Love Like Winter in the Rain
by BellamMuses
Summary: Bella Swan recently left her former life behind in New York city. After everything that happened in her past, Bella has left her beloved friends Angel, Mimi, and the gang behind, she has set out to Seattle to leave her troubles behind and start anew.
1. Chapter 1

I walked down the long hallway with Renee - squeezing my hand gently - walking next to me and Charlie not far behind. Phil couldn't make it because he had pre-season practices and he really couldn't afford to miss any. It was forgivable I thought to myself. I was extremely anxious to get to the admissions office, I kept speeding my pace, only to be slowed down by Renee's reassuring pat on my arm every so often. All I really wanted to do was get settled into my new dorm room, meet my new roommate -it was better to just get it over with-, and relax before dinner was to be served. After a while, images of home started to flood my mind. I saw Angel's face - so loving and beautiful -, Roger -him and his brotherly ways -, and most of all, I saw the sun. I felt its blistering heat on my pale skin and it truly felt wonderful.

**Chapter 1: The New School . . .**

We finally reached the admissions office, but never fully made it inside. "Oh hello. You must be Isabella Swan." a woman dressed in a sharp red suit jacket and matching skirt announced as we approached. She was quite tall, but that could be due to the sharp black stilettos she wore on her feet now. Her face -on the other hand- was a different story. She had rather fair features, although, her blue-green eyes stuck out like a sore thumb and it went amazingly well with her light auburn hair. These combinations right here made her unexpectedly beautiful in my eyes.

"Yes, I'm Isabella Swan. But I go by Bella, please." she smiled a warm smile and replied, "Ah, well it's a pleasure to finally meet you dear. I'm Mrs. Moore. You're student counselor here. We simply cannot wait to see that you excel in our studies here at Seattle Creative Academic Dance School (S.C.A.D.S)." she said this with a genuine friendly smile, I matched it. She then handed me a bulging folder. I heard Charlie sigh somewhere behind me and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. "I'm so terribly sorry Mr. and Mrs. Swan. I'm Mrs. Moore" she said, her friendly smile reappearing as she shook hands with my parents. Although my mother hadn't been a Mrs. Swan in -I don't really know how many odd something years- she didn't protest. You see, my mother and father got divorced when I was younger. Soon after my mother left Forks, WA because she simply hated being a small town girl trapped in the always wet and green town. Instead, my mother moved to New York -my new missed home- and married Phil. Who is considerably younger than her, but he is who she wants, so I don't -and cannot- complain.

"Bella_-"_ Mrs. Moore had said, pulling me from my sudden reverie with myself. I smiled up at her, making sure that I made eye contact so as not to offend her any further. "Inside the folder is a map of the campus, your roommate bio and room number, a schedule for the Dining Hall and all the operating hours for the extra-curricular activity facilities, and an emergency contact card as well. All of our students have one of these to carry around … or do whatever they please with. We feel safer knowing that they have ways of contacting us if need be." I smiled back at her and she was reaching around herself. She pulled out a necklace -or so it appeared to be- with a couple of cards dangling and a key. "These dear, are your Student ID, your Charge card, and your dorm key. I advise that you keep this with you at all times. If it is lost, you must pay fees and such to replace it." I took the items from her and quickly

-But carefully- shoved them into my parka for the time being. She smiled and passed a clip board to Renee.

"This on the other hand, I would need your signatures Mr. and Mrs. Swan … Just in case something should happen here on campus … and you are not available, We can see that Bella gets the best care that there is to receive" Renee and Charlie simple signed me away … as if I were nothing but a piece of property. I quickly pushed that thought aside knowing I would only become depressed again if I thought about the final farewell that lay ahead for me and them. I would miss my erratic hair-brained mother and my too stern father. I sighed to myself, not realizing it was more audible than I had meant it to be.

Mrs. Moore picked up on my mood and smiled once more. What was up with this woman? Was she mentally incompetent? I simply smiled and stared down at my feet -which I was now crossing and uncrossing them- because I felt the blush coming along. "Don't worry Bella; I will have you on your way momentarily. I'll just give these directions to you -she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper- and I will send you on your way" She said goodbye and wished me good luck, she also offered that if I needed anything, to come to her or call her… no matter what time of day it was.

It was a short distance to my dorm hall from the admissions hall. This was a good and a bad thing I guess. Depending on whether you looked at the glass as half empty or half full. I silently laughed to myself and looked outside the window. I never really noticed the scenery until now. It was absolutely breathtaking. The grass was a plush green despite the constant rain showers and there was a beautiful fountain in the middle of the courtyard … and I was pretty sure that somewhere far off behind a building was a river or running water of some sort. I could hear its mesmerizing flowing as we walked up to the entrance of my dorm hall. "La Tua Cantante" was the name of this hall. It was quite a beautiful name.

We finally made it to the 4th floor, taking the elevator of course, beings that Charlie was opposed to any for of exercise unless absolutely necessary and that I had three suit cases full of clothing and shoes. The plaque on the door read 1209, my room finally. I reached in my pocket to get my key, but before my hand made it there, the door flung open and there stood this girl, with a jet-black pixie cut hairstyle and the most beautiful face. Honey golden eyes, so odd for a darker haired person, I thought to myself. She smiled a huge, beautiful smile. It put Mrs. Moore's smile to shame. I smiled back.

"OH! MY! GOD! You must be Isabel-" I interrupted her, "Bella, please". She smiled in apologies, "You must be Bella! We are so going to be best friends! Let me help you" She grabbed my bag from my shoulder and led Charlie into the room. I grabbed Renee's hand and pulled her in, quickly eyeing the room before me. It was so extravagant. The walls were a gorgeous Crème color and the tapestry was a vibrant jade color. Magnificent was all I could think. I said my farewells with tears in my eyes as Renee hugged me twice before Charlie pulled her out the door mutter something about how I needed time to get settled in and that she would see me soon enough. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I closed the door behind them.

"Hi… Again! I'm Alice. Alice Cullen." I smiled at her, "Hey, I'm Bella. Bella Swan." She started to laugh and I immediately felt self conscious and I started to blush. She was still laughing by the time I went to my bed and started unpacking my bedding stuff and I threw my school bags in the corner near the door. Alice perched herself lightly at the foot of my bed and sat patiently watching me. "Would you like some help?" she offered, I stared at for a moment, "If… you really… want to, then sure." She jumped up gracefully, I suddenly felt like I shouldn't even be wasting my time at this school to begin with. She picked up on my mood and laughed lightly as she walked into the closet and put my clothes into drawers and on hangers. I walked into there to put my shoes and stuff under the racks when I stopped dead in my tracks. The closet was HUGE. It went back about 12 feet and across it was about 8 feet. Compared to my little closet back in New York, this was like a freaking apartment. I assume Alice took in my bewildered expression because she burst into laughter and held on to her vanity for support. I wanted to be aggravated with her, but her bubbly personality wouldn't allow me. I couldn't help but join in the laughter with her.

We finished unpacking my things soon after that and went and sat out in the main room. We sat curled up on her bed talking animatedly. She was a really nice person. Probably the nicest person I had met since being in Seattle three days ago. Embarrassingly so, my stomach grumbles as she is explaining to me about how the food here is amazing -or at least she is told so- I was confused by the statement, but I just brushed it off.

"I'm sorry Bella. I've kept us from dinner with my silly stories and nonsense things." I just smiled at her. "Don't worry about it Alice, I'm fine. Quite frankly, I'm not that hungry" She grimaced at my words and then she was up and bouncing toward the door. "Where are you going?" she smiled a heartbreaking smile, "To dinner of course. Silly Bella, com'on or we are going to miss it all completely!" I laughed at her anxious tone, and jumped up and walked out behind her, locking the door.

"W-o-W!" I exclaimed as we walked into the Dining Hall. It was dimly lit and there were huge groupings of tables that held about five to seven people each. The tables were draped in a deep burgundy colored table cloth and the tapestries were a bright ivory color. The chandeliers hanging from the ceiling were so elegant that I was actually afraid to eat underneath them. Alice tugged on my arm and pulled me through the line. The food looked exquisite and we ate on plates with real silverware, unlike my old school where we had everything plastic and ate off those divided trays they give kindergarteners. I swiped my card swiftly trying to keep up with Alice when I heard a booming laugh come from behind me. It sounded like it was right behind me but when I looked back, he was ten people away laughing. Alice turned back and gave him a death stare. It was so horrific that it sent chills down my spine. I scattered clumsily up to her pace and she led me to a table. There were already three people sitting there. Alice sat next to this gorgeous blonde haired boy. He was built up nicely which would be hard to tell if it weren't for you being able to see his forearms right below the rolled up sleeve of his button down white dress shirt. I hurried my eyes away and sat down next to Alice. Alice laughed lightly as the blonde whispered something into her ear. "Bella -she said in her trilling soprano voice- This here -she gestured toward the blonde sitting next to her- is my boyfriend Jasper. Next to him is our sister Rosalie and the-" she was cut off because I was no longer paying attention because this big burly guy had walked up and was standing behind the girl who was supposed to be Rosalie. I couldn't help but to stare at his huge muscles, watching as he flexed them -obviously amused by my expression- and they rolled up his arm and back down. I turned back to Alice and she had a sour look on her face.

"And Bella, This loser, right there -she rolled her eyes toward the big, brawny one- is my brother Emmett. And finally -she said with a sigh- the one sitting across from you is my other Brother Edward." I stared at her in astonishment and confusion. I probably made myself look like a complete idiot. She broke into my thoughts by laughing, I laughed an unsteady laugh with her and then quickly stared down at my plate. "Everyone -she said- this is my new friend Bella. She's new here" I could hear the smile in her voice and I looked up and smiled at them all, "Nice to m-meet you all I said" I practically smacked myself mentally for stuttering over a simply word like that. But I quickly fought back as the other boy, the one with the beautiful bronze hair, got up -black fury was all you could read in his eyes- and tossed his tray in the trash a few feet away and strode off. His mood easily readable no matter where you were sitting. I ducked my head and picked away at my food.

Finally I decided I had had enough with the food and I pushed it away. "Alice -I said, almost a whisper- I think I'm going to go up to the room and get settled in some more. I'm not feeling to great right now" Concern filled her golden eyes, but I brushed it off. "Do you want me to come up with you?" she asked, I could tell that she had meant it, "No, enjoy the rest of your evening, I will be fine -I assured her- I'll probably just go to bed. Goodnight everyone" I said as I stood and took my tray and ditched it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: What was I thinking. . .**

Once I was up in my room, I felt completely safe to let myself cave in on myself. Being away from my friends and family was killing me. Although Charlie was less than 3 hours away, it still didn't do justice to the loneliness I felt deep inside my heart. I went reluctantly into the enormous bathroom and started to run a hot bath. I went back into the room and got my bathroom bag and my pajamas. I went back in and got into the tub. It was just what I needed. I heard the phone ringing in the background. I got out and sighed, started to drain the water and walked out into the cool room. "Hello?" I asked, immediately I knew who it was. "OH MY GOODNESS! Hey Girl! How are you?" Angel screamed into the phone. I smiled and started to chat with him about my new roommate and how beautiful it was here.

"Oh, girlfriend, I'm so glad you are having a blast! We miss you like crazy here. Roger, Mark, Mimi, Collins, Me OF COURSE!, Maureen and Joanne -whenever they can tolerate to care about someone other than themselves-" I smiled to myself and kept the conversation up. I heard Alice come into the room noisily. "Angel, Hun, I'm going to have to call you back later on this weekend. I'm bushed from the flight and being with the family and everything. Say hello to everyone -Maureen and Joanne specifically- when you see them next. Send my Love to everyone, hugs and kisses. Uh-huh, Bye" I hung up then and immediately felt lonely again. It was wearing on me, what with not be within a 100 foot distance of one of my family/friends.

"Bella…" Alice called hesitantly from outside the door to the bathroom, "…Are you alright?" worry was readable in every word she spoke. "Yeah, I'm fine Alice, give me a minute please." "Okay…" she seemed complacent enough for the moment. I came out a few seconds later wearing my comfy sweats and a tattered Alvin and Ailey t-shirt. She looked even more beautiful than I remembered, sitting there on her bed in a silky ocher colored camisole top and matching bottoms. I immediately was self conscious about my tattered usual bedtime clothing. "So, How was the rest of your evening?" I asked her. She smiled sheepishly, "Oh Bella -she sighed- I'm so sorry about how my brother Edward behaved tonight. It's just that … he can lose his temper at times and everything. He will come around to it one of these days. I mean look at you -she waved her hand in awed silence at me- You're gorgeous, who wouldn't come around?" I couldn't help but laugh at her. I didn't just laughed, I cracked myself up to the point of tears. She joined in after a while, but then her face went serious.

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" she asked me in a non-interested voice. I stared out the window a long moment before answering. "I don't really know, why? What do you have planned?" she smiled again and I couldn't help but smile back, but then I felt stupid so I looked down and picked at a loose strand of fabric on my quilt. "Hmm… -she tapped her finger on her chin- I was planning on going shopping. But I don't have a partner. You see… Rosalie and Emmett are celebrating their 2 year anniversary -she sighed warily- and well, I was hoping that maybe you wanted to go with me?" an eager smile flashed across her face. "Uh… Well you see… - I couldn't believe that I was at a loss for words- Sure, why not. I need to get out and about." I smiled back at her, it was easy enough to please Alice.

Then there were three quiet raps at the door. I frowned "Who could that be?" Alice stayed put and pretended to be doing something. "Fine… don't move - I laughed at her- I'll get the door." I walked over and opened it slowly, watching Alice's face, she just merely sat there -almost bouncing out of her clothes- watching me… waiting almost, like a kid on Christmas morning. I turned quickly to the door and BAM! 

Edward stood in my doorway, tall handsome and oh so mysterious. I felt my pulse begin to speed just looking at him. He was like a perfect sculpture, an Adonis in the flesh, standing before me. I felt a blush coming along, but then I realized that I hadn't been breathing.

"BELLA! Bella? Bella, are you okay?" I couldn't tell where the voice was coming from, but it sounded like Alice. I tried opening my eyes, but everything was blurry. That's when I saw him. Edward was leaning over me, worry and fear in his eyes. Alice was sitting next to him with a glass of water. "She's fine Edward, yeesh. You completely act out of line at dinner, now you're like Mr. Save-a-Life because she fainted." I heard a growl, Was it a growl? I don't know, I opened my eyes and relief washed over both of their faces, I tried to sit up, but before I was even on an elbow, I was whisked up into the air. The movement made me dizzy and I felt as if I was going to hurl. "Put me down!" I protested, but no one listened, then I was set gently onto my bed. I scurried up toward the head of my bed, pulling my legs up to my chest and sitting there. Alice sat in front of me and help out my medicine bag -How did she..?- I let the thought go. I took the water and took the pills I needed. Edward sat on the other side of the room, his face was contorted as if he didn't know what he was going to actually do. I watched him for a few seconds, and this his eyes met mine. I tried to look away, I really did. But something -some kind of unseen force- was holding me there. Alice got up and gracefully threw herself at Edward mock hitting him -as far as I could tell- he laughed and Alice all but threw him out of the room physically. "Go! Edward, leave. You can talk to Bella once she has slept some. I just stared at the surreal scene. Maybe I was dreaming… Maybe I had died after I saw him -ridiculous- I got up and poured the water out. "I'm sorry Alice, I don't know what got into me back there." I tried to smile, but it felt wrong on my face. "It's okay, I was just glad that you are okay. Are you still up for our shopping trip tomorrow?" I thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I said I was in, didn't I?" and with that we both burst into a spell of hysterical laughter.

I don't remember exactly when I fell asleep, but it must have been gradual because I felt well rested. I awoke to Alice talking to someone… the other voice sounded familiar but I wasn't quite sure. I peeked from underneath my bedspread quilt, and sure enough, there sat Edward, at our tiny table talking animatedly to Alice. I decided I was going to play sleep until he left, but I was under sudden attack a few moments later. Alice was sitting on top of me. "Eek! Bella, I'm so glad you're finally up! Come on silly, get up and get dressed. We'll grab breakfast off campus today" she said, her smile stretching across her face from ear to ear. I heard Edward let out a low chuckle. I glowered at him and got up and grudgingly went into the bathroom. I came out no more than 30 minutes later. "Oh! Bella, please, please, Please? Can I do your hair today?" I moaned, then sighed and nodded. "Good luck with that idea Bella." Edward said, chuckling again. I wanted so bad to smack him. But I wasn't a violent person.

I walked into the closet and allowed her to do my hair. "I hope you like it -she beamed- I think it does wonder for your beautiful brown eyes" I gasped as I look into the mirror, I was stunning -no doubt- "Wow, Alice, this is… amazing!" I shrieked and jumped up to give her a hug which she returned with just as much enthusiasm. I walked out and Edward's jaw dropped. Then he snapped it shut quickly, muttering something unintelligible under his breath and he ran out slamming the door behind him. My face fell and Alice noticed. "Don't worry Bella, He's always grumpy when he is hungry" I tried not to laugh but I couldn't help it. We walked out of the room -arms linked and laughing- and down the hall to the elevator. "I'll be right back Bella, I want to go say good bye to Jasper really quick." I nodded and went and sat down in the chair next to a wide open window in the lobby. "Listen New girl -I turned to see a skankish looking girl with a too low shirt and pants so tight they could be another layer of skin on- I'm the boss of this school. I'm the minds and envies of every student in here. What I say goes and that's final, got it?"

I stared at her for another moment, then replied, "The name is Bella, got it? Or do I need to spell it out for you? And you may be the whatever of this school, but I'm pretty sure they only notice you because of the horrific clothes you're wearing now. No one would be caught dead wearing that-" she cut me off with a grunt and walked away. I smiled to myself _-Well done Bella, Well done-_. Just then Alice came bouncing to my side "Ready to go?" I smiled "Ready as I'll ever be" and we walked outside into the darkened mid morning light. The air outside was warm, but there was a cool breeze. It was very pleasant, and the view of everything outside the building was glorious, even in the dim light of the spring day. Alice was in an exuberant and it wasn't long after that I began to feel the same way. We skipped along the sidewalk and out into the parking lot. That's when I saw him. His beauty struck me even more each time I looked at him, a perfect sculpture-Adonis in the flesh was all I could manage to think. Then aggravation quickly covered any previous emotion that could be seen on my face -_An open book is what my mother used to call me, because I was so easy to read from my appearance_- and I immediately wanted to turn around and leave. Edward looked up from his hands and moved away from the shiny silver Volvo he was leaning against so casually. I stopped dead in my tracks when he started to walk toward me. He flashed a grin and Alice tried to pull me forward, but my feet wouldn't budge. I did an about face and walked swiftly away.

That's when I felt something cold grab my arm. I turned around ready to scold Alice for not letting me be. I stood there staring at him -like and idiot with my mouth hanging wide open- as he smiled down at me. I shivered and he dropped my hand. "Hello, Bella. How are you doing this morning?" he asked me so casually. "F-fine, And yourself?" I asked, I quickly snapped my mouth closed as I heard a snicker come from somewhere behind him. I peered around him to glare at Alice and she pursed her lips and looked away. "Bella, I'm terribly sorry about this morning -he paused- and last night as well. It was rude of me to behave with such manors. Will you-" his voice was so seductive, like sweet velvet, it was truly mesmerizing. I interrupted him "Don't worry about it, no harm." I threw in a friendly smile and began to walk away. "Please… let me make it up to you

-he paused slightly- Could I take you out to lunch or something?" I stared at him dumbfounded but then felt offended that he had the audacity to try and be nice to me after the way he had treated me. I had done nothing wrong to him.

I felt my eyes narrow, "Thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate the offer _Edward_, but I have plans today. Maybe another day. Have a nice one." I waved and walked off toward Alice, blushing the whole way. I don't think there was a pause between each blush, although I could feel each one as if it were just starting. Alice saw me and began to get into a yellow Porsche. "W-o-W!" I said, "This is your car? Geesh, you parents MUST be loaded" I said with a laugh and a shake of my head as I got into the passenger side. It was a nice ride, no doubt, but I didn't know much about cars. I looked out the mirror and saw Edward standing in the parking lot where I had left him, staring out after the car, his face looked hurt… but I couldn't feel sorry for him. No, I wouldn't feel sorry for him because I deserved none of what he gave to me. Although he did apologize…

"So where do you want to shop today? What's your favorite store?" Alice asked as we were pulling up into the parking lot the mediocre shopping mall that Seattle had. "Uh… Alice, well… lets just shop where you like. I don't really have the money to go shopping. I need to save it up for school, food, and necessities." she grimaced, "If you haven't noticed, my parents _are loaded_ and you are my friend so I would like to treat you. Please? -puppy dog eyes- It would make me very, very happy if you would let me shop for you today." I couldn't help but laugh at her, "OH fine Alice, but I get _some_ say in what you want to buy." With that we got out and strode into the mall, arm in arm.

It didn't take as long as I had expected it. Pretty much anything that my hands touched, Alice bought. I learned quickly that it did no justice for me to argue so I tried to touch simple things, but she wasn't having any of that. "Bella -she wined- _Please_ let me buy you something gorgeous and complicated. You're so simply it basically burns my eyes to look at you" she said with a bell-like laugh. I grimaced and nodded. She did have good taste in clothes. It was easier shopping with Alice than it was with Renee. Renee wanted to look at any and everything, try on everything even if it wasn't her size. She thought that it was the best part of shopping - to make fun of yourself and hanging with the ones you love- it made me sad to think about her. Alice picked up quickly on my mood, "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick?" I shook my head, "Nah, I'm just sort of tired is all. How much longer?" I was growing more and more aggravated with the whole shopping ordeal. I really wanted to go back and read or go to the facilities at school and stretch… maybe get a little dancing in.

It didn't take as much talking as I thought it would to convince Alice that it would be best if we went back to the dorm and hung out then until dinner or something. She agreed happily and off we went.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

"**What lies beneath will resurface. . ."**

I was sort of in a rush to get upstairs. I wanted to call Angel and Mimi to dish about my new roommate, who had to be THE best roommate anyone could ask for. I began to grab bags out the trunk. I took over half, leaving a few for Alice, but she was on her cell phone. I threw an apologetic glance her way -she waved at me and mouthed for me to go- I smiled again and began walking back to the building. It was drastically cooler in the building compared to the outdoor weather. I shivered and then a cold hand was grasping at bags in my hand. I looked up more startled than anything. "Bella -his voice was so beautiful- Let me help you." he said with a smile. I smiled back and let him grab a few. "So what are you doing, stalking me?" I joked halfheartedly and he laughed with me, "You wish… -he paused, chuckling to himself- But no, I was actually waiting down here, Alice told me to me you here." I grimaced, "I see… Well I'm perfectly capable of walking to my room by myself-" he put a cool finger to my lips, "Please Bella, Just let me help. I promise I won't bother you again… If that's what you want and everything" his lips pulled up at the corner -such a beautiful smile- I felt rude staring so I forced my eyes away. "If you want, I'm sorry you had to do this. I know it's the last thing you want to do… you probably have a girlfriend… a life and the last thing you want to do is spend it helping me. I'm sorry about intruding-" he cut me off -yeesh what was with him- immediately talking so that I couldn't pick up where I left off. "Bella, you're absurd. I would love nothing more than to hang out with you, but you seem to be appalled by my behavior towards you so I understand-" I cut him off then -ha ha- and began, "I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, I just thought you might have other important things to do, but, if you want to… we can."

He smiled his crooked smile and stepped off the elevator. "Well then, how's about tonight? We could watch a movie or something. It's supposed to storm pretty bad so we might want to stay in doors." I just nodded and dug around in my pocket for my key -aha- I opened the door and let him in ahead of me. I immediately felt ashamed at how unorganized our room was, but then again, I didn't really care. "Nice literature he said." I glanced up and he was looking at my book collection. "Yeah, thanks. What kind are you into?" he smiled crookedly at me again -stopping my heart, scattering my mind- and replied, "The same as you, with some exceptions. Kind of high levels for reading isn't it? I mean most students don't read stuff this good." I smiled back and excused myself to the bathroom. I brushed through my hair and washed my face. I really wanted to soak again… but now wasn't the time. The phone rang and I bolted out the door. "Hello?" I asked almost breathless. Edward sat down and stared off into space; he picked up a book and started to read. "One sec Angel -I covered the mouth piece- This is going to be a while, I'll meet up with you later. Sorry" he smiled and put the book back. "Works for me, I'll see you at dinner -he walked up to me and stroked my face slowly, of course I blushed- bye." he walked out and closed the door. I sighed as soon as I heard it click. "Hello? Yes, Sorry about that. I had to get rid of some company."

Angel: Hun, who was it? Dish, I want all the details.

Bella: Oh Angel, I absolutely love it here - I sat down on my bed- My roommate is the BEST and I'm friends with her siblings. They seem nice enough. But she has this brother…

Angel: Oh I'm sorry, is he being nice? I hope so, lord knows you need a break… -she paused- … and a new man -he laughed-.

Bella: Oh it's completely the opposite. He's absolutely gorgeous! And he is so sweet and nice and… And… -I couldn't form complete sentences so I just laughed-

Angel and I talked for about fifteen more minutes and I heard Collins moving around. "Well, I will call you back later… after my _date_ -I said laughing- Yes, yes I will tell you everything that happens. I love you too. Miss you all; send my love to everyone, kisses hon. Bye". I hung the phone up and lay back on my bed. Today had been exhausting but I was keyed up and couldn't wait until I saw Edward's face again. As much as I knew that he was out of my league, I still couldn't help hoping. I got up and in that moment Alice came bumbling in -as graceful as a ballerina- "Oh, Bella! You should let me do your hair and makeup for dinner tonight. I'll let you dress yourself… If you want that is" she said with a sigh that hid more than just pure generosity. "Alice thanks. I'd appreciate that a lot, but I was wondering if you could pick out my outfit tonight. I want something casual though." she beamed from ear to ear and jumped up and down screaming, then threw herself into my arms as she hugged me.

_Rap, Rap, Rap_

Three knocks came at the door then. Alice went to get it. There, in all her beautiful blonde glory, stood Rosalie. "Rose, I thought you would never get here." Alice said laughing and letting Rosalie into the room. "Like I would miss this, Tell me what to do and I'm on it" Alice thought for a minute and then pushed me into the closet again. "Here, you start on Bella's hair -she pulled and twisted my hair the way she wanted it- and then I'll pick out the outfit, and then I'll need your help with her makeup" Rosalie nodded and got to work. I sighed, both aggravated and content. Aggravated because I was playing the roll as Princess Barbie with two painfully gorgeous girls and content because I had an unofficial date with the mysterious and beautiful _Edward Cullen._ I laughed silently to myself.

"Okay -Rosalie said- How do you like your hair?" she said smiling -satisfied I assumed- and twirling me in the chair to face the mirror. "Wow-" I sat there, my mouth hanging open like an idiot once again "Oh my goodness, Rosalie, This is amazing! I love it! Oh thanks so much…" I smiled at her in the mirror. "And Alice, wow, I-I look like a total babe" I said laughing. They both joined in, I was quickly ashamed of my laugh because theirs was like a chorus of bells that no one could resist listening to. "Well thanks Bella, But really, you're just a total babe, believe it or not". They both laughed and we heard someone knocking at the door. "Hurry Bella, get dressed. I'll get the door and stall. Then we will meet you both down at the dinning hall." and with that they both laughed with smiled one last goodbye.

I got dressed in a hurried-trance like state. So nervous that I didn't know my left from my right. Finally I was dressed, I smoothed my collar out on the brilliant blue blouse I wore and smoothed my pants out and double checked my flats. Perfect I thought to myself. I smiled, practicing facial expressions in the mirror, and then I decided I had wasted enough time in front of the vanity and I cracked the door and walked out. Edward stood there, dressed casually but still snazzy, he smiled at me. "Wow, Bella you look beautiful. Shall we?" he motioned for me to take his arm; I blushed and took it walking out in front of him to the elevator.

It felt awkward standing in the elevator with him; I hadn't the slightest clue as to what to say to him. But he broke the silence, "Bella, Calm down. It will be alright. If you don't want to hang out later… Just tell me, okay?" his crooked smile appeared and I smiled back, "No, I'm alright and I don't mind. I'm just thinking why on earth you would want to hang out with me…" I laughed a shaky laugh and glanced up at him. His face was confused. But then we were at the main floor, we stepped out and walked down to the dining hall. He paid for my food - against my better judgment- and led me to a table. It wasn't our usual table; it was secluded in a quiet dim corner with a lamp on the table as the only light source. I sat with an impish smile and he sat as well. He smiled again -god, I loved that smile- I smiled back and folded my napkin across my lap. "This is nice, very… private." I said with another smile. "Well, I thought it was only best and that… maybe we could use some privacy. I have something to tell you - he paused- but I don't know how or what to expect from you. You aren't like other girls I've met, and it scares me a little." I watched as he followed my process with the napkin, "I'm not sure what you mean, I mean… I know I'm different, but… you're scared? Why? I promise I won't hurt you -" I stopped mid sentence. I thought of a time back in New York, with Mike… I quickly banned that thought from my mind. I hated to think about him on perfect nights like these.

Edward caught up on my mood and asked the inevitable, "What are you thinking, Bella?" I saw the curiosity burning in his topaz colored eyes, and I blurted out the truth. "I was thinking about an ex-boyfriend, something you said reminded me of him. I'm sorry." I felt like an imbecile for spilling my mind like that, but something told me I really wanted no secrets between us. "Oh, I see. Well what about him? Why are you so private about your other life before here… -he paused- I mean I notice how you wince in pain sometimes when people question you about your previous friends and lifestyle…? Why is that?" I felt the tears trail down my cheeks, I couldn't do this. Not here, not now, not with this gorgeous boy sitting across from me. "Would you understand what I meant if I said a secret was better left untold?" confusion crossed his face but he nodded, "If that's what you want, although I _am _curious. But case closed no more questions. How do you like the new school?"

I smiled and we chatted happily on lighter subjects after that. We talked about our favorite colors, books, gem stones, seasons, and movies. But the night was fading away and getting into the early hours. I stood up reluctantly and he smiled. "I had a great evening tonight, thanks for joining me" he walked around the table and grabbed my hand -it was ice cold, just like Alice's and alarmingly smooth- I brushed it off as nothing and walked with him. We reached my door and stood there. I studied his face and he looked like he was debating with himself. I gave him a few moments. "Well, we should do this again sometime soon." I sighed, "Yes, we should. I had a really great time tonight" he pulled my hand up still held inside his and brushed my cheek, "Why don't we watch movies tonight at my room?" he asked in almost a whisper. I thought it over, "I'd like that, as long as… your brothers or roommate are okay with It." he chuckled silently -it was adorable- and brought my hand up on his shoulder. I left it there, "Don't worry about them, silly Bella." I watched him carefully as he lowered his face, the moment growing more and more intense. My heart sped and felt myself blushing -how pitiful, he hadn't even kissed me yet- and then, with the slightest touch -as light as a feather- his lips met mine. It was amazing; the feeling couldn't even be described. I kissed him with more intensity, and he pulled me closer -he was laughing, he was laughing! - And continued to kiss me… I was panting when he finally pulled back, his breath coming as fast as mine. I smiled at him and turned and went inside. I shut the door behind me and sighed as I slid to the floor. I was happy, hyper, and oh so very content.

"OH MY GOSH! Bella, you're back! How was it? How was it?" Alice was flinging herself onto the floor next to me sitting directly in front of me her beautiful face resting on my knees. I smiled at her and just shook my head. "It… was… amazing" I finally let the words escape my lips. "I _think _that was the best time I've had in a long time." I smiled and closed my eyes. I caught a glance at the digital clock on the nightstand and jumped up. Alice was a step ahead of me -how that happened, I have no clue- and she was asking me what was wrong.

I flung my bags and stuff around looking for my medicine bag. "I found it." Alice called and tossed it to me. I realized how late it actually was and I crawled up on my bed and started to cry. I could feel the makeup running down my face but I didn't care, I couldn't. I was screwed and I had no one here for emotional support. I could always call Angel -as soon as I thought that, I felt dumb and stashed it away- I could call Mimi, she would be getting off of work…

I picked up the phone and ran into the bathroom. I turned on the shower -low and buzzing- and sat in the bathtub, as far away from the door as possible.

Mimi: "Hello?"

Bella: "Mimi, it's me, Bella. I need your help. I skipped my AZT today and I don't know what to do." I heard her gasp and then there was some sort of whistling noise -was she running- then I heard Angel's name being called.

Mimi: "Bella, are you still there?"

Bella: "Yes, please… Please don't tell Angel, I cannot bear to disappoint her…"

Angel: "Hon, don't worry. Everything is going to be alright. Just listen to what I tell you. I'm going to need you to go take your medicine. And I'll call around and see what I can do about your blood. I know you took that cocaine with you, now toss it down the sink and I want to hear the water running. Please, Bella… all of it. We don't want to have another close call, now do we?"

Bella: -I felt the tears running down my cheeks- "N-no -I stumbled over the words and did what Angel told me- Okay, it's all gone. I swear to you, it is."

Angel: "Good, now I'm not at home right now, but as soon as I get there I will look that up for you and I will call you when its morning, ok hon."

Bella: "I don't know how to thank you, but please… Keep this between you and Mimi, I can't have the others worrying about me as well… "I sat down on the tub's edge again and started to cry again.

Angel: "Hon. Don't cry, it'll be alright, I promise, but you know… you know you need a confidant there because I can't always be there to make sure that you are okay…"

Bella: "I cant, not now… Another time… soon. I mean I just had the best night of my life, and now this." I started to sob again.

Angel: "WHAT?!?!"

Bella: "I went out on this date, with my roommate's brother -Edward Cullen I thought to myself- and it was THE best night of my life. And after he walked me to my dorm room again, he kissed me, and I'm pretty sure he won't want anything to do with me once…-"

Angel: "Child, don't worry about that. If that boy is worth your time… -No, she's fine, don't worry about anything- sorry, everyone was worried, but I'll keep it low. Remember what I said, tell someone. I love you and I will talk to you sooner than later. Night."

I hung up the phone with Angel and I felt a little better. Tomorrow morning I would go down to the dance studio and stretch it out some to relieve this stress before Angel called back again. But for the time being, I needed a hot shower. I ran the water again and stepped inside. The water felt amazing and the familiar scent of my favorite strawberry shampoo sent me into a familiar comfortable place. A place where I was normal, like everyone else, I didn't have to worry about anything and I could just dance the days and nights away and paint everything that happened within those days. Soon, I felt as though the shower was pointless because I was working myself up again by letting my mind wander. I felt dumb but I couldn't help it. I went to the sink and took some painkillers; all of a sudden I had a terrible headache.

I walked out into the room dressed in the new pajamas that Alice and I had bought today - a camisole top (bright pink) with matching pants that had blue pinstripes- it looked amazing on me, and they were extremely comfortable. I walked over and sat on my bed, crying spells always exhausted me. "Alice?" I asked, in almost a whisper. She put the book she was reading down, "Yes, Bella?" I watched her face, looking for any kind of distress in her features, there was nothing and so I continued, "We're like best friends right? I mean I could tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me… right?" she looked confused and moved over to my bed. "Bella, what's wrong?" I sighed and figured I might as well get over it, "Alice I -I sighed again and then continued- I'm HIV+." there, I finally said it. She looked at me, understanding crossed her face and then her cold arms were wrapped around my body -she was hugging me- "I'm so sorry, Bella. How are you doing? I swear, I will be the best friend you could have asked for, I won't ever leave your side." I smiled, I couldn't help it. I like Alice a lot and I wanted nothing more from her, than for her to not reject me like I thought she would. I looked up her and continued, "I also am a recovering cocaine addict -I whispered, looking down at my ankle messing with my anklet- and the reason why I don't talk about my past is because I lost one of my friends, and it was hard. He killed himself you know? It was the hardest time of my life, that's why I started doing drugs… it was a long night and I was so "high" that I forgot to be careful… And two years later, here I am. I should have been honest with you before, but … it's really hard to talk about you know. You probably hate me." I sighed and looked up at her face and it looked like she was crying, but there were no tears, just choking sounds - I stared curiously- and then I hugged her back and we sat there for the longest and cried. I told her about Mike Newton and how much I cared and missed him. She just listened and comforted me when I needed it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: **

**Red cross - red cross . . . **

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I squinted into the darkness, the clock read 5:40 a.m.. I glanced over to see Alice's empty bed, _She must have went to Jasper's room_ I thought to myself. I forced myself to roll out of bed and flicked on the light in the bathroom. I relieved myself and went to the mirror, "AH!" I said to my reflection in the mirror, it was a whole different person. The person looking back at me was looking so rough and tired. I proceeded to wash my face and dressed in my favorite black leotard, a pair of comfy track pants, and my favorite hoodie. I didn't feel like messing with my hair right then so I pulled it up into a messy bun, grabbed my bag and keys. I contemplated leaving a not, but then I decided it felt childish and ended up just leaving, turning the lights and stuff off on my way out.

The crisp, cool morning air felt good, so I walked a little slower than usual. The sky was beginning to lighten up some, no sign of the sun ever appearing today. The dance studio was empty, quiet except for my soft foot steps across the worn, faded wooden floors. I easily found the CD player and popped in my mixed CD. Claire De Lune began to fill the room and I sat on the floor and began to lace my shoes up. The music calmed and relaxed my mind and muscles. I stood and began to warm up. _Arms over head, hands to toes, point touch left, point touch right, stretch left - stretch right. _I repeated the warm up as the music began to fade. _Kiss the Rain_ began to play, an upbeat song. As I glided across the floor I thought of Alice and how wonderful she was. She was the best friend I could have here. I plied across the floor, spinning and twirling. I tucked my body in and out of the melody in the music, I felt like I was flying, the song came to an end and I stopped in formal stance, my head bowed to the floor. That's when I heard him, he applauded me, "Brava, Brava." he said and let out a whistle. I blushed and walked over to the CD player -changing my shoes as quick as they allowed- and walked back over to him. "Hi" I said like an idiot. He grabbed my hands and started twirling me into and effortless waltz. "Hello, How are you this morning?" he asked, his lovely voice practically hypnotizing me, "Fine, and you?" I replied and I gently rested my hands on his shoulders smiling up at him. I hadn't forgotten last night…

Suddenly he grew rigid under my touch and I let my smile fade away. He dropped his hands and I followed, I hadn't realized that we had stopped moving. "I cant ever let myself get carried away with you, Bella" he said with a sigh, gazing into my eyes. I watched his eyes go from a melted honey to almost black._ Was that possible?_ I wondered to myself. The confusion crossed my face, "Why?" I asked, disappoint saturating my tone. He grinned a tight smile -trying to lighten the mood obviously- an my heart nearly fell through my chest. "It's just better if I'm not around you, it's -he sighed, caressing my face tenderly- it's just safer. I'm sorry-" I gently put my finger to his lips, "Don't apologize Edward, I'm not sorry. But… I -I felt the tears starting to build up behind my eyes, burning like acid- I… understand, sorry I cant be enough" I murmured, loosening his grip around my waist. I walked away. I felt his eyes burning into my back, but I didn't turn around, I gathered my stuff quickly and when I walked out the door, he was still standing there.

I went and sat at the water's edge gazing out over the water. _How could I let myself get carried away? Like he would ever want or fall for a girl like me._ I blinked the tears away from my eyes and grimaced at the sky when the rain started to fall. I got up reluctantly and walked back to my room.

The hot shower felt great and my shampoo sent me into a trance. The ringing of the phone broke the silence but then was interrupted. I heard a muted conversation -when had Alice come back?- and I got out the shower and dressed quickly. I stepped out the bathroom and Alice was standing at the dresser -leaning casually- holding a piece of paper with writing on it. Her eyes were wary, and the bruises under her eyes looked like she wasn't getting enough sleep. I walked over and smiled, she returned it and handed me the paper. "Here you go Bella, I'm guessing these are instructions?" she asked not bothering to cover up the burning curiosity in her voice and face. I grimaced -I had missed Angel's call, just when I needed to talk to her the most- "Blood-work clinic, Red Cross I assume." Knowing quickly masked over everything on her face. "Are you hungry Bella,?" she asked finally, I nodded and we went down to breakfast.

I was dreading having to sit at the same table with Edward. It would be awkward no doubt. But as I went to sit at the table with the rest of them, Edward wasn't there. _Weird._ I thought to myself. But, while I sat there and attempted to eat -disappointment vaporizing my entire appetite- I realized that the Cullen's plates remained untouched. Throughout the whole meal, not one of them looked down at their plates to eat any food. They didn't even bother to pick at it. I pushed those thoughts away quickly because my mind wouldn't let me keep Edward out. My mind was reveling over the rejection I had gotten from Edward this morning, but my reverie was broken when Alice began speaking to me. "Hmm…?" I replied, not fully hearing her question. "I said -A little irritated- What's wrong?" her tone automatically becoming cautious. Her voice distracted me. So beautiful, like a chorus of church bells ringing on Easter morning. I felt a fresh wave of tears coming along and fought them back, "Nothing - I answered, placing my fork down- it's nothing. Its really nothing, never was." I winced as the truth in the words hit me. It hurt worse than I would have expected. I got up slowly from the table and dumped my tray. I was on my way out when I ran into Edward. He looked down at me, hurt crossing his face as I gazed at my feet and walked away.

I tried to hurry away, but my chest ached and I was having trouble breathing. _Oh crap. No, not here… Not now._ I calmed myself and pushed the button for the elevator. "_Of all days, it wants to take its dear sweet time" _I mumbled under my breath. Then there was an icy hand on my arm. "Bella -he looked down at his shoe, then back at me- I'm sorry." I just stared at him. "Seriously? Do you get a kick out of doing this to girls? If so, I don't find it very funny…" I mumbled the last part and turned to get into the elevator, he was right behind me. I saw Alice through my peripheral vision, she was walking in this direction.

I looked up at Edward and he smiled. My heart stopped, sputtered, and restarted in overtime. He turned to face me and I looked straight ahead, afraid to meet his eyes. He took his finger and coaxed my face up to look at him. I closed my eyes, he sighed. "What?" I asked, my voice confused and sad. "I… don't know what to tell you. I want to tell you, but I cant… does that make any sense?" I shook my head. He laughed a quiet chuckle and bent his head down and brushed his lips against mine gently. I felt a tear run down my cheek. "Why are you crying, Bella?" I opened my eyes and his were liquid gold again. "…because, I like you a whole lot more than I should… and way more than you like me." he shook his head and pushed me against the back wall of the elevator gently.

"Bella, I don't think you truly see yourself. I cant believe that you don't have a boyfriend… and that you are interested in _me_" he said. "Who doesn't like you?" I muttered and let out a shaky laugh. He laughed with me and caressed my cheek again. I smiled up at him, "I don't care what's wrong with you Edward, I want to be with you… No matter what." I said, not caring what he would say in return, but he had to know. Excitement played around in his eyes and then sadness took over his face. He leaned his head down some, like he was torn about what to do next. I stretched up on my tippy toes and touched my lips to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put mine up around his neck, eyeing his face carefully to make sure he wasn't going to reject me again. He didn't, instead, he kissed my lightly… and then again with more fierceness. Kissing Edward was like dying and going to heaven. It was amazing, and I loved every minute of it. I'm not quite sure how long we made out on the elevator, but people began getting on. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me. He tightened his grip, but I didn't care, I was content with just being with him. I ran my tongue gently around the edge of his bottom lip and he exhaled in a huge gust, my lips trembled as his cool breath played in my hair. His breathing came more and more uneven on my neck and I shivered. He chuckled and pulled away. I smiled -embarrassed and blushing- "Well…that… that was… great" I said smiling wider. He smiled back and brushed my cheek, I felt it grow hotter under his touch.

"I don't want to push this with you, but I've already told you how felt… and… well -I blushed again, I couldn't tell when they ended and started up again- well, I was wondering how you felt about me?" I asked, although it wasn't really supposed to be. He was quiet for a moment, thinking over his answer thoroughly. "Bella, would it be too soon if I told you that I was in love with you?" I shook my head and smiled bashfully and he took my hand in his. "So, are you going to be around? Or Are you going to avoid me on and off again?" he laughed a throaty laugh. "Bella, would you do me the honors of being my girlfriend?" I smiled and nodded. "I think I can do that - I laughed and squeezing his hand said- if you will have me?" He kissed me lightly as the elevator door opened, "Always, love."

I blushed all the way to my room. There, he kissed me again… and I kissed him back. He smiled my favorite smile, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tonight, Bella?" I bit my lip for a second debating the option. "Sure, I'd like that." I smiled again and walked in the room. He pushed the door and pulled me by hand into him again and kissed me again. I forgot to breathe and I was feeling lightheaded and I pulled away. "I'll see you later." and I closed the door behind me. I squealed silently and Alice laughed at me. My heart stopped and I dropped to the floor clutching my chest. "Yeesh, Alice, you're going to be the death of me one of these days" she laughed her soprano bell laugh. "Well, I think I should get this over with…" I grimaced. "Alice, … -I bit my lip again- Will…, will you go with me today?" she walked over to me and grabbed my hand. I'll be with you whenever you need me.". Her hand was ice cold again, like she had left it in the freezer for the early portion of the morning.

I smiled as Alice and I walked out to her car. "Bella?" I bit my lip nervously, "Hmm…?" she smiled briefly, "Would you tell me if you're going to get sick?" she laughed halfheartedly. I laughed with her and nodded. We had only been driving for a few minutes before I began to feel my stomach role with nausea. Alice kept throwing me nervous glances, "Bella - she paused- you are looking kind of green, Are you sure that you're okay?" I laughed, "I promised I wouldn't get sick in your car didn't I?" she nodded and smiled sheepishly again. "You did" she amended. I laughed and smiled. Then I started to tune her out because no matter how much I liked her, in a time like this, I really didn't want to learn to speak _Car and Driver_.

The all-too familiar red and white colors of the Red Cross building came into site sending my stomach into summersaults and swirling nausea all over again. She parked the car and we both got out, I walked around to meet her on the sidewalk. "Thanks again for doing this with me -I smiled- I'll owe you for a lifetime" she grabbed my hand, "No problem, Bella. That's what friends are for, right?" we laughed and ventured into the building.

"can I help you?" a plump woman at the front desk asked as I walked up to her. "Uh, Actually, yes. I need some blood work done. You see, I forgot to take my AZT a couple days ago and I need to check up on my cells and everything. Just a precaution is all." I forced myself to stop talking because I was making myself even more paranoid. She smiled up at me and rummaged through her desk for papers. "I just need you to fill out these papers fro me -she handed me a clipboard- are you new to the area? -I nodded- okay dear, well, I just need you to fill these out as well and as soon as you are finished, a doctor will be out to see you." I took the papers and walked back to Alice.

"Bella - Alice said, her voice unsteady- I… need to step outside." confusion crossed my face. "I'm sorry, I thought I could do this but I cant, I cant be around blood… it's driving me crazy." she smiled as if she was embarrassed and walked swiftly out the door, leaving me staring stupidly after her.

The paperwork wasn't nearly as bad as I though it was going to be -thirty minutes tops- and so as I was promised, before I could make my way back to my seat "Isabella Swan?" I turned and was asked to follow a handsome doctor behind the big double doors. The doctor was plenty of nice, just like back in New York. It didn't take very long before the questionnaire began. "I have copies of my medical files, if it would make it easier for you" I said while searching in my bag. I handed them to you. He smiled, "Thanks." "So how long have you been detoxed Miss Swan? And - he paused scanning through the papers again- Have you had any sexual partners since the last time you were checked up on?" I thought for a moment and then answered with a grim tone to my voice. "It's been about a year and a half. No, I haven't been with anyone since." I winced as I said the words. That statement made memories of home creep into my mind, things I was trying so hard to forget. While he wrote some notes on my chart, I twiddled my thumbs. He put his pen back in his pocket and smiled. "Well, I just want to check a few things -he snapped on his sterile rubber gloves- and then I'll have a nurse sent in to draw up the blood and we will have you on your way." he smiled a friendly open smile. An eye-crinkling smile, he reminded me so much of Charlie… I gulped and pushed that thought back away.

I watched the clock as I waited for the nurse to show up. _Tick-Tock -ten-fifteen-twenty minutes- Tick-Tock._ Then finally a gentle voice came from behind the bland door to the room, "Can I come in?" I smiled, "Yes, sure." The knob turned and in walked a bulky guy dressed in scrubs. I tried to hold in a laugh. "Hello, Isabella. I'm Eric and I'll be your nurse today." he smiled a warm, open smile and I couldn't help but smile back. He chatted easily with me and took my blood pressure and checked me out some more. He took my blood and kept chattering. He made this seem like it was no big deal and I appreciated it. I felt woozy over and over again as he removed first one vile and then another one of my blood. "Last one" he said in a bright voice and smiled again. I was beginning to like this guy. He finished quickly and I was asked to go out into the waiting area and wait for about 10 minutes to make sure that I was okay. I would have been able to stay less than usual if I wouldn't have stumbled off of the examinee table and everything.

Walking back into the waiting room. I began to wonder why Alice felt crazy around blood. It didn't make sense. And then the way her cold skin felt flashed in my memory and the full plates at every meal. I was lost in thought and hadn't realized that the yellow Porsche was no longer in the parking lot until the nice receptionist woman called me over. "Miss Swan, I have a message for you from the young lady that was here with you earlier today. It says that a Mr. Cullen will be picking you up. The lady told me to tell you that she was terribly sorry, but she had an emergency errand to run." she said with a smile. I nodded and headed outside. Sure enough, there in the corner of the parking lot was a shiny silver Volvo, its driver insanely beautiful… his face was torn with what looked like pain and anger.

Afraid of what might be in store for me, I walked slowly over to the car. Relief washed over his face and a smile slowly crept across my face. I got in and sat down, staring at my feet. I felt his eyes on my face, but I didn't dare look up to see what was hidden deep inside. "How are you?" he asked in his seductive voice. It shattered my concentration, "Fine, and you?" I replied in a faint voice. He smiled and shook his head, "Better now, I missed you, ya know." I bit my lip hiding my smile and just nodded. I risked every bit of control and looked up at his face, it was so gorgeous, it stunned me and I looked away… down to the speedometer. "HOLY COW! Slow down Edward!" I shouted at him, he was going close to 90 miles per hour. "Bella, Calm down. I always drive like this, don't worry. You're safe."

He grabbed my hand and held it in his, rubbing soothing circles into the back of my hand with his thumb. "Please? Slow down… I don't want to become a Volvo pretzel today." I laughed a shaky laugh and watched the speedometer as it slowly dialed down to 55 mph.

I smiled up at him, "Thanks you Edward." he pulled our hands up and kissed the back of my hand gently and continued to rub it. I rested my head back on the seat. I don't remember falling asleep. I was only vaguely aware of anything when I felt myself being laid down. I opened my eyes -shock crossing my face- Edward saw and leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Shhh my love, don't worry. You're home now." I remember smiling and that was about it. I stretched and woke up, the clock read 10:30 a.m. _SHIT!_ I was late for school. I jumped up and threw on the first things my hands touched. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. I made it to my 3rd block class 10 minutes late.

I quickly took my seat and began copying the notes from a classmate. The rest of the day flew by. I skipped lunch so I could catch up on some of my school work and everything. My final class of the day blew by in a breeze and I went back up to my room to shower and call Angel. The shower was same old same old and when I called Angel I was sent to voicemail. _What was up with that?_ I went and sat on my bed and picked up a copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and read for a while. It was about 8 'o clock when Alice showed up again. "Hey Bella, How are you today?" I put the book down, "Good, you?"

She smiled at me and came and sat down next to me. "Sorry I wasn't at school today, we… well we had to take care of something is all." she smiled tightly at me, I noticed that her eyes were darker than usual. _What was with that?_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: new discoveries. . .

**I don't really remember much of what happened that night. But I had obviously fallen asleep. But it wasn't obvious at first. I was scared, I remember that clearly and I was running down an alley way somewhere back home in New York. I was running and behind me I could hear the footsteps of people following me. I looked back and I saw three men following the trail that I was taking and when I turned back around, there were two more men walking toward me. **_**Hey sugar, Why are you running? We just want to have some fun…**_** I could hear one of them calling to me as I was looking for a way out. That's when the shiny silver Volvo came speeding down a darkened alley off the center of the one I was on and spun around to a deadly stop. "GET IN!" it nearly growled at me. Without any hesitation I jumped into the car and then he sped off. I would have known that voice anywhere but I allowed myself a peek at the speedometer and I was immediately screaming at the top of my lungs telling him to slow down. He didn't listen so I reach out to touch his arm but then I felt something cold on my arm… **_**a hand? **_**I thought to myself.**

"**Bella? Bella, wake up. It's okay. It's just a dream, com'on Bella, open your eyes…" I tried to pull myself out of the all too real dream, but to no success. "Is she going to be alright?" I heard Edward ask. I shot up faster than lightning and all the blood rushed from my head and the room spun sickeningly. I put my head between my knees and waited for it to subside but to my luck, it didn't. I got up and ran to the bathroom closing the door and flipping the lid all in the same moment. I laid on the tiled floor in the bathroom for a while and waited for the nausea to pass. Eventually it did and I brushed my teeth and walked out into the room again. **

**Edward lay sprawled out on my bed watching me as I walked into the closet to pick out some clothes. I came back out and walked over to the mini-fridge and got a bottle of water. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice was just a bit too smug for me. "Yeah -I sighed- Sorry about all of that" I said with an awkward smile. He smiled back and walked over to me pulling me into a hug. He was ice cold as usual. "Don't worry about it, Bella." and then he kissed my forehead. I shivered at the unexpected touch. He back away from me carefully and turned away from me and stared out the window. "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" he merely shook his head and walked over and sat on the ledge of the window. "It's not you, it's me Bella. I'm dangerous, too dangerous for you, I don't know how to be around you or how to be with you…" he let his words trail off into the silence. I walked up behind him and hugged him from behind.**

"**I don't understand what you mean… so, you want me to stay away from you? Is that it? Because if it is, then just tell me, don't give me all the damn cryptic clues, Edward." I glared at his reflection and dropped my arms. He turned around and looked at me with humor in his eyes. "You've got quite a temper?" he raised one of his eyebrows. I continued to glower at him, "NO, I just don't like cryptic clues like this. Either you want to or you don't want to be with me. What is it?" I sat next to him and put my face in my hands. We sat in silence for a long time. **

"**Bella, you don't understand. I'm no good for you, once you get that you will realize just how dangerous I am to you." I looked up at him, "And lets say for arguments sake, that… that I don't care if you are dangerous. What if I want you no matter what. The good and bad of you. Then would you explain to me what you mean?" he chuckled darkly, "No, probably not." and with that he got up and walked out of my room. I sat there, stunned. I got tired of sitting there alone letting my mind run wild and thinking about things I just wanted to let go in one ear and out of the other.**

**I decided to take a walk. Walking outside into the warm air did help clear my mind. I went to the main building to check my mail. It had been a while since I had last done it. There were a few things there and I quickly stuffed them into my bag and went out towards the lake. I sat under a shady tree and shuffled through my bag. There were some stuff from my mom. Pictures of her and Phil at Disney Land for their 4 year anniversary. My mother was so careful when I was living with her, except for her minor projects that lasted for only a few weeks at most. But Phil made her happy, and so I was happy for her. Then I got excited because there was one from Angel. I sat up straight and ripped the envelope open.**

_**My Dearest Isabella,**_

_**How are you dear? I hope all things are going well for you. Sorry I didn't call you but I felt that it would be more interesting if I did it this way. I know how much you hate simple things and everything. Everyone here is doing just fine, so please don't flip out, hon. Anyways, I'm writing because me and the gang are going to come up and over to visit you (lol). By gang I mean Roger and Mimi, Me and Collins, and Mark. Joanne and Maureen are out on a "vacation" with each other. So I guess that that is a good enough reason for them not to be here. I'm bringing pictures of Roger and Mimi's wedding. It was beautiful in its own kind of ways. I wont tell you the exact date of my arrival. I'll get directions. Love Angel oxox **_

I was practically gushing with excitement by the time I finished reading this. I realized that I was crying… ha-ha how dumb of me. But I couldn't help it. My best friends were coming to see me - me of all people. How could they send a letter? Although it was clever, now I knew they were coming but I had no way of knowing exactly when…

I got up and started to walk back to my dorm. I was tired of being outside and I figured I would do some research about Edward and Alice, to see if there was some terrible disease that they had that I couldn't know about. I walked into the room, and to no surprise, Alice wasn't there. Her and Jasper seemed very serious. I laughed to myself. Of course, who couldn't be serious about each other when they were so beautiful. I sat on my bed and pulled out my laptop and went to my favorite search engine. I typed in the symptoms (or whatever you wanted to call them) into the search bar and let it do its work. There were a lot of sites that came up, but I quickly grew tired of it and shut it down. Then there was a knock at my door. I jumped up to answer it but before I could even pull the door open all the way Angel had me in a bear hug. "GIRLFRIEND! How are you? Oh my gosh I cannot believe it's you. In the flesh!!" "I know!!" we stood there hugging and shouting. I moved along the line hugging everyone, especially Mimi. I forgot how much I missed her. It was a shame at how long it had been since I'd seen them all last. "How are you guys? How was your trip?"

We all started laughing and skipped the traditional greetings and catching up and quickly fell into memories of the good old days and everything else. They admired my room and everything about it. I don't remember what time it was, but Alice came gliding through the door, twirling with Jasper in hand and Edward following behind them. I jumped up and walked to him. He smiled and caressed my face "How are you love?" I smiled, "Good, and you?" he smiled my favorite crooked smile and leaned down to give my a quick peck on the lips. I heard people clearing their throats but I really didn't care. He pulled away and I smiled, blushing the whole time. He took my hand, "Are you going to introduce us to your friends?" I heard Roger ask. "Of course, this is Alice and Jasper -I waved a hand toward them and they smiled and greeted them- and this is Edward -I blushed and looked up at him-" "Hello. I've heard so much of you. You must be Angel -he walked over toward Angel and took her hand- Bella talks so fondly of you all." he smiled shaking hands with the rest of them, getting to know their names. They hung around and we all chattered happily, but then they insisted that it was getting late and that they would see me tomorrow. I waved goodbyes to them all and closed the door sliding to the floor. Across the room Edward was watching me. "How are you feeling?" "Fine -I lied- I'm just a little hungry is all. Do you think they will deliver a pizza to the dorm?" I asked dismissively and he reached into the mini fridge and put something into the microwave. "No need -he took the phone from me and hung it up- I brought you dinner, love." I smiled and it did smell delightful. I ate quietly while Edward flicked through the CD's in our radio. 

"So, what do you want to do tonight? It's spring break and I don't think you want to stay in the dorm all the time." I thought for a moment, "Well I was thinking of going to visit my dad for a couple of days and everything. Visit some old family friends. You can come along if you would like?" I offered. He seemed to be thinking hard about this. "I think I will, it will give me a chance to visit Carlisle and Esme as well." I laughed a little laugh, "Well, I think that sounds like a plan. We can leave tomorrow. My friends are headed back to Forks to visit my dad anyways…" he smiled and walked over to my bed and sat down next to me, moving the plate and everything out of the way. I scooted over towards the wall and made room for him. He tucked his arm behind my back and I cuddled up into his chest. "I Love you" he whispered into my ear. I smiled "I know. I love you too." I began to hum, it sounded so much like a lullaby. But I couldn't relate to the notes that he was singing. All I remember was him pulling a blanket gently over me and then I succumbed to my droopy eye lids and dreamt peacefully that night.

The dull morning light shown through the window and I stretched my arms out, feeling something cold beneath them. Then I heard a _thud_ as something hit the floor. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I shook my head sleepily and got up and went into the bathroom. I came back and Edward was still laying on my bed -he looked different- I pushed that thought into the corner of my mind as I walked closer and stepped into the closet. I came out a few minutes later dressed in a pair of old sweats and an old t-shirt. I looked out the window as I pulled my hair up into an untidy bun. I walked over to Edward and sat down at the foot of the bed. His pale ivory skin seemed to glow in the dark. "Are you asleep?" I asked, watching him. "Hmm…?" he said as he opened his eyes reluctantly. "I guess not…" I said backing away, not consciously realizing that I was moving closer to him. "No, I'm awake… I'm not tired." he let his answer fade into the darkness. I glanced at the clock, 6:30 a.m., no reason to go back to sleep. As if I could do that anyways. "How long did you sleep?" I asked pushing the subject a little because he now had deep, dark circles under his eyes.

"So what are we doing today?" he asked, completely ignoring my previous question. I glowered at him and shrugged. "In a few hours I might -or we could- head out to Forks for the week. I was planning on visiting my father soon…" The weeks when I'm with Edward just seem to literally fly by. It was already spring break, and I have absolutely nothing better to do than hang out with my father, who I cannot really lie. I did miss him, him and my mother, dearly. "Hmm… -he paused- Sounds good to me." he finished shrugging. I nodded, "So what will you do there, when we aren't together?" I asked cautiously. Maybe I didn't want to know. Abruptly his eyes went black and his face changed and it scared me. I reached out to touch his hand and he shot up out of the bed and over onto Alice's. "Edward -I swallowed- what's wrong?" I tried to stay calm, but I started to move closer to him. "No, Bella, stay where you are please." he swallowed convulsively and flexed his jaw for a few moments. I saw his hands clench and unclench into fists, I waited. "Just give me a few more minutes, please?" he asked in a strained voice. I sat back, "What's wrong?" I asked, nearly choking back the tears I felt coming on. I glanced around me frantically for something that might have upset him and found nothing. "I should go-" I put my hand on his leg, "Please stay?" his face and eyes softened and he spoke with urgency. "I'm no good for you, but, I cannot seem to stay away from you. When I'm away, it makes me nervous… and… I miss you. So yes, I will stay. If that's what you want." he gestured with his hand for me to come over, but I didn't move an inch. Then I felt the tears run down my face. "Don't cry, Bella. Look… I'm here, your wish is my command!" he said and pretended to have shackles on. We both burst into hysterics.

The air was the warmest it had been in weeks although it was cloudy. I couldn't help but be happy. "You're quite chipper today." Edward said laughing and grabbing my hand. "It's warmer today, I love the heat." I said staring out the window of his Volvo. We were alone. Jasper and Alice took her Porsche. Rosalie and Emmett took his jeep (although it wasn't something you'd think to drive around for everyday uses)/ but I wasn't complaining, I loved being with Edward. He smiled my favorite smile and turned off the highway. "Can we stop at the gas station up ahead?" he nodded and spun around into the drive. "One of these days you are going to turn us into a Volvo pretzel." I exclaimed holding my chest to keep my heart from pounding through. He chuckled, "Don't worry, I'm the best driver. You will never, ever, be a Volvo pretzel on my watch" he said parking near the back. I got out of the car and looked for a signal.

"Hey, dad! How are you doing?" Charlie sounded exhausted, so I tried to make it quick. "You'll never guess what! I'm on my way to Forks now for spring break with some friends -I paused listening to him- Uh… Sure dad. I'll see about it, but they are going to be visiting with other people as well. But hey, I will call you back as soon as I can. Love you too." we said our goodbyes and I made my way back to the car. "So how is your father?" Edward asked politely, "Ecstatic now that I'm coming home for a little while." I said with a sigh. "You miss him a lot…" I felt a blush, "Yeah, I do. But this will solve some of it -I paused- But how would you know? I mean I never really talk about them with you… or anyone." he smirked at me, "Anyone with eyes could see this Bella, and - he laughed- you talk in your sleep. You miss your mom, Renee and all your friends back home. The wind and rain makes you restless and sometimes it takes you back to nightmarish times. Times you wont talk about with me, but I wont bring them up until you're ready." I put my hands up to my face in embarrassment. He reached his hand up and caressed my cheek and I blushed again, "Don't be ashamed" he murmured. "Well, it's too late, you've already heard -I paused- what else did you hear?" I asked, irritated now. He smirked at me again, "Well you said you loved me, and I already knew it. But then, I'm guessing you've had dreams about you being my wife -he chuckled- and well yeah…" he let it drop, and laughed at the shock that played across my face. "What?!" I practically screamed in horror. He stopped laughing and grabbed my hand, I tried to pull away. He pulled over to the side of the road and turned the car off. "Bella, please don't be ashamed. I think it's cute and very sweet of you. But not to put gas on the fire, but I don't think that we could ever get married." I looked away, feeling the tears run down my cheeks. He sighed and pulled back onto the road. He never let my hand go. I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep until we reached the city limits of Forks, Washington.

We pulled in front of Charlie's house and I saw the curtains move. I got out the car and grabbed my bags (with Edward's help) and walked up to the door. "Are you sure about me, Bella?" I nodded to him and just as I was about to knock when the door disappeared and I was taken up into a big bear hug. He was smiling from ear to ear, "Boy, you haven't changed a bit!" Charlie exclaimed in my ear. I laughed at him and smiled, "Neither have you dad…" I glanced up at Edward at the same time my father did. "And this -I gestured toward Edward- this is… this…-" Edward chuckled softly, "I'm Edward Cullen, Chief Swan." he shook Charlie's hand. I blushed and watched Charlie's face. "Are you two dating or something? I've never seen her turn that red since she fell and got stuck-" horror struck my face, "YES! Yes we are dating dad, Phew -I wiped my forehead- long drive, aren't you going to invite us in dad?" I asked laughing nervously.

We walked inside, "So, you're Dr. Cullen's boy?" Charlie asked. "Yes sir…" Edward answered setting my bags down. I grabbed them up and headed up the stairs. I could hear them talking about me downstairs but I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. I came back down slowly, not sure if I wanted to walk into an awkward conversation. Edward smiled up at me and walked to his side, he took my hand and squeezed it gently. "So…" I let it die off into the silence. "I was just telling Edward here, how he better take good care of you. I'd hate to have to -he eyed his gun deviously- take matters into my own hands. Edward laughed and I stared embarrassingly at my father. "Okay, that's enough threats for one day. Are we going to stand here all day?" Charlie smiled awkwardly and led us to the living room. Edward sat in the only chair, forcing me to sit with Charlie. I got up and decided that I would make dinner. I overheard Charlie telling stories about my clumsy childhood while the mariners played on the television. After a while I got tired of the laughter at my expense and turned on some music while I finished up dinner. "Dinner's ready" I announced moments later as I finished touching up the food. Charlie walked into the small yellow kitchen. I noticed that it was the same yellow that my mother had painted it so many years ago. "Edward, are you staying for dinner as well?" I glanced at him anxiously as I began to fix Charlie's plate. "Sure, Chief Swan-" Charlie interrupted, "Call me Charlie…" Edward nodded, "Charlie… I'd love to, as long as you insist". Edward took a seat next to Charlie and I quickly brought their plates to the table. I made my plate and joined them. We ate in silence for a while and then Charlie spoke. "So…-he paused awkwardly- how long have you two been dating?" I looked down at my plate and shoved the food around. "About 4 months, Charlie." Edward replied happily. I saw Charlie nod. I looked up to study Charlie's face when a knock came at the front door.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Coming!" Charlie shouted out to the door. Edward grimaced slightly and I studied his face. I got up and started clearing the table. Edward got up and dumped his full plate into the trash can. He went to the sink then and began washing the dishes. I started to dry and put them away. We did this for a while, until Charlie came into the room with a man in a wheel chair and a young boy following close behind. "Bella, you remember Billy Black? And his son, Jacob, don't you?" I studied their faces for a moment.

Billy was an elderly man -in his mid 50's I guessed- with worry lines and wisdom in his eyes. As for the boy, his face had childish curves and dimensions. But he carried the same wisdom in his face just like his father. He seemed like a very happy person. "I'm sorry, but I don't quite remember you both." I threw in a friendly smile. "But it's nice to meet you -I paused- again." I watched as Billy assessed me, I suddenly grew self-conscious. That's when Edward turned around, and Billy's face grew black with fury. I glanced up at Edward and the emotion in his face was like a mirror of Billy's. Edward's eyes studied Billy for a moment before changing from a warm liquid topaz to a deep coal black. 

"We didn't realize you had company. We will come back-" Edward grabbed my hand, "Not necessary, we were just on our way. Nice to meet you Charlie-" I smiled sheepishly, fear the dominant emotion on my face, "See you tomorrow Charlie" I said hugging Charlie awkwardly and waved goodbye to Billy and Jacob.

I followed Edward out the door and out to his car. I had to run to keep up with him. "What's wrong?" I asked breathlessly while I was getting into his care. "Don't worry about it, how do you feel about seeing Carlisle and Esme again?" he asked as he sped down my street and out of the city limits. I smiled into the darkness. I had always liked his parents. They were very nice and I had had the best time the last time we had dinner together. They were friendly and warm, insanely beautiful…just like the rest of them. "Sure…" I said messing with the radio and settled on some station that was playing my favorite band, MUSE. Edward cocked his eyebrow up, "Debussy to -he dug through a compartment and held up a CD case- this?" he had their latest album. I bit my lip and nodded, "What's so funny?" he sounded like he was lost in thought. "Hmm…?" he replied as he made a sharp turn down a hidden road.

The drive seemed to take forever. It was almost as if the darkness would never end. Then it, we turned around a small curve and it hit me. It was like a small -or a pond- in the dark, with the pools of light spilling from the windows of the house. I couldn't even imagine how this would look in the daytime. From what I could see, the house was a grand 3-stories and there were beautiful fixtures all over the yard and house. I couldn't make out what they were, I hadn't realized we had come to a stop until Edward cleared his throat. I looked for him in the car but realized he was holding the door open for me. I got out hesitantly, biting my bottom lip. I was nervous, but being here with Edward seemed to make it a little better.

"Bella? Bella, Are you okay?" Edward asked taking my face between his icy hands. I nodded and patted his hand -still staring out into the darkness at the house- he kept mine and lead my up the stairs of the porch. "Bella-Edward! You've finally made it." Carlisle greeted us with a friendly smile. I smiled back as he ushered us into the house. It was even more beautiful inside than outside. Everything on the inside was so bright from the white plush carpet to the extravagant jade walls. The furniture was timeless and the paintings priceless. "What a lovely home you have!" I said in an awed voice. "Thank you, dear." Esme replied as she walked up behind Carlisle and rested her round on his shoulder. He patted her hand and smiled at her then back to me.

"Edward -he said- Rosalie and Emmett went off to the cottage for the week. Alice and Jasper should be here sometime tomorrow or the next day." Edward nodded and smiled down at me. I felt my heart begin to race so I looked away and out of the corner of my eye I saw the ivory colored grand piano. "Is this yours?" I asked Esme. "Oh, goodness NO! Hon, didn't Edward tell you?" We both stared up at him as he smiled down at me. "Let me show you". He walked over to the piano and sat down. He stroked his long ivory fingers across the keys and the room was filled with a fast tempo that gradually slowed into that intriguing lullaby he was always humming. It sowed some and then sped up slightly, weaving in and out of the intricate notes of the different melodies as the intertwined together.

I felt my jaw drop open but I couldn't say anything. I stared, awed into silence. I forced my mouth closed as the lullaby came to an end. He smiled up at me. "You inspired that one." he said as he walked toward me. I held my hands out and he took them and pulled me into a hug. "That…was amazing. You wrote that…for me?" u asked astonishment filled my face and voice. He just nodded and kissed my forehead.

"Edward, why don't you show Bella around? I'm sure she is dying to see the rest of the house." Carlisle said with another friendly smile. "If you don't mind…" I looked up at Edward and he smiled a crooked smile. We walked up the grand staircase -it reminded me of the one that was mentioned in Gone with the Wind- and down a huge hallway. "Down here there is Carlisle's study, Esme's office, Alice's design room and the library…" he led me up another flight of stairs. "Here are Esme and Carlisle's bedroom, Jasper's art studio, and at the very end is Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom" -interrupted him- "Wow, your house makes mine look like a cardboard box left out in the rain to rot away." I said with a shaky cough as I was lead up _another_ flight of stairs. "Over there -he pointed to a room at the end of the hall- that's Alice and Jasper's bedroom" I smiled. "And over here -he led me down the right side of the dim hallway- This is my room." I stared at the door for a few minutes and the I twisted the knob and swung it open.

His room was beautiful and so simple. He had golden carpet with matching tapestries. I walked into his room slowly, observing everything my eyes laid on. He had a bookshelf filled with nothing but timeless classics. Most of which I hadn't even heard of. In a corner was a high-tech CD player and the entire wall behind it was completely filled with CD's. they ranged from classical to heavy metals. I turned back around and found him laying across a humongous bed. I worked over to him slowly and stopped out the foot of the bed leaning down on the bed frame. He put the book down and watched me. "So _this_ is your room?" I asked, flabbergasted. He chuckled and flipped himself to the bottom of the bed. He propped himself up on his elbows. "Yep, this is my room. How do you like it?" he smiled and kissed me softly on the lips. I just nodded and climbed up next to him. "What are you thinking?" he asked in a strained voice.

"Nothing…" I lied. I didn't know how he would truly react if I revealed my trued thoughts and feelings. He nodded, almost as if he could see though what I was saying. He rolled over to face me and traced circles on my cheek. I sighed, "What are you thinking?" I asked closing my eyes. "I was thinking about how beautiful you are, actually." he said laughing to himself, "No, honestly, I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow." I opened my eyes. "What _are_ you going to do?" I asked as I sat up and took my shoes off. I laid back down and rolled to face him. "Well, I planned on hanging out with Jasper for a while if they make it here… and then if that fails, I'll just hang around the house." I was beginning to doze off. "Bella, are you asleep, love?" I head him but couldn't find my voice. "Hmm…?" is all I could manage.

My dreams that night were off. I dreamt that I was walking in the woods, but no matter how fast I walked I couldn't break free of the darkness. I woke up with a jolt as I walked off a cliff. I shot up with a gasp and I immediately felt Edward's cool hands on my face. He brought me into a hug and rubbed soothing circles into my back. There was a light knock on the door and I quickly buried my face into his chest. "I'm sorry" I mumbled as the door opened. "Edward? Bella? Is everything okay?" I saw Edward reach over and flick a light on. "Everything is okay, she just had a nightmare." he kissed my forehead and I watched as Carlisle walked out shutting the door back behind him. I was so embarrassed, "The bathroom is…?" I asked sheepishly. He told me hot to there and I went to splash water on my face. It was relaxing to have something cool and refreshing. I sat in there for a few minutes then headed back. I knocked on the door -feeling out of place if I didn't- and waited. "You can come in…" I paused, took a deep breath, and walking in. Edward stood by the glass wall -I hadn't noticed this earlier- and was staring outside. In the darkness, the wall was like a canvas of everything outside. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice was unsure and torn once again. "Yeah -I paused, walking to sit on the bed- I'm sorry about earlier. Sorry for waking you and Carlisle." he laughed a dark laugh and turned around to walk toward me. "You didn't wake us, Carlisle was just getting ready for work and I -he paused- I was reading." I smiled weakly and jumped further back onto the bed.

"Bella -he said climbing onto the bed as well- I don't know how to be close to you. I'm just afraid that I'll hurt you…" he let it trail off. I hated how he was always so cryptic with me. It was kind of aggravating because I had absolutely no idea as to what he was talking about. "You do realize I have absolutely no clue to what you are talking about right?" I asked in an aggravated tone. I thought I could hear him smiling. "Yes, I do know. I always talk to much when I'm with you. But I don't know… it's complicated." he sighed and I stared at him. "I just wish I could figure out what you are. Why you say that you are so dangerous…" I stretched a little and he answered, "I really wish you wouldn't. it's better if you don't know anymore about me." his voice had turned acidic with the anger in his words. "Is it not enough?"

"Is what not enough?" I asked, irritated now. "To just be with the parts of me that you know about, rather than, the part -he paused- that you don't know." I sat up and glowered at him. "I have no idea what you mean. Like usually you speak so cryptically and yet I don't and never will know, will I? It's like every time you talk to me you are trying to say goodbye." he chuckled and pulled my face down towards his, "You've got quite a bit of a temper -he paused again- an untamed on." I got up from the bed and went and laid on the couch. "Goodnight, Edward!" I said through clenched teeth. I closed my eyes and I felt someone near me. "Don't be mad at me, Bella. I'm trying to do what's right, but, its more difficult for me and…well… you make it harder than I think it should be…" I smiled a little and he leaned down and kissed me. I gave in, "Come back to bed with me?" I didn't get a chance to really answer him, when, he began to lift me up off the couch and into his arms.

"Bella, my love, time to wake up…" I heard Edward almost coo to me through my sleep-filled ears. Then I felt his cool lips on my neck-they lingered there for a moment- and then they moved up my jaw and found my lips. "Mm…" I said as I stretched out. My muscles were stiff. "Morning" I said, wiping my eyes and squinting into the brightly, sunlit room. There was a soft knock at the door. "Come in." Edward said quietly.

Alice can through the door with Jasper close behind her. "HEY BELLA! -she exclaimed when I sat up- I didn't know you stayed…" I got up off the bed and she hugged me. She squeezed tighter than usual and I just laughed. "How are you, Alice?" she beamed a huge smile and the sunlight twinkled off her sparkly white teeth. "Good, as always." We chatted briefly until she down to business.

"Edward, Carlisle wants to leave with the hour so that we will be back before this evening." she looked over and winked at me. Edward nodded as he got off his bed and pushed both Alice and Jasper out of his room. He tossed me a pair of keys and I stared at them. "What? NO-" he sighed, "Bella, yes. Yes you can, and I don't mind. What's mine is yours." he said with my favorite smile again. I threw my arms around him and he suddenly went rigid. I notice the purple circles under his eyes were worse than I had ever seen. I backed away and he smiled a tight smile at me. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude…" and he walked out of the room. I stood there like an idiot and I finally gave up and went downstairs. It was even more beautiful in the daylight. I stood mesmerized by the sight. I stood near the window and watched as the sun played across everything that could hold a reflection. I walked into the kitchen where I heard the news going and people talking amongst themselves. I swallowed and walked into the room. "Can someone help me find the garage?" I asked in the most friendly tone I could manage.

Alice laughed her bell-like laugh and led me out a side door in the kitchen that led out to a huge garage. It was dark in there. She turned a switch and three fluorescent lights came on illuminating the room. "HOLY CROW!" I basically yelled. She chuckled and grabbed my hand and led me down the isle of cars. "Here you go… -she stopped in front of a very, very expensive looking car- _The Guardian. _Edward said he preferred you to drive this. Here -she took the keys from me- let me show you how to work this." I stood there but couldn't form one coherent sentence. She slid into the passenger seat and then, I slid into the driver seat. "Wow…" I said, "I cant… I mean… geesh, this car is over the top." she shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Carlisle -she paused- well really no one minds." she said with a smile.

I watched Alice as I pulled out from their massive garage. It didn't take me as long as I thought it would to find the highway again. This car was _**fast**_, but it seemed durable enough. It took me long than I expected to get back because I was afraid of the speed in this car.

When I pulled up near Charlie's house, the police cruiser was in the driveway. I got out and walked in the door. "Dad?" I called out and I heard the television on in the living room. "In here" he called back. "Hey Dad, What's up?" I asked as I walked in and sat down. He smile a wide, happy smile. It made the skin near his eyes crinkle up. "Not too bad, Bells, not bad. Just getting up actually. How's about you?" he turned the television off. "Same." I said smiling. We talked for a good while before I excused myself to go take a shower. 

The water felt amazing combine with the sense of home that I felt. The hot water began to run out after a while, so I called it quits. I dressed quickly in a pair of jeans and my favorite deep navy tank shirt, accompanied by my favorite red blouse. My hair was another story, so I just pulled it up into a messy bun. I went back to my room it hadn't changed much since the last time that I was here. My toddler bed had been exchanged for a full sized bed and a desk was added as I grew older. I walked over to my purse and rummaged for some jewelry then headed back downstairs.

"Bells, what do you want to eat? Or… -he paused- have you already eaten?" he watched my face. "Whatever you're having is good with me." I said staring out the window. My cell phone vibrated across the table, I picked it up. Text message from Edward:

_**Miss you already. Cant wait until**_

_**I see your face later. I love you**_

_**Edward **_

My heart nearly melted after I finished reading it.

_**Awe, I miss you too. Cant wait until**_

_**Later. I love you more! P.s. why did **_

_**You leave in such a hurry this a.m.?**_

I smiled up at Charlie who stood in front of the stove. "Important?" I laughed, "Yeah he was." I simply replied. He cocked an eyebrow, "Edward?" I nodded and continued to stare off and out the window. My cell went off again. "Dad, what do you plan on doing today?" he thought for a second, "I'm going down to La Push today, why?" I smiled a little, "Well -I paused- I just wanted to hang out with you is all." he smiled his eye crinkling smile. "I'd like that a lot." we laughed together and he turned back to the stove.

_**Nonsense! You cant possibly love me more.**_

_**You compare me to one of the many trees and**_

_**Yet when I look at anything, I see you. You**_

_**Are more extraordinary than you see yourself**_

_**For, Bella. What are you doing today? I cant**_

_**Really explain earlier, Late though. Love you**_

_**Edward.**_

I laughed to myself and saw Charlie glance my way…

_**Okay. Later then. I want all the details though**_

_**Later… going down to La Push with Charlie. **_

_**Talk later, Bella 3**_

Charlie brought the food to the table. Breakfast with him was a silent event. I could live with that. The food was okay, it wasn't the best, but it's the thought that counts. "So, I was thinking we could have lunch at Billy's today. You and Jacob could go down to first beach like in the old days." I bit my lip and blushed -embarrassed of course- "Sure, dad. That sounds great." I lied, but added a smile to help with the facade.

After breakfast I helped Charlie clean the dishes and waited downstairs for him to get ready. He came down a little while later. I grabbed my purse and keys and walked out behind Charlie. I locked the door and I heard Charlie let out a low whistle. "Wow, some car…" he said smiling and running his hand down the paint job. I shrugged, "I guess, Edward lent it to me."

The drive to La Push wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Charlie was quiet as usual and the distance was pretty short. I heard the ringer go off on my phone but I ignored it. "Aren't you going to get that?" Charlie asked. "Chief Swan, taking a call while driving…? Geesh…" I said in a fake horrified voice. We laughed again and then lapsed back into silence soon after. "So how's about this Edward guy? He seems…nice. He sure adores you, nice respectable family as well. How do you feel about him?" I shot a glance at him. "Really dad? I mean I adore him too, well a little more than adore… but yeah…" I sighed, "He's amazing." I heard Charlie sigh. "Just be careful, Bells, you're still my little girl and I'd hate to have to use -he paused- well, just be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt. Guys-" I laughed, "Will be guys. Yes I know dad, and… I promise to be careful. If I get hurt, it will be on my and I'll just learn from it." I tossed a smile his way. "Okay which house is it again?" he pointed to this small red barn type of house. I mouthed the word "wow" and pulled up into the driveway next to a red car. I saw Billy and Jacob waiting out on the porch

"Hi Bella!" I heard Jacob say. "Charlie, Bella" Billy said as we walked up to the door. "How you doing buddy?" Charlie asked as he wheeled Billy back into the house. I followed, with Jacob close behind. There were family pictures lining the far back wall near the kitchen area. The house -I noticed- was smaller than a usual house, but still cozy. "Bells, why don't you and Jake go down to the beach. Maybe he could show you around and catch up on the times. You guys used to play all the time when you were younger." I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure dad." Billy agreed and I heard Jacob groan. I had to laugh because he seemed like it was such a bad idea. "I promise I wont bite" I offered as we walked outside and stood in the yard. He laughed. It was warm and friendly. "So how old are you, anyway?" I asked following him to the red car. "Nice ride. I'm 16 and you?" I laughed, "Sorry, I'm 17 and thanks." I smiled as I got into the car. He smiled too, "yeah I get that a lot. I look a lot older than what I really am. I got to school on the res. How's about you?" I looked at him, "I go to an art and dance school in Seattle." he smiled and stared out the windshield. "Oh, I see, you're one of those uptight ballerina types…" he said. I laughed and became irritated, "Real smooth, but no, I'm not really _uptight_." We sat in silence for a while, and then he started up the engine and drove down the road. I remembered dinner from last night and I let my mind wander.

"Hey, Why did your dad like freak out last night?" I asked cautiously after a while. "Oh you noticed?" he said in a tight voice, "Well yeah, sure. Who didn't?" he sighed. "People on the reservation -he paused- don't really like the Cullen family much." he finished. "Why not?" he parked the car and turned the engine off. "It's just that… well the Cullen's aren't your ordinary family. They have a long history. But I think It's mostly superstitions and old age." we both laughed. "Will you tell me about it?" I turned around to face him and tucked my legs up to my chest. I watched him with curious probing eyes. He thought about it for a while, "It's really like a stupid scary story they tell us to keep us in check I think. The Quileute tribal members -our elders- ran into them about a century ago. We caught them hunting on our land. Hey -he paused- did you know that the Quileute's are said to descend from wolves? Pretty cool, huh? -I shook my head and interrupted- "You said feeding, what exactly do you mean?" he smiled, "Well the elders have said that the Cullen family were different from the others. Or at least that's what they told them. They said that they didn't want to hurt the humans, that they had found other ways to survive. They said they only drank from the animals…" his voice turn into a creepy whisper. I felt the goose bumps rising on my arms.

He smiled a devious smile and his face grew serious. "Why does it matter?" I thought for a moment, "It doesn't matter, I was just wondering. And besides, if we didn't do this, we'd have to be out in the rain…" I looked up at the sky. "Do you not want me here?" I asked looking for all of the possible exits. He laughed, "No, I was just wondering. I don't mind you being here." I laughed with him. "So tell me, what exactly _are _the Cullen's?" I asked in a quiet voice. I felt my stomach roll and perform summersaults. My hands were shaking so I crushed them into my ribs to hold them steady, and out of Jacob's view. "They're bloodsuckers… leeches…" I felt the confusion lighten my face, "They're _**vampires**_." he said. 

I felt my world crash down around me and Suddenly everything Edward had been telling me was making sense. How he was dangerous. I immediately felt sick to my stomach, but then I basically had an epiphany. I didn't care what Edward was. I knew I was in love with him and without him, I don't know what would happen. But then fear hit me like a blow to my chest. "Jake, Can you take us back to your house?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: press pause on humanity. . .

A/N: I am aware that this particular chapter has come up completely underlined. I am very sorry for this if it is an issue for you. Please don't let this be a problem, I am currently trying to fix it, but please keep reading. I'm working on chapter 7 now, it should be up before the end of this week… Thanks so much. ~Clarissa~

I dropped Charlie off at home and went back into town for the pizza. I stopped in the parking lot and checked my phone. Missed call from Angel and the gang, then there was another text from Edward. I ignored it and started to dial Edward's number. He picked up on the second ring…

**Edward: "Bella?" -relief saturating his voice-**

**Bella: "Yeah, what are you doing?"**

**Edward: "Um… I was just reading. Why? What's the matter love?"**

**Bella: "I think… I think we should talk. Can you pick me up later?" -I heard him sigh-**

**Edward: "I guess we do. I'll be there when you get home."**

**Bella: "Okay… but wait… how did you know-"**

**Edward: "Don't worry, I'll be there…"**

The call was ended.

I sighed and got out of the car. The pizzas weren't ready so I sat and let my mind wander for a few minutes. I thought it was weird how he knew that I wasn't at home. But then again I did go down to La Push. Wow. How dumb of me, he was just saying. Geesh, this new knowledge of him had my nerves on end and my imagination speeding around everything. By the time I got back out to the car, the rain was down to a sprinkle.

I pulled up in front of Charlie's house expecting to see Edward's Volvo, but all that I found was Charlie's police cruiser. I heard sports blaring when I walked into the house. "Dad?" I called walking around the corner. "Oh…" Edward sat, always a perfect statue of Adonis, net to my father, engrossed in the game that was on. I smiled and he looked up at me smiling too. I continued walking, trying not to make a bigger fool of myself. I felt someone behind me. "Edward…" I said as he pressed his cool, hard lips to mine. He was very cautious, I twined my arms around his neck. He sighed and unwrapped them. "Can we go back to your house?" I asked, grabbing his hand. We walked out into the living room and out of the corner of my eye I saw Charlie watching us. "Dinners on the counter. I'm going back to Edward's tonight." he nodded, "Call me when you get there. I don't you two kids stuck out in the big storm that's heading our way." we nodded and left.

Edward kissed me again when we were barely out of the door. Kissing him made me breathless and always yearning for more. He pulled back and I groaned keeping my eyes closed. His breathing was coming just as short and ragged as mine. It began to pour down rain, I grabbed his hand and ran ahead into the yard. He followed me and we stopped in the middle of Charlie's front yard. "I don't care!" I said over the rain. I looked up at his face for some sign that he had heard what I had said. "I love you, and I've thought about it and it doesn't matter…" I put my hands on either side of his face and stared into his eyes. He mirrored my action and brought his face closer to mine. His lips touched mine so softly, and then grew more and more passionate. I pressed myself closer to him, becoming a mold to his body. He twined his hands in my hair and I wrapped mine around his neck.

I pulled back and studied his face, "Say something… please?" he laughed. "You look beautiful in the rain…" I laughed with him. We were dripping wet and yet, he still managed to look like a runway model. I grew jealous, but changed my track of mind as I ran back to the car. I jumped in the backseat and Edward joined me through the other side.

"How much did he tell you?" he asked casually. "Enough. I knew something was different, I just couldn't put my finger on it." he grabbed my hand and started to play with my fingers. "It just made sense. The days of school you missed when it was sunny, the way your eyes always change colors with your mood… although I'm still very curious as to why this is so…" I let my voice trail off. "And so when he was telling you this, you immediately thought of me?" his voice sounded hurt. I thought for a moment, "No, I didn't think of you. He mentioned your family's name." he nodded, "So what do you think of me now? Of us?" he said cautiously, still playing with my fingers. I thought for a moment, "I didn't really know, at first. I thought of comic book characters and everything. Then once I went and talked to Jacob, I found out that I was just being paranoid." he nodded, "So, what's your conclusion now, Miss Swan?" I laughed, "I told you already that it didn't matter, that I didn't care. I love you, Edward." he smiled slightly, "That's nice to know, but I'm talking about me what. What is your final conclusion about me?" I looked out the window and thought long and hard about how to phrase it.

"I don't know, Jacob said that you guys were -I lowered my voice into a silent whisper- vampires. But I don't know what to say about that. It seems so surreal." I heard Edward sigh and squeeze my hand. "So… -he paused- if it were true, would it matter then?" I shook my head and leaned my head against his shoulder. I felt him shrug me off, I sat there. Stunned, I felt my face burn with anger. "What's the matter with you? I thought that's what you wanted…" I said, getting annoyed by the silence he gave me. "I do want it, but I don't. I don't want to put you in danger all of the time. I just want you to be safe. You need to be with someone who, when they are with you, they aren't constantly being tempted to kill you. I hate myself because, I'm in love with you Bella, and I'm afraid that I will kill you…" I hugged him. I couldn't say anything. I just felt his pain and I didn't like to see him hurting. "Edward, we can make this work… don't worry about me. If something should happen-" he shook his head and squeezed me a little too tight, "Nothing. Nothing will happen to you, and if it did… I couldn't and wouldn't forgive myself." I sighed, "I cant argue with you over this, can I?" he shook his head. I reached up and touched my lips to his. I sighed and climbed over the seat and Edward followed. "Where to?" I smiled, "To your house?" he nodded and started the car up.

He drove faster than I was used to -beings that I drove myself around all day- but he never swayed an inch out of line on the roads, despite the bad weather. We got back to his house in record time. I got out the car and began to make a run for the house. I was picked up in his arms halfway there and carried the rest of the way. We came in the house through the garage and into the kitchen. He set me down on a chair and I smiled. I got up and walked over to him wrapping my arms around his waist. He turned around and lifted me up onto the counter. "Mm… so what are we going to do now?" I asked, studying his face again. He shrugged, "Whatever you want to do…" I thought for a moment and then my stomach growled. I blushed and looked away. "Dinnertime?" he laughed and I nodded. "Is there any way that I can get some dry-" I began and Alice was right there at my arm, "Clothes? Why of course, Bella, Come with me…" she tugged on my arm and I looked at Edward but he was busy in the refrigerator. I followed her out of the kitchen.

She led me into this huge closet, the size of my whole upstairs at Charlie's house. "Wow, this is like a shopping mall…" I kept walking back further, and came to a mirror. "Here -she tossed a white dress bag at me and some stringy stuff- put these on." I realized shortly after that the stringy stuff were undergarments. "Alice-" she held up her finger. I gave up and did as I was told. The clothes were cute but very revealing, especially the underwear. She gave me a pair of silky pajama bottoms and matching tank. Way more revealing than my usual. "Thanks…" I said as she turned around. "Bella, you're a total B a b e!" she exclaimed. I blushed and looked in the mirror. "Could I have a hoodie to wear over it?" I asked, she tossed me a black hoodie. "Thanks…" I put it on and walked back down the stairs.

"Mm…" I said walking into the kitchen. Edward had his back to me and was putting something on a plate. "What are you cooking…?" he turned with a plate and silverware in one hand and a glass of juice in another. "File mignon and a Greek salad." I smiled, "Sounds good…" I picked up the fork and dug in. I was starving and it tasted so delicious. "This is amazing, where did you learn to cook like this?" I asked around a mouth full of food. "Just something I practiced during my spare time." he smiled and played idly with a strand of my hair. I pushed the plate away from me, "Wow, that was.. The best food I have ever tasted." I got up to take care of my plate, but it disappeared from my hands. I stood there stunned. Edward stood across the kitchen from me, "Wow, well I should have you do my chores at home more often." I said with an easy smile. He smiled an uncertain smile, "Are you okay?" I nodded and walked over to him. "Absolutely fine…" he grabbed my hands and held them close.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and led me out of the kitchen. The power flickered and then shut completely off. "Shit…" I mumbled to myself. I heard Edward chuckle near me, and then a candle appeared. "Shall we?" I just nodded not entirely sure as to where we were going or anything, as long as I was with him. We ended up in his bedroom. He lit a bunch of candles near the glass wall and then some in the hanging lights from his ceiling. "Wow, this is so.. Romantic…" I said taking my hoodie off. I walked over to his stereo and turned it on. Some slow melodies began to play. I felt Edward's hands around my waist and I turned around. "Will you dance with me?" he asked. I couldn't answer, "I cant dance… well I can… but not like this…" I stammered.

"Don't be silly, I'll lead. You just follow." I gulped and we began slowly, moving around in a circle. I loved dancing with him. I laid my head against his chest and closed my eyes. I felt him pick me up and I opened them. He laid me on the bed and then laid himself next to me. He was watching me, tracing circles on my stomach. I lifted my head up and touched my lips to his. He returned the kiss and moved his hand to my side, slowly caressing my body. I felt my face go red and he smiled. "Are you ashamed my love?" I shook my head, "No, I like it…" I whispered and kissed him again. He traced the outline of my lips with his tongue and my lips parted.

I ran my hands down his chest. I never noticed how built he was. Every one of his muscles was sculpted to perfection. He let a low moan and pulled my thigh up and hitched it around his waist. He kissed me with such urgency and yet it was one of the most gentle kisses I had ever received. I felt my breathing come shorter and shorter. He rolled onto his back and pulled me with him. I took a deep breath when he started to kiss my neck gently. Tracing it with his tongue. "Have you ever…?" he asked, letting it trail off into the abyss. "No…" I gasped, "Have you?" he shook his head and began kissing me again.

Oh goodness this felt so amazing. He began to pull my shirt off and run his hands up my back as he sat up. He kissed my shoulders and then my neck again working his way up to my jaw. I started to take his shirt off and threw it on the floor when I succeeded. I ran my hands down his chest, he stopped kissing me and took a breath. "Bella… I don't know about this…" I kissed him quiet. "Why? What are you so worried about?" I asked breathless. He shrugged, "What if I hurt you? I mean…" I shook my head and wrapped my arms around him, "Don't worry about it, you wont… and if you do… well it will be worth it. Edward, don't kill yourself with worry." I said with a laugh.

He ran his fingers down my spine and I arched my back. He pulled my pants off, exposing the thin fabric Alice called underwear, letting it fall to the floor. He stared at me for a moment and then kissed me some more. I messed around with the buckle on his pants. He rolled over and held most of his weight over me. He sat up and took them off. I watched, he was even more beautiful in the candlelight. I propped myself up on one elbow, finally able to breath. He leaned back down slowly and pulled a blanket between us and kissed the skin underneath my jaw. "Are you sure, Bella?" I nodded, "Are you sure?" he thought a moment…, "Yes, I am.

He leaned down again and kissed me, passionately, my head began to spin…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Forever changing. . .

"Wait…" I said breathlessly, looking up into his eyes. They were cautious and fear was hidden deep inside. "What is it?" he asked in a ragged voice. "I… I think we should wait. I mean this is… this is amazing, but we don't have to rush things…" I kissed him again. He nodded and rolled from over top of me. I pulled a blanket up over me and sat there. "Wow…" I said and he nodded in agreement. "Waiting is a good thing. I'd hate for something bad to happen…" I nudged him in his rib but I heard my knuckle crack at the gesture. I mouthed my pain silently. He laughed and pulled me down to his side. I could still faintly hear my heart pitter pattering out of whack inside my chest. "Your heart sounds like a humming bird's wings…" Edward said smiling. I ran my hands through his beautiful, bronze hair. "It's an off day when someone doesn't tell me my heart sounds like a humming bird" I said, my voice full of humiliation.

He traced my jaw line from my ear all the way to my chin and back up. I smiled at him and he lowered his face to my level and kissed me sweetly. Alice walked in and I jumped under the covers. Edward laughed at me, "Haven't you heard of knocking?" Alice smiled and twirled to the side of the bed where I was. "Bella?" she asked, lifting the covers. I snatched them back down and popped my head out "Yes…" she laughed, "What are you doing under the covers?" I saw Edward laugh. I cut my eyes at him, "Um.. Nothing. So what are you up to?" I asked with a shaky voice. She laughed with me, although I'm pretty sure she was laughing at me. Edward reached down and kissed me gently, I felt my heart began to speed and my cheeks burned with the heat of the blush.

"I just came to see if you guys were alright, well I know you are, but for the sake of everyone else. They seem to not believe me…" she said with a frown. "Well, we are just find. Now if you don't mind, we would like our privacy…" Edward said in overly polite voice. She laughed a shrilling laugh and ran out of the door. I sat with my mouth open, amazed because she looked so ghostly when she ran. I closed it and Edward pressed his cool, hard lips to mine again. There was so much passion in the kiss, I would have been ashamed if Alice was still here. "So, where were we?" he said smiling. I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to his chest. "I don't remember, but being with you has me tired… will you sing to me?" I asked after a few moments. He nodded, seeming pleased with my willingness. He hummed my lullaby and a bunch of unfamiliar, yet still just as comforting.

I soon fell into the comforts of drowsiness and succumbed to my imagination as it took me on a wild ride throughout the night and into the late morning.

I awoke to Edward staring down at me. His face was peaceful and serene. I smiled up at him and rolled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed. "Good morning…" he said, I smiled and kissed him. "How long have you been awake?" he sighed, "Bella, I haven't gone to sleep." I heard myself gasp, "No wonder you have those deep, dark circles under your eyes." I said with disapproval. He shook his head, "Bella… the circles aren't because of a lack of sleep. I'm a vampire -he winced- and I don't… well I cannot sleep… at all. The circles are because, I do need blood to survive, not human blood of course, but we Cullen's survive only off of animal blood. We call ourselves "vegetarians" And since I have been around you so much, well your blood… it is very _appetizing_ to me and its hard. But you see, when the circles get too big, we must hunt, otherwise people will know that we are… different." I nodded and looked out the window. "Wow, the suns out today!" I nearly jumped off the bed. He laughed, "I tell you about the circles under my eyes and how I feed, and you are more worried about the sun being outside?" he said raising an eyebrow. I glowered at him, "No, but it caught me by surprise. I was thinking we could hang outside today and you could tell me more about yourself and your family." I watched his face and it went from peaceful all the way to regretful in a matter of seconds.

"Or… -I paused and swallowed- we could just hang out around your house… or if you don't want me-" I said and he grew angry. "Bella, don't be absurd! Of course I want you around. Without you, the day is as boring as the night. You are my life, now." he said, his voice growing more gentle as he saw the fear in my eyes.. And probably on my face as well. I sighed and got up from the bed. My legs were stiff, I stretched and groaned as I felt all of my joints pop and readjust. I smiled back at him and he laid there closing his eyes. "Bella… -he paused- Get dressed, quickly, please. I want to show you something, well try to show you at least." he sat up smiling and walked out of the room. As he left, Alice came in quickly behind him. She had some clothes in her arms. None of it looked too extravagant, but not necessarily my taste. "Here, put these on… hurry up a little will ya?" she added with a smile.

Jeans and a lacy blouse. Not totally me, but it was comfortable at least, so I couldn't complain. "Thanks Alice, but I could have worn the clothes I wore yesterday… I feel bad about having to wear your clothes…" she cut me the death stare. "Bella, don't be stupid. I love designing clothes and you are the perfect person for it." she said, walking up to my side and taking my hand. We walked downstairs and into the dimly lit living room. The sun had disappeared behind the thick clouds of Forks, Washington. I smiled when I saw Edward sitting on the couch next to Jasper, the game was on and my face fell. Guys plus sports game equal bad outcomes. But to my surprise Edward stood and motioned for me to come to him. I walked slowly across the room and he grabbed my hands in his and led me into the kitchen.

"So what would you like for breakfast, love?" he asked in a deadly seductive tone. I sat down and pretended to think. I wasn't much of a breakfast person, but for him I would do anything. "What do you have?" he put his hand under his chin and leaned against the counter behind him. "Cereal. Pancakes. Eggs and bacon. Toast. Yogurt…" he said, his list seeming to never end. I smiled at him, "Cereal?" I asked, "What kind?" he asked turning to face me again, "Surprise me." It was a matter of seconds before a bowl of honey nut cheerios were in front of me with a pitcher of milk and a glass of orange juice. "Err… thanks." I muttered. He simply smiled and came around to sit next to me. I felt self conscious as he watched me finish my cereal. He let me clean my dishes this time, and then I returned to sit next to him

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I stared off, following his gaze out the window. "Hmm… well I was going to take you to this special place, but I don't know if the weather will hold or let up…" he grabbed my hand and brought it up to his face. His skin was colder than usual, I shivered at the touch. "What's wrong Edward?" I asked in a whisper. Just then I saw Alice walk around the corner, her face mirroring Edward's. I shook his arm, but he didn't budge. "Someone… tell me what's wrong!?" I asked again, more hysterically. Then Alice shook her head and smiled, "Nothing. Don't worry about it Bella…" and she went hopping off into the other room, calling Jasper's name. I stared after Alice and then I remembered Edward was standing next to me. I turned to look back at him but he was no longer there. I stormed out of the kitchen and found Esme sitting on the couch, I walked over to her. "Hi. Have you seen…" I let the sentence drop off into the silence of the house. She stared up at me with what looked like tears in her eyes. I sat down immediately and took her hand in mine. "What's wrong? Why is everyone freaking out?" I asked, looking in her eyes I saw the same fear and confusion that Alice and Edward had had in theirs.

Carlisle walked into the room then, he had a bright and friendly aura that surrounded him. "Ah, Bella. How are you this morning? Hope everything is alright…" he stared down at Esme for a moment and then back up at me. "Edward and Alice and Jasper had something they needed to take care of… something came up that couldn't wait. I'm afraid you'll have to stay here, that is, if you don't mind?" he asked, gesturing for Esme to stand up and then he took her into his arms. I saw his lips moving but heard nothing. I felt a little calmer, and replied, "If you don't mind… I would love to stay. You're home is so… beautiful and peaceful." They smiled at me and nodded. They left me in the living room and I just sat and stared out the window for a while, then bored soon of that. I made my way up to Edward's bedroom and sat on his bed. He had an amazing view, and on the dresser, the candles from the night before were still there. I smiled to myself and laid back on the pillows. I couldn't believe my life right now.

I had the most amazing boyfriend, who, was also a vampire and thirsted for my blood constantly. Thinking about him gave me a pang of fear in my stomach that twisted and stabbed like little icy knives lodged inside of me. I sat up, I didn't want to think about him right now. I didn't know what was going on, but from the looks that Carlisle and Esme shared, it wasn't good. I got up and roamed his room. He had so much in here. I saw a guitar and I picked it up. I never knew he played, but then again I didn't know he played the piano either. I took it back to his bed and strummed some chords gently. It was already tuned, I grabbed some paper and a pencil, but when I had it, there were notes. I slowly strummed away the chords that were written and it was so sweet. I began to scribble words down, not really knowing where or why these words came, but I felt like I had to write them down or I would lose them forever. I wrote for what seemed like hours and played around with the chords until they matched what I wanted. The finished product brought tears to my eyes…

_Love of my life, My soul mate_

_You're my best friend_

_Part of me like breathing_

_Now half of me is left_

_I don't know anything at all_

_Who am I to say you love me_

_I don't know anything at all_

_& who am I to say you need me_

_Color me blue, I'm lost in you_

_Don't know why I'm still waiting_

_Many moons have come & gone_

_Don't know why I'm still searching_

I began to sing it out loud not realizing I had an audience. Edward walked over to the bed and sat down near me. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. He took my face between his hands and kissed me softly. I smiled, "It's rude to listen in on people and not tell them you're there." he just smiled, "Well technically I'm entitled to do so because it is _my_ room…" I kissed him again and got up to put the guitar away. He sat there and I felt his eyes burning through me. I turned around and he was right there behind me. I hadn't realized he had turned the stereo on. A slow, romantic melody was playing in the background. He grabbed me around my waist and began to twirl me slowly around his room. "Bella, I love you and I know its wrong and that I shouldn't, but I cant help it. You've had me at hello, and forever is what I want with you." he bent his head down and kissed me fervently. I sighed and looked into his eyes -golden honey- and touched his cheek gently, "I love you too. And I don't think that I could live without you, Edward, you are my everything. I want forever with you too." I kissed him again and he pushed me towards the bed, managing to kick the door closed in the process. I sighed when I felt the bed underneath my body. He got up and lit two bedside candles and joined me again.

I sighed and touched his face. He caught my hand and brought it to his face, kissing my hand… my fingers, lingering as I watched him. He took his time. He didn't seem to be in any hurry. He kissed my cheeks next and I closed my eyes, focusing on his lips as the brushed my skin -so soft and gentle like a butterfly's wing- as they made their way to my now eager lips. I moaned softly into his ear as he pulled his weight overtop of me. We gazed into each others eyes for what seems like eternity, and yet, I didn't want it to end even though my body wanted other things. He started to undo my shirt and succeeded very fast, tossing it to the floor. I kissed him again and watched as he took his shirt off and tossed it over the side along with mine. He leaned down and started kissing me, more passionately and savage like than ever before. I crushed myself closer to him, I felt like I couldn't get close enough. His breathing was coming shorter and shorter, matching mine. I smiled up into his eyes as the rest of our clothes fell onto the floor.

I forgot how to breathe and Edward laughed softly. His laugh was so beautiful, animal like, yet so delicate and beautiful. He leant down and I exhaled deeply as he kissed my neck and made his way down to my collar bone and all the way around to the other side. I ran my hands up his chest and that's when…

It was so amazing. The whole world was tipped upside down for me. Heave and hell had nothing on this. All these sensations were new to me and I never wanted it to stop. Our breathing was shallow and he covered me in sweet kisses. I clutched myself closer to him, calling out his name in passion filled cries. He silenced me every once in a while with a kiss or two to my lips and went back to my body. He was so amazing, I couldn't breathe and when he looked me in the eyes, I could tell he felt the same way. I let out a whimper and him a soft groan. He held me close and I kissed him. We stayed like that for a while before he moved from on top of me to lay beside me. I cuddled up to his chest, it was nice and cool. It felt good against my searing skin. I remember talking for a while, but I felt so good and I was so tired.

I woke to the sound of the floor creaking. I sat up, it was still dark outside, but I could see the figure walking across the room back to the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you…" Edward said climbing back into bed. I cuddled closer to him, "Don't worry, you didn't wake me." I said kissing his chest gently. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I put my hand on his chest, the candles were still lit and that's when I saw it. It sparkled on my ring finger. I shot upright and snapped on the desk lamp, I sat there with my jaw hanging open, glancing from the ring back to Edward. "WHAT IS THIS?!" I exclaimed turning to face him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: expect the unexpected. . .

**He sat there and smiled at me, and I sat with my mouth gaping open. "Don't freak out, love, it will all be alright…" he grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers and then kissed the ring. He whispered **_**I love you**_** in my ear as he kissed my neck. I sat back against the headboard of his bed. "So, we're getting married?" I asked dumbfounded. He shook his head, "Bella, you are so absurd. Do you not remember anything from earlier?" he looked me in the eyes, I shook my head. I didn't, which was weird. All I could remember was how his lips felt as they touched and explored my skin. I shook my head, shaking away the thought before it consumed me. "No, not really. But Edward, I … don't think that I **_**can**_**." I said, letting out a sigh as he intertwined our fingers. I loved him, I really did. There was no doubt about that, but I didn't think I could marry him. I broke out of my reverie when I hear my cell going off. I reached for it but Edward got to it before. He motioned if it was okay, I shrugged. He answered politely…it was Charlie.**

**Damn. I thought. Edward handed me the phone and I sat up further. Edward began to rub my back, forming soothing circles that left my skin burning for his touch.**

_**Bella: Hey dad…**_

_**Charlie: Hey Bells, I'm sorry to be calling so late -he paused- Um tell Edward, I assume that's who it is, that I'm sorry as well. But I'm going ot have to work later this week so I left the keys under the eave of the house and Jacob called…**_

_**Bella: Oh, thanks dad. That's sweet of you. I think I might hang around with Edward for a while though, but we will -or I will- stop by again for a while before we have to go back…**_

_**Charlie: Okay Bells, I sure miss you. Be careful and I will talk to you soon. Again sorry for the late night phone calls.**_

I told Charlie that it was okay and not to worry and then hung up. I collapsed against the pillows and covered my face with my arm. I felt Edward slide down into bed, and then I felt his arm around me. "He just worries about you, he doesn't mean to be overbearing or anything…" I sighed and turned to face him. "I know, but I don't know, he just seems like he doesn't like you or something and I hate it is all…" I sat up and Edward handed me his shirt. "Lets go get you something to eat…" he said smiling and I laughed and jumped up out of bed.

We tip-toed down to the kitchen, although I'm pretty sure everyone could hear us… which meant… that they could hear everything else. _Oh God_. I groaned out loud. Edward turned around and stared at me confused. I went over and sat at the counter and he opened the freezer and grabbed a carton of ice cream and two spoons. "Two spoons?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him. He laughed, "Yeah, vampires like ice cream too…" I shook my head and took a small spoonful and put it my mouth, he was so beautiful. It hurt to look at him, and hurt even more to realize that he was _mine_ and that _he wanted me, always and forever_. I sighed again and set the spoon down. "What's wrong, Bella, love?" I shook my head, he put his finger under my chin and made me turn my face towards him. He stared at me and I was lost in his deep, warm, honey-topaz eyes. "It's just that everyone here has supersonic hearing or whatever. And we just made love in your house, which means they heard _everything…_" I finished short of breath and let my head fall onto the counter.

He startled me by his booming laugh that filled the kitchen. It mesmerized me and I found myself laughing a little to. "Love, is that all? They learn to give people privacy, and even if they did hear, they wouldn't say anything about it. Besides, it was amazing and you were so beautiful, that I wouldn't care if the whole world had heard us." I smiled up at him, "But it's so embarrassing when you think about it. I mean for me, it was amazing as well, the best. But to think everyone else heard us, it makes me want to crawl in a hole." I said with a shaky laugh. He laughed with me and wrapped his arms around me. "Don't worry, everything is alright. Lets not take something good, and turn it into something that seems foolish." I kissed his hand, which was resting lightly on my shoulder and turned to him. "Alright, I wont. But do tell me one thing, how can you eat this ice cream?" he finished off his spoonful and laughed again, "You can drink blood, cant you?" he finished, and took another spoonful. "Touché. But how come you never eat with me any other time?" he thought about it for a while, "I don't really know, but, if it would make you feel better, I will eat with you all the time from now on." I smiled and stood up, stretching. I hadn't realized how tired I had gotten. I felt lightheaded and began to fall to the side, Edward caught me in his arms. He lifted me up into his arms, carrying me like a baby. I laughed at the absurdity of his ways, but he insisted as he carried me back upstairs. He laid me back onto the bed and I scurried up to the top of the bed and tucked my legs under the covers. He climbed up and sat next to me. He pulled a book out. I relaxed and laid back onto the plush pillows and closed my eyes. "I love you, Edward. And, I'd love to be your wife…" I heard my voice trailing off, it was so distant. I heard him laugh, and say something but I was too far away to actually hear whatever it was.

My dreams were peaceful that night. No creepy forests and monsters of the darkness trying to take me away. No instead, all I could think about was Edward, what we had shared previously to now, and his ring he gave me. I tossed and turned, it was a restless night. I couldn't fall deep enough into unconsciousness to escape the reality. Maybe it was because I didn't want to, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I awoke to a dark and cloudy morning. I forgot, here in Forks, it rains almost all of the time. I was groggy and then I felt Edward shift next to me. I reached out to touch him, but he wasn't there. I rolled over and there was a vampire, but it wasn't anyone that I knew.

I stared at him half scared and half curious, I reached out and he took my wrist, he lowered his face and I saw the light from the room glint off of his sharp teeth. I jumped up screaming, Edward wrapped his arms around me and I fought. I fought with all my strength against them. He whispered soothing words into my ear and I felt myself calming. I tucked my face into his neck and started to weep. I wept for my dream, for the terror I felt but I wouldn't allow myself to move, and for the way I had fought Edward off. He gently brushed my hair back from my face. I dried my eyes, "Sorry, I had the worst nightmare ever." he frowned, "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head and checked my wrists, it was all just a dream.

It seemed late enough to consider getting up. I got dressed in a flash and kissed Edward goodbye. "I'm going to go back to Charlie's house for a little while. Besides, I need some new clothes. I feel bad about borrowing Alice's." he simply nodded, and then sighed. "It's okay. I have some work I need to do today anyways. How's about I stop by for dinner later?" I smiled, "I'd love that, actually. I'll cook for once." he smiled back and kissed me gently, my heart began to race and I felt a blush coming along. "Text me if you need anything, I'll miss you like crazy. I don't know if I can stand being away from you for so long." I laughed and hit his chest playfully, "It's only for a few hours, besides, we can still talk. I love you." I kissed him goodbye, took his car keys and walked out.

The air outside was warm and muggy, and the skies were a dark purplish green color. It had an eerie way about it, but I tried not to be to bothered with it. I got into the car and turned the radio on. _Yes! _I thought to myself. Edward had left his Muse CD in the car, which meant easy listening all the way to Charlie's. I pulled out and drove out toward the express way. It wasn't that long of a drive, I wasn't gone but more than 3o minutes before I got a text from Edward.

_I miss you already. I might be a little late_

_Tonight for dinner. Something has come up_

_And I need to take care of it, don't worry I _

_Promise to be careful (which I know is what _

_You are thinking) and then you be careful, there_

_Is supposed to be a really bad storm tonight, not _

_Exactly sure though, but Alice has a pretty good sense._

_I love you, Isabella Marie. Always._

_Edward._

I felt my heart ache to be with him, but I kept driving. I'll text him when I get home. I pulled into the limits of Forks and was at Charlie's house in a matter of minutes. I went in and took a nice, hot shower. It felt amazing, and then I changed into some comfy jogging pants and a hoodie. I pulled my hair up and sat down at my desk and started up my laptop. While it loaded, I decided to text Edward back.

_Sorry it took me so long to text you back hon._

_I was driving and yes, the weather looks horrid_

_I hope it doesn't stay too long. and I miss you too._

_I'm going to run to the store and get some stuff before_

_Charlie gets home. Stay safe, I will too. I love you. B._

It had gotten cooler outside by the time I had finished checking my email. I stepped out and locked the door. I ran to the car and drove off. The lights in the store were bright, but comforting. They reminded me of the sun back home in New York during the summer. I missed those times, I thought to myself. I went through self checkout and was out in less than an hour. It was raining by the time I got to Charlie's house. His police cruiser was in the driveway. _Great_, I thought to myself. I got out and walked in. "Hey, Dad?" I said, kicking the door closed and heading down the short hallway to the kitchen. "In here…" I followed his voice into the kitchen. He was sitting reading the newspaper. He glanced up at me and smiled an eye crinkling smile, and I couldn't help but smile at him. Then he stopped smiling and stared down at my hands. I smiled and turned away quick before his resolution could be found.

I tucked my hand in my pocket and slid the ring off and kept it there. I make Chicken Enchiladas. Charlie always loved Mexican food, but with my mom, it wasn't always edible. I laughed mentally as I finished up cutting the chicken and mixing everything together. I tossed it into the oven and went to sit down next to him. I cupped my hand under my chin and watched Charlie finish reading. "How was your day?" I said finally breaking the silence. He winced and put the paper down, "It was alright. No action -he grimaced as he moved in his chair- and we just sat around and played some old school games." I laughed and patter his hand. "I missed you dad, I'll have to come and visit you more often you know. By the way, why are you so sore today?" he laughed darkly, "There was just a disagreement down at the station, nothing too big to worry about." I nodded and went to check on the food. I heard a knock at the door. "I'll get it, you just relax. Oh by the way, I invited Edward to dinner. I hope -I paused- I hope you don't mind?" I said turning towards Charlie. He just dismissed it and shrugged that he could care less.

He sighed once I opened the door and I was immediately in his arms. I smiled and he kissed me slowly, passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck, but too soon he undid them and brought them down and held them in his own. "God, I've missed you." he rubbed my hands and then the smiled dropped from his face. I looked down and realized that I still had my ring off. "What-" I put my finger to my lips to keep him quiet and I whispered, "Charlie doesn't know, and besides, aren't you supposed to like… -I paused- ask the father first?" I was stalling, and I mentally beat myself up. "Yes, would you like me to?" he said, his voice full of chagrin. I hugged him, "Please, don't be mad at me. I'm doing it for his sake…" he sighed. "First, I couldn't ever be mad at you, and second, I will ask Charlie for his permission before anything else is said about this, okay Bella?" I nodded and kissed him again. Then taking his hand slowly, we walked into the kitchen. Charlie was suspicious of our long welcoming that took place in the other room.

"Hello Charlie, how are you this evening?" Edward said politely. Charlie nodded, "Pretty good, pretty good. How about yourself?" Edward nodded, "Terrific, now that I'm here with, Bella…" he said, looking into my eyes and squeezed my hand gently. "Well, since we are all acquainted, why don't you two go and watch T.V. or something and I'll finish up with dinner." Edward frowned at me and I pushed them both out of the kitchen. "I'll call you when it's ready."

I heard them talking in the other room, but I couldn't quite make out what they were saying because Charlie had the T.V. so loud that it was almost impossible to realize that they were actually talking. I smiled to myself as I set the table. "Dinner…." I announced a few moments later. They both walked in and Charlie looked disturbed, Edward… not so much.

I served the food up and joined them at the table. "So, Edward was talking to me in the other room, and well… I don't quite know what to say." I frowned into my food, "Oh really. Well what were you two talking about?" play it safe I thought to myself and stirred the food around on my plate. "Well, I approve. I've seen how happy you are and well, I can't really stop you either way. So I'm just left to accept." Edward smiled at me and grabbed my hand. "I… wow, dad. I don't know what to say. I don't really know what you are talking about first of all… and-" he held up a hand and smiled. "Let me see the ring, really now, how dumb do you think I am?" he laughed, it was an earnest laugh. There was no trace of distress left in his voice or expressions.

I took the ring out of my pocket, Edward took it from me and placed it on my finger again and I smiled up at him. He kissed my fingers and smiled, exuberant was he in this moment, I couldn't help but feel the same. Charlie grunted and I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. I began to squeeze his hand in mine.

We finished dinner in silence for a while until Charlie spoke. "Don't you think you kids are moving a little too fast for all of this…" he waved his hand in the air signaling the ring and anything else that had to do with it. I shrugged and got up to clear the table. "Charlie, I love Bella very much, and I know this seems like we are moving too fast, but I can promise you that I wouldn't hurt her in any way…" Edward stopped and stared at me for a second then looked down at the table. I felt myself blush as I resumed washing dishes. "I can tell you do, but cant you guys just wait for a little while? I mean until you finish school and everything… not to mention Bells -he turned to face me- you're going to have to tell your mom." he finished smiling. I shrugged. "Dad, I'm sure mom would understand. And besides, its not like we are going to get married right away. Yeah we are young, but that doesn't mean we don't know what we are doing." I finished and returned to the table. "I know Bells, but I just… worry about you is all. You're my only daughter-" I put my hand on his again, "I know dad, and I know you're worried, but you don't need to be. I will be alright, and nothing will happen. I promise." I got up and gave him a hug.

Edward excused himself from the table moments later, claiming he needed to use the bathroom. But I got suspicious because unlike Charlie, I knew Edward had no need. I sat with Charlie for a while and then went upstairs to check on Edward. I knocked lightly on the door. It opened and I was pulled in so fast it knocked the wind out of me. "Shhh" he said, putting his finger to his lips and then I saw he was on the phone. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and waited. He hung up moments later. "Why did you need to lock yourself in the bathroom if all you needed to do was use the phone?" I asked, stretching my legs in front of me. He took my hands and pulled me up close to him. "Bella, it was vampire talk. I couldn't have Charlie eaves dropping on my conversation and hearing too much. You already know too much as it is and I'm putting you in danger just by that." I shook my head and rested it on his shoulder. "Well, what's going on?" he kissed my forehead. "Some… vampire '_royals_' are coming into town to check on us. They tend to do this from time to time. But I'm going to be really protective of you and I will have to leave for a few days next week to see them. But you cant come with me, so don't even think about it. It will be out of the question." I shook my head and then kissed his cheek. He smiled and kissed me slowly, "We better go back downstairs, Charlie's getting worried… correction, frustrated." he said laughing and took my hand leading me out of the bathroom and back downstairs. I heard the T.V. come on and went in the kitchen for some water. I was feeling dizzy and strangely nauseas. I took a seat at the table and set my head down.

I heard laughter coming from the other room and then Charlie walked in. "Bells? Bella, are you alright?" I looked up and saw Charlie and then saw Edward race in right behind him. "I'm alright, I just got really dizzy all of a sudden. Don't worry." I stood up and put my glass in the sink. "Dad, well, we better get going. It's getting late. We'll stop by again soon." I hugged him and Edward shook hands. We finished our goodbyes and made it outside. It was pouring down rain and the sky was even uglier than it was earlier today. "Edward, maybe… well maybe we should stay the night here. This weather is getting really bad and I don't want to be stuck inside of it." I felt him laugh, "Bella? Are you really saying this? I have amazing reflexes -he looked down at my face- but we can stay. I think it _would_ be better for you." he touched my cheek gently. I blushed, of course.

I opened the door and walked back inside with Edward on my heels. "Dad, do you mind if we stay the night?" Charlie darted around the corner and skidded to a stop, trying to play cool I suspected. "Of course, not. I'd be honored if you did. I mean you guys are always at his house, I'm sure his parents would like a break every once in while." Edward laughed, "Yes, I'm sure they do." Charlie turned to look at him, "Although, you'll have to sleep on the couch…" Edward nodded in agreement. "Of course." I smiled. "Well, I think I'm going to go up and take a shower. Could we have some alone time?" I saw Charlie contemplate it, "Sure. -he eyed Edward- Don't try anything funny…" and he went back in the living room to finish watching sports center.

I grabbed my bath bag and a change of clothes. "Um, make yourself at home. The internet works, radio is right there… CD's are on the shelf right there… and I'll be back in a little bit." I walked out of the room. The shower felt amazing. The hot water uncoiled all of my muscles and I began to relax. Charlie was taking all of this news fairly well, I half expected him to flip out on us and ban me from any and everything to do with him. The scent of my favorite strawberry shampoo put me in a comforting place. I was back home in New York. The comforting noises of the boisterous city at night, my friends, whom I missed dearly. Angel, Mark, Mimi, Roger, Collins, and even Maureen and Joanne. Then there was my mom, I felt my eyes fill with tears. I couldn't regret coming to this school. I loved it here and now I had Edward. I had everything I could ever imagine for myself. But I did miss her, and I even missed Phil and his younger ways.

The hot water began to run out and I had to call it quits. I got out and toweled off briskly. Then I brushed and washed my face with care. Maybe I could buy some more time with Edward if Charlie stayed up later than usual. I tossed the towel in the hamper and headed out. I heard soft music coming from my room, so, I picked up the pace and walked in, slowly closing the door behind me. I smiled at Edward as he lay sprawled out on my bed. He was so beautiful, I took a hit on my self esteem because he could look like a freaking super model and I couldn't.

I put my stuff down and he motioned for me to join him. I skipped across the room and cuddled up next to him. He wrapped a blanket around me and hugged me close. "Your room is interesting. It says a lot about you." I smiled, "Thanks. Sorry about the mess…" he shook his head and traced circles on my cheek. "No, don't worry about it. Its who you really are. Not a slob, but just normal." I looked at him and kissed the hollow of his neck. "I love you…" he whispered it back and kissed me softly on my forehead. "Bella, do you really want to marry me? I saw the way you tried to hide it from Charlie…" I shook my head. "No, I really do. I love you, Edward. And I was only hiding it from Charlie because he… well he's always worrying about me, and I don't want him to like freak out on me and everything. It had nor does it have anything to do with you…" I squeezed his hand.

He nodded, "Are you sure? I mean I would understand if that was the case…" I sat up, frustrated now. "What is with you tonight? I mean you're sounding like you don't even want to be with me, Edward, is that the case?" I sat up further facing him, with my knees tucked into my chest. He sat up as well and took my left hand in his. "You know that is no the case, I just don't want to push you into anything…" I had had enough of this kind of talk. I pushed him back onto the bed gently and laid on top of him. I held his face between my hands and looked him in the eyes, "If this gets to be too much for me, I will let you know." I said, kissing his cheeks. He took my hands away and caressed my face. "Okay." I lowered my face to his lips and left feather light kisses all over. His mouth searched for mine and when it found it, pleasure beyond this world engulfed me. He explored every space in my mouth and I traced his lips with the tip of my tongue. I sighed as he flipped me underneath him and he hovered over top of me. He lowered his mouth again, this time to my neck, "Mmmm you smell… just like flowers. Freesia, Lavender, and something else." he left a feather kiss there and moved up my jaw line and back. Then found my mouth again. I kissed him back, with as much feeling and heart as I could possibly find.

He pulled back and laid next to me again. "Not tonight, love. You are unbelievably irresistible." he kissed my hand and rested it on his chest. I yawned and he got up. "Rest, my love. You need it." I smiled and stretched as I pulled the covers up over my body. He stripped his shirt and pants off in an extremely fast gesture. Leaving them hanging on the back of my chair. He glided his way back to my bed and climbed in with me. "Sleep my Bella, dream pleasant dreams." and he kissed my forehead. I cuddle up closer to him and realized he was wrapped in another blanket. I frowned to myself, but sleep was becoming even harder to avoid. I hugged him closer to me and kissed his neck once more, before I gave up and let sleep overcome me.

I woke up to a bright light shining in my eyes. I rolled over and it disappeared. I cracked my eyes open and saw that the light was on. I glanced up and Edward was asleep. Or so it appeared and Charlie was standing over us. I gasped and sat up, "Char- Dad! What are you doing in here? Get _out_!" I said louder, as I got out of bed because he wasn't responding. Edward was up before me with his clothes on and everything. I looked and him and then back to Charlie. Edward pulled me back and I shook his arm away as Charlie passed out in front of me and fell to the floor. I screamed out in horror. Edward pulled me back behind him and shot forward to the floor. He ran out of the room then and down the stairs. I bent down to Charlie and checked for a pulse. It was slow and weak, but still there. I began to dial 9-1-1, but Edward's pale hand stopped me. "_What are you doing?!?_" I yelled at him. He shook his head and brought me up from the floor. "Don't Bella, just let it be for a second. He is alright, trust me." I shook my head, and then I saw that Charlie was taking deeper breaths now and after a while his eyelids began to flutter. I exhaled loudly and began to sob as I saw the life coming back into him. "Edward, what the hell just happened. I want the truth, no bull shit this time…" he sighed, "There is some things I should tell you, but now is not the time. I will explain them soon, but you need to take care of Charlie for the time being. Bella, my world is very dangerous right now, and if you have been paying attention to the news, there is a war.. Well not a war, but it still counts, and vampires are going on a killing spree. Some of them have special talents, as you have witnessed here. But I will not say anymore tonight." I sighed and bent down to help Charlie up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: safety first. . .**

"What happened?" Charlie asked as Edward and I steadied him on his feet. "Dad you-" I cut off not entirely sure as to what to tell him exactly. "Charlie, you were sleep walking is all. No worries…" Edward said and held onto his shoulder as Charlie began to swoon. "Here, Dad, let us help you back to your room." Edward and I followed him into his room. I sat with him for a while and told Edward to go back to my room. He sighed and gave in reluctantly, walking out of the room. I kissed Charlie on his forehead, "Bells, don't baby me. I'm grown, I can do this, besides, and I was only sleep walking. Yeesh." he said with a silent laugh. I laughed with him and then walked slowly out of the room.

Edward was on my laptop, his fingers swiftly moving at incredible speeds across the keyboard. "Yeesh, take it easy with my pc, it can only endure so much." he smiled up at me and patted the bed near him. I walked over and sat down. "I'm going to go back to my house tonight; I'll leave the car for you in the morning. I need to talk to Carlisle about tonight." I shook my head, "I'm going with you, and I refuse to be left behind… again." I looked him in the eyes, they were darker than usual. Distress was in them and fear, "Bella…" I put my finger to his lips, "No, I'm going. You can't just expect me to sit around here, after what I just saw and not d anything. That's inexplicable. Besides, I'm afraid to stay by myself…" I hated to play this card on him right now, but I didn't want to be left behind. He sighed and wrapped his arm around me. "You are unbelievable -I smiled to myself- but I cannot say no to you, so yes, I'll take you along…"

"Thank you. So what are you doing on here anyways?" I asked, but he was faster. He closed everything out and flipped the laptop closed. I pouted playfully next to him, and then got up to get dressed. I packed my purse full of stuff, clothes… toiletries…the works. I went down to the kitchen and began to scribble out a note for Charlie to find in the morning.

_**Charlie,**_

_**I'm sorry we had to leave in such a hurry. Something**_

_**Came up at Edward's home and we had to leave. I will **_

_**Be back soon, before the end of the week. Sorry about **_

_**Last night and everything. Love Bella.**_

I left it on the counter, where he was sure to find it. I felt bad about leaving him tonight, of all nights. But I would see him again, but then I got an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I saw my hand shaking, and I dropped the note. Following Edward outside made me feel like a child again, not allowed to walk ahead of them for fear I would run off or something would happen to me. I got in the car quietly and rested my head against the back of the seat. "What's wrong, Bella?" I shook my head, "Nothing, I'm just worried. All of this is happening now and we go back to school in like 3 days…" I chuckled and popped a CD in. Claude Debussy's Claire De Lune filled the car, a symphony that made my legs yearn to be free, that made my body want to bend a twirl and free from all these stresses. "Don't worry, nothing will happen. It's not as serious as we thought, but we on the other hand, have to keep an eye out for everything because we live so close to here and they are one of us, so if they mess up, there's a slight chance we could get reprimanded for it as well." I nodded, biting on my lip nervously.

I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket, _Jacob_. I accepted the call.

_**Bella: Hey, Jacob?**_

_**Jacob: "Hey, um sorry for calling so late, I was just wondering if you were going to come down to La Push anytime soon…"**_

_**Bella: "Wow, um, I don't really know, Jacob. I mean, I'm pretty busy visiting Edward's family and then there is the case of Charlie. But I can see what I can do. Don't you have school in the morning or something?" **_

_**-I added half joking and half serious-**_

_**Jacob: "Oh, I hadn't realized you… and Edward were, serious…" -I heard him sigh heavily into the phone-**_

_**Bella: "Well, yeah, it's okay. I mean I can see if I can stop by later tomorrow. Will that be alright?" -I was trying to cheer him up just a little-**_

_**Jacob: "Oh, really? That would be… that would work out. It would be fun. I'll see you tomorrow then." **_

_**Bella: "Okay. -I sighed- See you tomorrow, Jacob."**_

I hung up and closed my eyes; I can't believe I actually felt bad about this. I hardly knew the kid, yet I felt compelled to keep him happy, it was like if he wasn't happy, then I couldn't be happy. "That was very nice of you, Bella, you constantly continue to amaze me… everyday, no matter what you are doing." he took my hand and I twined our fingers together. Pale ivory marble against the pale pink flesh of my hand. It was beautiful in its own, unique way. I squeezed his hand gently and he raised mine to his lips, grazing my fingers gently.

It didn't take as long as I thought that it would to get back to his house. I had fallen asleep on the way here, but when I felt Edward carrying me into his home, I startled awake and couldn't manage to get back to the peaceful place. The sat in the living room, Carlisle and Edward were huddled together talking swiftly. Esme sat near me and took my hand. She reminded me so much of my mother, that no matter what I was feeling before, I felt amazingly calm and collected now. There wasn't a worry in my body. Then I remembered Jasper was there, cradling Alice in his arms while they sat on the couch beside me. It was getting late, I was having trouble keeping my eyes open, and then I felt cool-strong arms. Marble like, yet oh so very comforting. I let them carry me and then I felt something soft give underneath me. I jumped up clingy to the cold figure. _Edward_ I sighed and relaxed back onto the bed. I pulled the covers up over my body and snuggled up on the pillow. He kissed my forehead, but, I was already out of it.

I slept soundly that night, and when I awoke, the room was dimly lit, the sun was out, but hidden behind the notorious clouds of Forks, WA. I smiled and sat up, but the bed was empty. I frowned to myself and slipped off of the big bed. I walked over to my bag and grabbed it, dashing into the bathroom. I knelt over the toilet bowl and everything just sloshed right out of me. I clung to the toilet while everything that had ever churned in my stomach came up and spilled over into the toilet. When I felt it was safe I rested my head against the cool, tiled floor and waited. I sat up finally and flushed the toilet. I rinsed my mouth out and splashed cold water on my face. I brushed my teeth and then jumped in the shower; I took my time for a while and then grew agitated and gave up. I dressed briskly in one of my Alvin Ailey shirts and jeans, pulling my hair up into a pony tail on the way out. Downstairs I smelled something delicious, but oddly it smelled horrible through my senses. Edward was standing at the stove cooking something, he didn't acknowledge that I was there so I just sat down and cupped a hand under my chin resting.

"Good morning -he paused- well afternoon, sleeping beauty." he said with a smile, as he turned around and handed me a plate of food. Sautéed Chicken on a bed of lettuce with some kind of vinaigrette dressing. It looked wonderful, but then my stomach was churning again. "Pretty good, this looks wonderful. Well you see, I'm not… well I'm not that hungry today." I said with a grimace, and pushed the plate away. He nodded and took the plate and tossed it into a Tupperware container and then into the refrigerator. I let my head fall onto the counter, "So what are you going to do today?" I asked, closing my eyes. "I… don't know. I will probably hang around with Alice and Jasper for a while… then spend some time with Esme." I saw him shrug. I nodded. "Sounds fun. I've got to go down to La Push…" I sighed and sat back up. It was just enough time to catch his expression. He looked angry and devilish. Looking at him now put a fear in me I had never had before when I was around him. "It won't be that bad" he said, leaving the room.

I sat, baffled at how he was blowing me off this morning. _He just has a lot on his mind _I kept telling myself the whole way down to La Push. It had turned out to be a nice day after all. I pulled up in front of the red house, _Should I have called?_ I thought to myself. I sighed and got out of the car. You could hear the ocean, although it was a ways away. I knocked on the door, but it swung open before I could finish the knock itself. "BELLA!" an exuberant Jacob exclaimed when he saw me. "Err… Hi, Jacob. Nice to see you too." I said laughing. He invited me in and I saw Billy sitting in the kitchen. I waved to him and he offered me a big, warm smile. It was relaxing here, so easy and comfortable. It made me feel like I was at home.

Jacob and I sat in the living room for a while just chatting and catching up on a few things. As I sat there and talked to him I felt the old days from our childhood coming back to me and everything. We had fun, his sisters, him, and me all playing together while our dads fished. It was fun. Then I moved to New York with Renee and everything just kind of fell apart after that. We never really talked much and then of course I met all of my wonderful friends in New York. Angel and the gang, they were truly amazing. But then again, hanging out with Jacob and his sisters was always fun too. We got along so well, but we were never really close. Our parents just sort of threw us together when they felt the need to do so.

I broke out of my reverie of memories when I realized that Jacob was trying to talk to me. Asking me a question was more like it. "Do you want to go and hang out down by First Beach?" he was asking me. I smiled; I hadn't been there in forever. "Um I don't see why not. But it looks like it might rain… I hate the rain -I grimaced- but it's whatever you want to do." I finished with a smile. He took my hand and led me outside. It had warmed up considerably since this morning, but there was still a chill in the air. I wrapped my jacket around me tighter as we got into Jacob's Volkswagen and headed down the road. I toyed around with his radio for a while and then gave up; the weather here was always messing around with the radio stations. He smiled -more to himself I would have guessed- and then turned to talk to me. I hadn't really noticed that we were silent for the majority of the car ride. To be honest, I didn't really remember how long it took to get to First Beach.

"So, where are you staying again?" he asked in a polite, conversational tone. "Um… in Seattle. At an art school…" I said, biting my lip afterwards. I turned to look out of the window, half joking, "Are we there yet?" I asked in an exasperated tone. He laughed lightly; it was an attractive laugh, mesmerizing. "Patience is rewarded." he said and I couldn't help but smile up at him. "Alright, so… what do you have planned for us to do at the beach?" I asked. His face was thoughtful, "Well, I figured we could just walk around and take in the sights or something. It's really boring here at La Push, much like Forks. But whatever comes our way, we can do it…" he let it trail off into the silence of the car. He popped a CD in and a bunch of jumbled instruments began to play with people screaming into the background. I turned it down until it was just background noise. He started to bob his head to the music. I covered my ears in mock horror; he just laughed and tried to pull them away. I punched him playfully as he parked and I jumped out of the car and took off toward the beach.

"Catch me if you can!" I screamed as I ran for the pebbled covered sand. He was fast, _very fast_. He caught up to me in a matter of seconds, and I had a good head start at that too. I sat down under a tree and tried to catch my breath, all the while holding my stomach trying to get my laughing under control. He sat down as well, breathing almost normal again, laughing as well. Jacob picked up a rock and tossed it over the sand and it skidded across the surface of the water. "Wow, it's even more beautiful than I ever remember it being. I rested my head back against the tree. He nodded, "Yeah, people have been trying to keep it in good shape, the better the beaches… the more tourists I guess." he finished with a shrug. "I see. You know, I was actually dreading today, but it turned out to be pretty fun. I've been so stressed lately and everything, but this… this really helped me. You are easy to get along with." I said, smiling at him. He took my hand in his, I wanted to pull away, but he meant the best and he wasn't some creepy pervert either. But his hand was warm, extremely warm. But it felt good, oddly enough.

I pulled my hand away after awhile and stood up stretching my muscles. I thought about what to do next and I remembered that I had slipped my swimsuit on after Edward had left me earlier this morning. I stripped my pants off and began to pull my shirt off. I stood above Jacob smiling, "Race you in?" I said laughing, starting to run off again. He sighed, started laughing with me and ran into the water. He beat me in and once I was knee deep I realized that the water was _freezing_. I tried to go back but he started to splash so I just dove in and swam out to him. The water felt good after a while and we swam around and then ended up back on the beach. I laid in the sand, basking in the warm sun that had decided to grace us with its presence. It felt warm against my ice-cold skin. It warmed my blood and as I closed my eyes I could feel the sun beating down on my eyes, it was warm and delightful.

Jacob shook me. "Bella? Come on… it looks like rain again." I shot up, when had I fallen asleep? This was ridiculous. I got up and dusted myself off. I was still considerably wet, so I just slipped my shirt on and we headed back to his car. "Wow, sorry. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep. I'm sorry about that." I finished, catching my breath and then yawning. He shrugged, "Don't worry about it. It happens, besides, you looked so peaceful and you did seem tired. After all, I did call you in the middle of the night and you answered pretty fast which can only mean that you were up that late or maybe even later than that." I laughed at him after he was finished, "It seems like you thought a lot about this all…" I nudged his shoulder lightly. It didn't seem to take as long to get back as it did to get there. We pulled up into his driveway and then it started to rain. I sighed. "It seems like it will never let up -I glared toward the sky- always rain and more rain." I sighed again and closed the door to his car and ran out toward his house. "It did for a while, we swam and it was sunny. Be thankful for that." I nodded and started to laugh as he held the door open for me and I walked in and out of the rain.

"Hi Billy." I said as I walked in and let Jacob follow behind me. My cell went off. "Can I use your bathroom?" they pointed me down a small, narrow hallway. I picked up my phone…

_**Bella: "Hey Edward…"**_

_**Edward: "Bella -relief radiating from his voice- How are you?"**_

_**Bella: "I'm fine. I actually had a good time. -I scowled at the wall- Why? What's wrong?"**_

_**Edward: "Well… nothing. Nothing is wrong, I was just wondering how your day turned out. You seemed kind of down…"**_

_**Bella: "You worry a lot. But I'm fine, it was actually a lot of fun. I'm actually getting dressed right now and then I will be on my way back to your house."**_

_**Edward: "Oh, well I guess I will see you when you get here. I love you, Bella. And I miss you dearly, I can't wait until you get here… I have a gift for you…"**_

_**Bella: "Wow, well I guess I better get moving then. I'll see you soon."**_

I said laughing as I heard Edward sigh and then hang up. I pulled on my pants and straightened my hair up, just pulling it up into a sloppy pony tail. I stepped out of the bathroom, putting my phone into my purse and walking out into the front room. "He's that worried about you, huh?" Jacob said smiling up at me as I walked out. I blushed, "Yeah, can you blame him? I'm kind of accident prone and everything." I said with a laugh. I said goodbye to Billy and Jacob walked me out to my -well Edward's- car.

"Thanks. You didn't really need to do all of this. I could have walked over here by myself. But I appreciate it a lot, and well… I had a lot of fun today. Maybe we can do it sometime soon." I gave him a friendly hug and got into the car. I started to text Angel…

_**Angel, darling. You will never guess what**_

_**Has happened to me over the past week.**_

_**It's amazing and I can't wait to see you guys**_

_**Again soon. I miss you all dearly and hope all**_

_**Is well with not only you but everyone around you**_

_**Tell the gang that I said hello.**_

_**Love ya, B.**_

I smiled to myself as I sent it and then backed out of the driveway. I had totally forgotten that Jacob was waiting outside in the rain and I immediately felt bad about it, but pushed the thought from my mind. I drove home with Edward on my mind. It wasn't unusual, but I was wondering about what was wrong with him earlier today and also about what he had waiting for me. I pulled off the freeway and began the long drive down the dirt road to his house. I finally found the entrance turnoff and made my way down his driveway. It had an eerie, yet cheerful atmosphere to it. I guess it felt like that to keep the unwanted people away and the welcomed one always felt comfortable.

I parked the car and walked into the house. It was quiet, but I heard soft music coming from the dining room, so I made my way there. There was a table set for two with candlelight and all the works. I smiled in awe and made my way into the kitchen. Before I could turn completely around the corner, Alice caught my in a strong grip, like I was a football, and carried me up the staircase to her bedroom once again. She set me down in the closet and started flinging things every which way. Then she came across and tossed me a knee length gown. It was beautiful. A red satin that seemed to be my perfect size. She helped me slip it over my head -strapless- and then adjusted it so that it was perfect. In all the time I had known Alice, I learned not to argue with her when it came to clothing. It was a battle you would always lose. She smiled to herself and I sighed as she forced me into a chair that sat in front of her vanity. She undid my hair and began to twist it and pull it into this elegant twist, but left stray hair falling down my back. It was a beautiful style, just not meant for me. She smiled again and hugged me as I sat down again. "Well? What do you think?" she asked in a very excited, yet impatient tone. I shrugged, "I love it Alice, it is amazing. You know, you should open your own boutique or something of that nature. You truly are amazing." I finished and smiled up at her, patting her hand. "But… might I ask what all of this is for?" she shook her head and then I heard a light knock on the door, but just as I heard it, the door flew open. I hadn't realized that Alice had even left. My phone vibrated across the floor. I reveled with myself on whether or not to see who it was or who it was from, but I was whisked away. Edward stood in a red button down dress shirt and black suit pants. The top button of his shirt was undone -which made him look even more like a male model, dressed to portray the great Adonis- and his hair was messy, but I had a feeling no one could attempt to even get their hair to look half as great as his did. Then I forced my eyes to look at his face. His eyes were a warm honey color and he was smiling at me. Most likely laughing at me or simply fascinated by my gorgeous looks. _As if _I thought to myself and sighed.

"Bella…" he stopped, he was lost for words. In his eyes, beneath the warm color, I could see the love and adoration he had for me. And I could sense that he saw the same in mine. I smiled at him, "Well… this is some mighty fine planning you've done. But did it ever occur to you that I would do all of this willingly and you wouldn't have to have Alice carry me around the house like I was some football in overtime during the Super bowl?" I asked with amusement. He shook his head, "You would never have agreed to this." he said with a smile and held his hand out in a gesture for me to take it. I did, and he led me out of the room. "Well, why wouldn't I agree? I mean we are just having dinner here at your house… I don't think I would have disagreed." he grimaced at my comment, "Bella, we aren't staying here. Alice has that set up for her and _Jasper_ , not for us. We on the other hand, we are going out… but it's a surprise, so please try to go along with it." I sighed and nodded my agreement. "I can do that… but one small request, can I have my purse from upstairs?" but I could barely get the question out when Alice flew down the stairs and handed me a black handbag. "Um… thanks? But I need my phone and stuff out of _my_ purse…" she stared at me blankly and shook her head, "Bella, you _are_ absurd. Like I would be so dumb as to forget _that_." she said and walked off as if I had actually hurt her feelings.

We left the house and got into a sleek, black car. Far to fancy to be the one I used so often. At first I thought it was, but as I got situated inside of the car, I noticed that this…_this_ car was definitely not the same. It had an expensive interior, and the outside I couldn't see, but I'm sure it looked way better than the inside. I took my phone out of the purse. Angel had text me back…

_**Oh sweetheart, I'm so glad to see that you are happy**_

_**It means the world to me that you finally have someone**_

_**Worth your time. Tell me, I want all of the details. don't**_

_**Spare anything because you know how I like this kind of stuff**_

_**We are all fine and everyone says hello as well. You worry too**_

_**Much for your own sake hon., we are all well, nothing new here**_

_**Joanne and Maureen are getting along **__again__**, but other than that…**_

_**Nothing. But I do want to know your good news and everything about**_

_**It. Hope to hear from you soon. Love you, Ang.**_

I smiled to myself, she was always so ready to help out with anything that she could. And she was always telling me that I worried too much. Well serves her right, we live across the country and see each other on rare occasions. Like spring break.. But they were only here for barely a weekend, but it was still nice…

_**Well, what can I say? I learned it from the best. Yes, I'm **_

_**Happy that I am finally happy. Edward -remember, the hard**_

_**To get one?- yup, well its him. He is the love of my life, always**_

_**I don't know what I would do without him… but he is truly one of a kind**_

_**Right now, I don't really know where he is taking me, but he says it's a **_

_**Secret. I'm dressed up. Top to bottom, all thanks to his sister. Red strapless dress, barely to the knees, my normal jewelry **_

_**Edward is dressed to match. How romantic? But I don't know**_

_**He was acting kind of funny, but other than that… I think he is**_

_**Trying to make up for something, but the biggest news of all is**_

_**IM ENGAGED! Yup, that's right… I'll call and tell you more about it**_

_**But right now I think he is catching on to what I'm doing, sorry love.**_

_**But I've got to go for now. I send my love, tell Renee I said hello and**_

_**That I miss her, but don't tell her about the engagement, I want to surprise her with it. See you guys sooner than later. Love always, B.**_

I sent the text and put my phone away as I noticed Edward was looking down at it. I glanced up at him and he was smiling, "So I take it you don't think the whole _engagement_ thing is such a big deal anymore? How is… Angel taking the news?" I felt my mouth pop open. "Eaves dropping is for the birds. And I don't know how she is taking it. I just told her… you aren't mad are you?" I asked with some nervousness in my voice. He stared over at me and a grimace formed on his face. "How could I be mad at you, love? I'm so excited that you are ready to tell your friends. I was so worried that you wouldn't want to tell them… for well… for fear of what they would think and say." I saw sadness and happiness in his eyes.

I reached over and took one of his hands from the steering wheel of the car. I squeezed it gently in mine, lacing and twining our fingers together. "I love you, and I'm not ashamed to tell anyone about what we have…" he brought his hand up and wiped a tear from my eye. I blushed not realizing that I was crying, and turned to look away. We pulled up in front of this five star looking restaurant.

"WOW!" was all I could say while Edward held the door of the car open for me as I got out. Half of the wow was for the restaurant, the other half was for the car that we had arrived in, as people lined up and stared at both us and the car. "This… this is amazing Edward, I mean… I don't deserve this." he stopped dead in his tracks and I was yanked back. He steadied me, and then a black anger filled his features, "Bella, you are everything to me. Everything and nothing less. You are beautiful, funny, sweet and smart. Don't talk down about yourself, you deserve all of this."

I stared at him in astonishment, this was the first time since before we were even together, that he had ever like… lost his temper with me. It frightened me, but I laughed… then sobered up, "I'm truly sorry. Of course, I do deserve this. I deserve a wonderful guy like you… whom I want to spend _forever_ with. I'm sorry I said all of that, forgive me?" I finally finished, playing it up a little because I was batting my eyelashes. He chuckled and bent down and brushed his lips across mine. I felt my cheeks grow hot under his touch. I smiled and stole another kiss from him before he broke away and led me into the restaurant. All the while he was shaking his head in disbelief.

I don't know how it came to be, but he was amazing. Maybe I had been through enough hardships in life that it was my turn to take a turn at the easy side of life and be loved for a change. All I know is that Edward was mine and I was his and that was all that mattered. And despite me being away from my family, I was thankful for my life now. He had reserved us a secluded table in the back of the restaurant. With him tipping the waiter, he pulled my chair out for me and I sat; then he sat down across me. I rested my hands on the table leaning in toward him. Edward took my hand and held it in his own. I smiled up at him and he brought my hand to his mouth. I blushed at his touch, but he seemed pleased by my reaction.

"Well, this is some evening you have planned, this restaurant is…" I was at a loss for words. "Amazing? Yes, I agree… but you top it all. And yet, I know it's wrong for us to be together, I just cant imagine my life with you, Bella." he frowned down at the table. I just nodded, feeling tears in my eyes, I picked up the menu and scanned it. "So what's good to eat here?" I asked absentmindedly. He waved off my question, "I have been wondering… since our conversation this afternoon…" I eyed him carefully, trying to read the emotion hidden deep within his eyes, they had darkened considerably. "Okay… what about?" he took my hand in his again and toyed with the ring he had given me. "Well, never mind. It doesn't matter. Forget it, lets order." and with that said he waved over the waiter over.

He ordered something that sounded like something that would resemble _Chicken Cordon Blue_. I didn't object to it, I just went along with him.

Dinner was more of a quiet affair. Something was on his mind, but I couldn't quite make out what it was. It worried me, therefore I lost my appetite. I pushed my plate away and sat watching him pick at his food. "Are you ready to get out of here?" he asked after a long moment. I nodded and stood up. For some reason, anger pulsed through me and I wanted to physically hurt someone. I was usually a pretty calm person, but tonight…well tonight, it scared me because I wanted to hurt someone. I stalked out of the restaurant and into the parking lot leaving Edward behind. He ran up to me from behind and I pulled out from under his grip.

"If you didn't want to really be with me, then just say so. Don't say sweet things to me and then go about ignoring me and then trying to buy me over with expensive dinners and what not." I stalked off toward the water front that was on the other side of the parking lot. "Bella… what are you talking about? Bella!" he yelled after me. I didn't turn, I kept walking, speeding it up, and due to my clumsiness… I tripped. I fell to the ground and just sat there. Tears spilling over the brim of my eyes. I smashed my fist into the ground and he caught my hand before I could do it again. "Bella, love. Please, stop this. I don't … well I don't know what to tell you. Why are you freaking out?" I glared at the ground. "Really? You basically ignored me this morning and then you seemed upset when I went to La Push earlier. You were the one who said it wouldn't be that bad. Then you take me to this goody two shoo restaurant and don't say not one word to me after you ordered…" I had to stop to catch my breath. "You didn't even try to make conversation… and then I could tell you were upset, do you not trust me enough to talk to me?" I finished, my heart lurching painfully in my chest. I played with the ring on my finger. I took it off, then set it on the ground after a few moments. "I am sorry about earlier today. It had nothing…Bella, it had nothing to do with you…" he said, not making eye contact with me. "Yeah, sure. That's why you cant even look me in the eye…" I got up and walked off toward the car. I saw him reach over and pick the ring up, then it looked like he was going to cry.

He walked slowly back to the car. "Bella, don't do this…" he said as he closed the door behind himself and sat with his forehead on the steering wheel. His voice caught and my heart plummeted into my stomach. _How could I treat him like this? I loved him with all my self being, I know he meant well… why am I overreacting?_

I turned to him, "Edward, I'm sorry -my voice caught- I.. didn't mean to react like that." I said, reaching over to stroke the back of his head, slowly running my hand through his hair. He shook his head, "No, I was being unreasonable. You know I trust you, its just that… well it's hard to tell you things. I'm not used to being so vulnerable around humans. But you… Bella you have changed me for the better. I am sorry about today and tonight. I was only trying to show you a nice night out…" I took his hand, he turned to face me. I saw sadness and shame in his eyes. I leaned in and brushed my lips across his, "Don't worry, I am sorry as well. You are the most _amazing_ guy I've ever dated. You are me and I am you. That's just how it is, Edward, and I appreciate what you did tonight. Thank you." I said, smiling at him gently. His jaw tightened and then he smiled my favorite crooked smile. I hadn't seen it in ages. "I love you." I whispered, and he whispered it back as we pulled out of the parking lot. "Let's go back to Charlie's house?" I offered as we got on the freeway. He nodded, "Are you sure? I mean… the last time… he had some problems." he smiled to himself and I just laughed out loud.

"I have to stop at home to get clothes and some stuff. I don't think the neighbors would approve if I left in the wee ours of the morning, still wearing the same things… not mention me leaving out the window so chief swan doesn't attack me." Edward said, smiling. I shook my head, well can I borrow the car to get back to my house, before you get there. So I can like… get Charlie off to bed.. If not already?" I said, laughing at how I had to sneak my fiancé into my father's house… and then into my bedroom. He nodded in agreement and within minutes we were pulling up in front of his house. "On second thought, can I just wait here for you?" I said, not feeling as confident as I was before. I heard him chuckling as he was opening my door. I still wasn't used to how fast he could moved. I got out and he pulled me into his chest, I sighed at the touch of his cool skin. It should scare me off, but instead, it brought me comfort. I was starting to say something when his lips met mine, it was slow and urgent at the same time. I was scared stiff, but he softened the kiss and I pulled away reluctantly.

I didn't see it coming, it looked like it came out of nowhere. Edward went flying into the darkness to my left. I stood, motionless, staring out after him. My scream was stuck in my throat and I lost all movement of my limbs. I stood there, and then I saw it. It was huge, I don't know what it was. It was big, no -scratch that- it was _huge_ and _fury_. I started to back away and then I saw it bare its teeth. Tears filled my eyes and I broke out into a sprint after Edward. He was laying on the ground at the foot a huge cedar tree. I knelt down, but, before I could reach out to help him, I was being pulled up by huge, fury, muscular arms. I screamed out in terror, "LET ME GO!!" I started to kick and scream; he shook me and I fell silent as I saw Edward start to move. The creature dropped me and I scurried away back to the front lawn. I got in the car and locked the doors. I cried, I didn't know what to do. I reached into the dashboard and grabbed a screwdriver. I clenched my hand around it until my knuckles were whiter than usual. I jumped out of the car and broke out into a dead run toward Edward and the…but as I was able to get a closer look, I could see that there was more than just one of them… it looked like a whole group. I kept running and jabbed into the thigh of one; he yelped and fell to the ground. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle, Emmet, and Jasper running towards us. He was stronger than me, he reached up and smacked me away. I felt myself become airborne and then I smashed into something. But I couldn't concentrate. The only thing I remember was that Esme was over me, and Alice…


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: lovers and friends . . .**

I don't remember much of what had happened. It was dark and everything was happening so fast. I couldn't see anything, but I sensed people around me. "STOP IT! Can't you see, you stupid dogs? You've hurt her." it was Edward's voice. I tried to call out to him, then something touched my face and I felt myself squirm away. "Don't struggle, you'll make it hurt more." it was Carlisle. I listened to him and forced myself to stay calm. Then, slowly, but surely, I gained my sight back. I saw Edward sitting by my face, he held my hand. So delicately that I hadn't realized he had it. I tried to smile at him, but he looked away, agony and sadness covering his features. He pulled his face together and smiled a tight, forced smile at me. I frowned and moved my hand to his face, "I'm alright, don't worry." I said, it came out in a whisper. He put his hand over mine and covered his eyes. I heard an ambulance in the distance and then flashing, bright lights were everywhere. "What's going on?" I asked, but they moved Carlisle out of the way. Edward fought to stay by my side, and succeeded. I was scared and reached out for Edward's hand again.

"Don't leave me!" I said, panicking now. He shook his head and gave me my favorite crooked smile. That's when I saw them. The group of people, Jacob was who I could identify. He looked sad, but I couldn't figure out _why_. Then the doors to the ambulance closed behind Edward and the paramedic. I don't remember much of what happened next. I think I fell asleep, but when I awoke, it was under painfully bright, fluorescent lights. "Be careful…" Edward was saying as he helped me finish sitting up. God I hurt, everywhere for the most part. "What… where am I?" I asked, looking under the covers to check for damage. Nothing too bad, just some bruises nothing too drastic. I breathed a sigh of relief. He was watching me, I turned to look at him, "Oh my, Edward are _you_ okay?" I asked, reaching out to touch his face. He looked away, "I'm fine, Bella. But you were… you were hurt pretty badly. Nothing was broken, but you're bruised _everywhere_." he gestured up and down my body with a quick sweep of his hand. I shook my head, "Bruises heal, I saw them… I saw Jacob. What was he doing there?"

"We will talk about this at another time. You don't need to worry. He wont be bothering you anymore." he said with a dark look in his eyes. There was a knock on the door. I jumped, it startled me and I heard Edward let a low grumble out, I looked at him and called for whoever it was to come in. _Jacob_. "Oh, um… what are you doing here, Jacob?" I asked, full of surprise. "I… well I wanted to talk to you -he glanced at Edward- alone." Edward rose, black fury all over his face, his eyes were completely black. "Not a chance in hell. Get out…" I touched Edward's arm, "Don't… it wont help, Edward, you know this. Please, sit. -I turned to Jacob- Whatever you have to say, you can say with him here…" I finished, sitting up all the way. I held my side as I tried to breathe. "Well, since you guys wont start up anything, Jacob… why were you at Edward's house last night?" he stood by the door. He was trembling, "It doesn't matter. I just came to apologize. I hadn't realized how close… well how close you and Edward _really _were. But … well I guess I will leave you two alone. Goodbye, Bells." he turned and stalked out of the room.

"What the hell was that all about?" I asked, my voice rising a couple of octaves in the process. I turned toward Edward, I felt my temper flaring. "Bella, he isn't safe to be around. It's for the best." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I turned away, tears beginning to fill my eyes. "This is ridiculous, what happened last night? I wasn't all the way there, but I do remember parts. I want to the truth, no sparing of my feelings."

Edward sighed, "Jacob came over, he saw us in the dark. When I kissed you he thought… he thought -He swallowed hard- he thought that I was changing you. He flipped out and it didn't help that his friends were there. Jacob and I were fighting, I was trying to protect you but one of his friends lost his temper and attacked you. He thought you were one of us and pushed you away…" he sighed, "You remember the rest, nothing much happened after the. We tried to stop the bleeding and then the ambulance got there and I left with you." I gulped and stared off at the wall, "But how could they take _you_ down?" I asked stupidly. "Bella, you already know that answer. But I wont say anymore, I answered you. Rest please?" and he kissed me on the forehead. I leaned back as he went over to the makeshift bed that was made in the corner.

Charlie walked in, "Bells -relief washed over his face- I'm so glad to see you awake. Your mother couldn't make it, Phil, I guess was hurt. They are stuck in New York, but she sends her love and wishes she could be here." I groaned, "Char- Dad. It's okay, how are you doing? I'm alright -I held my hand up- don't worry. I'm strong. I'll make it through." I smiled at him and found myself not having to force it. I was happy to see Charlie, I hadn't realized how much he cared about me. "I have to work today, but I'll be back later… I promise." Charlie said, as Dr. Carlisle Cullen walked in. "That wont be necessary Chief Swan. Bella will be able to go home within the day. I'm sure you will see here then. But don't fret, she is just fine. She just took a nasty spill, a few cuts and bruises, nothing too serious." Carlisle added with a smile and a wink.

I smiled back, "See dad, just fine. I'm a tough cookie to crack." I said with a genuine laugh. They all joined in with me and Carlisle checked my chart again and then left, with Charlie. I laid back, sighing. "I'm so sorry Bella, I didn't want any of this to happen." I patted the bed next to me, "Lay with me? Please…" I asked and Edward laid next to me. I rested my head on his chest, "Please don't beat yourself up over this, I could have fallen down stairs and hurt myself worse." I felt him chuckle, "Yes, but this was caused because of something that had to do with me, not because you are unbearably clumsy." I punched him softly, not wanting to hurt myself further. I felt his lips on my hair and then I felt my pulse quicken.

"So, how's about when I get out of here, we go get some real food?" I asked, glaring at the disgusting tray of so-called food that the nurse had left on the table next to Edward. He shrugged, "If you feel up to it, but, Bella… I don't know if I'm any good for you…" he said, self pity emanating from him. "What? You cant say stuff like that to me… I mean, I love you and you love me… you are good for me…" he patted my back, "I'm not leaving, where else am I going to go?" he said, looking into my eyes. I pushed away from him and sat up. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Then I opened it back up, "Is there anyways that I can get my clothes?" he nodded and walked out of the room. A few moments later he walked in with them and tossed the bag to me. I was grateful for his connections. "Thanks."

I washed up in the sink and dressed quickly and then went back out into the room. Edward sat flipping through channels on the television. He held his arms open for me and I walked over and sat on his lap. I reached up and kissed him gently. "I'm sorry this all happened. I know you feel bad, but it's not really your fault. You may feel that it is, but it's not." he touched my face and then ran his fingers down my neck, I shivered at his touch. I smiled at him and he leaned forward rubbing his nose on mine. _Eskimo kisses_.

"Bella, you are too good…" he said and rose, placing me down in the chair. "But we should get going, its quite a drive back to Seattle…" he said. _Seattle? What? It didn't make sense, was it time to go back already?_ "What?" I ask, dumbfound, as I curled up in the chair. "We have school Monday, you cant afford to miss any. Besides, you miss dancing.. You've dreamt about it a lot lately…" I sighed, "Of course -I laughed- I'm ready for this vacation to be over.." I got up and stretched.

It was a couple hours before they let me leave the hospital. But once I was able, Edward drove us to the police station, I wanted to say goodbye. "Hey Dad… how are you?" Charlie was in the middle of eating his lunch. He smiled up at me, "Hey Bells, feeling pretty good. You're looking good. Edward." he said, tossing the remnants of his lunch in the trash can. "Well, what can I do for you kids?" I smiled, "Well, we actually have to get on our way back to Seattle. School starts back up Monday. Time flies… but I promise to come back as soon as I can." I finished, beginning to actually feel sad about leaving Charlie. "Oh. Well of course, have a safe trip… be careful you two." he said standing up. I reached over and gave him a hug, "I'll miss you dad, come see us sometime…" I pulled back and Edward took his hand in a brisk, manly handshake. Charlie pulled his hand back and flexed his fingers.

We left shortly after. Alice and Jasper had shown up, "BELLA!" Alice called in her whimsical voice, I smiled and ran over to her. We hugged and I smiled back at Jasper, "Hi." he turned his gaze back to me, "Hello." Then I saw Rosalie and Emmet. I stopped in my tracks and bumped into Edward. He steadied me by gripping my upper arms. I blushed and stepped aside. "Rose - Bella…" he swept his hand between us. "Hiya, Bella. Nice to see ya again" Emmet said, laughing at me. I grimaced and waved back at him. "Well, we better get on our way, we don't want to be late coming home." Edward said. Then Alice threw in, with her cheery voice, "And I hear the weather's supposed to turn for the worse later tonight and early tomorrow…"

We all got into our cars, but my mood wasn't the best it could have been. I was sad that I had to leave Charlie, and I was also sad that I had caused him so much worry and pain the last time he had seen me. But the bright side of the whole situation is that I get to go back to Seattle and dance. Dancing was my life, it made me happy and cleared my mind so that I could think straight. _Maybe I'll dance once I get back if it's not too late. I need to think.. I need to feel my body.. Be in contact with my inner self._ I thought to myself. I rested my head against the window of his Volvo and closed my eyes. "Bella, what's wrong?" Edward was asking me, his voice sounded like it was coming to me through a very long, and narrow tunnel. "Huh? No… wait I mean yes. I'm fine, why would you ask?" I sat up straighter, looking at him. He shook his head and took my hand.

"I was just thinking about Jacob. I don't see how any of that could have happened. I mean.. I don't understand any of that." I said, staring out the window. It had started to rain, but I couldn't care less. "You don't need to understand everything right now. This whole situation doesn't really concern you. It's a long history, and I.. well I don't think it would be good if you were to be involved in this… especially if you don't need to be." I glared. "I know that Jacob has a secret, I just cant remember what. And I'm pretty sure that if I ask him.. He wont tell me and you wont tell me. So I guess I'll just drop this…" I said, knowing full well that it wasn't over yet. I was just going to have to find other sources.

I guess I had fallen asleep again because I woke up in Edward's arms. He was carrying me into the dorm of S.C.A.D.S. I forced my eyes open and he smiled down at me, "Hey… I didn't want to wake you… I hope you don't mind…" he whispered as he pushed the button to the elevator. I shook my head, my voice husky with sleep, "Let me walk, I need to stretch my muscles…" I said. He set me carefully down and we walked onto the elevator. He kept a distance between us, but I closed it by reaching out, searching for his hand. "I'm sorry about in the car. I know that you mean well…" I smiled lazily up at him and he gave me one of my favorite, crooked smiles.

"Don't worry about it, love. I know how you are when you get a good… well lets see, a are given a good _mystery_" he said, wiggling his eyebrows. I laughed and shook my head. "Yeah, I guess you're right." We got off the elevator and into the cool hallway. "Well, I guess this is it." I said, rocking back and forth on my heels. This was like the first time me and Edward hadn't spent together for a whole week and some. He smiled down at me and took my hands in his. He bent his head down and brushed his lips across mine gently. I smiled against his, and kissed him harder. He pressed me up against my door and I sighed. "I love you…" I said as he ran his hand up my back, his breathing coming shorter and shorter. "I know, I love you too, Bella…" I pulled away after that. "Goodnight" I said, breathless and backed into my room. He looked as though he had lost his dog, and I laughed at him. "I'll be here in the morning, I promise." and I took his hand briefly before dropping it and closing the door.

I sat at the door and slid to the floor. Alice wasn't in the room so I undressed in the room and grabbed my towel and went into the bathroom. The shower felt amazing, I hadn't realized how tense I was. My shampoo brought memories of my mom back and I smiled to myself remembering how scattered brained she was and then I remember that Phil was there to take care of her. I got out and dressed in some silky pajamas that Alice had insisted that I keep. I sat on my bed, 10:20 p.m. was the time my alarm clock showed. I fell back onto my pillows. I rummaged through my purse that sat next to me and pulled out my cell. I checked my messages. Angel called. I clicked talk and listened to the ringing of the phone…

_**Collins: -voice husky; most likely from being asleep- "Hello?"**_

_**Bella: "Collins? Oh, I'm sorry for waking you, but is Angel there…?"**_

_**Collins: "Oh, Bella? Don't worry about it. You know you can call us anytime you want… hang on I'll go get her."**_

_**Bella: "Okay…"**_

_**Angel: "Hey, honey, how are you? What's up?"**_

_**Bella: -smiling into the phone- "Hey, I'm… alright. How are you? Did I disturb you from work or something?"**_

_**Angel: "Oh, goodness no, I was just catching up on some reading, and listening to Roger's new mix tape he made for Mimi."**_

_**Bella: -laughing out loud- "Interesting, actually.. I called to get some advice. Do you think I'm moving too fast with the whole engagement thing? I mean Edward is a great guy.. And boy am I crazy for him…"**_

_**Angel: -sighing- "No, actually, I don't think you are moving too fast. You only find love like that once in your lifetime if you are even lucky enough to discover it. But I see the way he looks at you and he adores you. You are his world and how could I be against that? I just hope you are happy with the decision. Are you?"**_

_**Bella: "Well.. Yeah, I am actually. Which scares me because I'm usually the rational thinker in everything and this time, I don't know what is going to happen in the future. I'm scared, but, I guess that's normal"**_

_**Angel: "Well, then, I guess you are making the right decision. Don't second guess yourself because your first answer is always the right one. Be spontaneous…"**_

_**Bella: "Thanks. I appreciate this. Well I guess I should get some -someone knocks on the door-…"**_

_**Angel: "What's wrong?"**_

_**Bella: "Nothing, someone is just at the door. Well I will let you go, and I will talk to you sooner than later. Send my apologies once again to Collins and send my love to everyone… kisses. Bye"**_

I hit the end button and got up reluctantly off of the bed and went to the door. I opened it and his lips found mine within a second or two. I scooped me up in his arms and kicked the door closed, locking it. I smiled up at him, and kissed him again. I hadn't realized how much I missed him until this very moment. "You're going to get in so much trouble, Edward." I said, between his kisses. He shook his head as he laid me back on my bed, clearing the stuff off. "I don't care, I cant spend the night without you."

He kissed my jaw line all the way down to my neck. "It nearly drove me crazy just walking back to my room. Then I decided, since Alice was staying with Jasper, that I would stay with you…" he said, smiling devilishly down at me. I laughed, "Well, I missed you too. But I don't want you to get into trouble." I said, reaching up to pull his face back to mine. Excitement flooded his eyes and he kissed me slow, and passionately. My heart stopped and then picked up in double time. "Mmmm…" I said, rolling to my side, making him lay on his. I looked him in the eye, and studied him. "Tell me you love me, and don't want to be with anyone but me…" he chuckled and nudged me under my chin, "Isabella Marie Swan… soon to be Cullen, I love you and I never want to spend another day of my life without you. I never want anyone else but you, no one can compare…" he kissed me again and I laughed softly. "Okay, Well then. I _guess_ you can stay here tonight." I finished playfully.

He growled in my ear and began kissing me again. I heard my heart pounding in my ears, and pushed me back onto the bed. I sighed and pulled myself away a little; Edward settled down next to me. He caressed my cheek with the lightest of touches. I laughed softly as he hitched my leg up around his hip. Edward began exploring my leg and found my lips with his. I felt my heart skip a beat and start to beat into overtime and everywhere Edward touched me, my skin felt like it was on fire. I leaned forward and kissed him again, then pulled away. "Wait… stop; I think we are moving too fast…" I let the statement trail off as I sat up more. "What do you mean?" he asked, pulling my face back to his. "I mean, this is all moving too fast for me. The engagement… everything…" I glared out the window over Alice's bed and then brought my eyes back to his. Confusion and anger was all I could find in his face.

"So you're not afraid of me and my vampire family, but because we are moving too fast…" he got off the bed angrily and paced across the room. "Wow, Bella, you have perfect timing you know. Just amazing, you couldn't have told me this sooner?" he finished, staring at me from no more than a foot away from my face. I slid back across the bed, "It's not like I'm leaving you or anything. I just… well I just want to slow things down…a little bit." I said, wiping at the warmth pooling in my eyes. His face softened and he reach out for me, I reached back and he lifted me up in a hug. I buried my face in his chest and collected myself.

"I don't know what to do about you anymore, Bella. You drive me crazy… and that's not just a figure of speech. I have trouble thinking coherently when I'm around you, and then you bring this up on me. Maybe we should take a break…let things cool down for a while…" he said, looking away out the window. I fell back onto the bed, nodding. "Maybe, but how long?" he shrugged, "I don't really know. Maybe a week… I've never really dated anyone…" he sat down on Alice's bed and put his head in his hands. I slid over and sat next to him, resting my hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what to tell you, it's going to be hell trying to stay away, but we need to cool things a little between us… but there are other ways…" I just dropped it because he was staring at me, curiosity burning deep in his eyes, "Is this really what you want?" he asked. I just shrugged and rested my head against his shoulder. "I don't know what I want anymore… I'm all mixed up now a days, and now I don't feel good and…" I couldn't finish my sentence because I was running for the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before everything spewed out of me. I sat on the floor for a while.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward was walking into the bathroom slowly, eyeing my face carefully. I nodded and stood up, flushing the toilet. I rinsed my mouth out and went to splash water on my face. Edward whipped me around and took me into a big, bone crushing hug. He grabbed a towel and wiped my face slowly, then kissed my forehead. "As much as I know we are moving too fast, I don't want to be away from you. Let's talk this through… we don't even have to talk marriage anymore. I'll take the ring back, and put it away until you're ready… and I mean truly ready." I shook my head, giggling. "Don't be stupid. I'm not going to let you take _my_ ring back and wait to get it until later. I'll wear this forever…" I pulled away from him and went back into the room, pulling him along. I laid down on my bed and pulled him down with me. He pulled me closer, rubbing soothing circles into my back. He started to sing a soft, slow song in my hair. I felt his cool breath ruffle it. "I love you, and I'm sorry…" I said, yawning. He kissed my head, "Don't worry about it. I'll love you forever, always… no matter what." I felt him sigh. I was out of it by then, getting sick and all the stress of the conversation was exhausting. I closed my eyes and fell into the dark void of sleep.

I woke up to the familiar cloudy morning of Seattle, Washington. It was just like any other morning before, except I had the love of my life laying next to me. I sat up, moving over Edward to see my alarm clock. He stirred and rolled onto his side. I heard his breathing even out again. I slid off the bed and tiptoed into the bathroom. I relieved myself and walked to the mirror. _You look like shit_, I said to my reflection in the mirror. I grimaced and stepped into the shower, I made it hasty and got out within 15 minutes. Record time for me. I dressed in a pair of track pants and form fitting Broadway shirt. It was comfortable and then I went to blow dry my hair. I walked out into the bedroom again and Edward still sleeping. I nudged his shoulder and he rolled over, grasping me in his arms and rolling back over. I yelped and his hand instinctively came to my mouth. "Shhh… Good morning, Bella. How are you?" he said sitting up. I shook my head and nudged him off the bed. "So not funny, I thought something was wrong… and I'm fine. Thanks for asking. But you should get going and get dressed before breakfast. I'll meet you at the elevator in say…" I stopped and watching him stretch. His shirt hugging tightly across his chest revealing all of his defined muscles. "How about you give me 15 minutes and I'll meet you at the elevator?" he said, cocking his eyebrow and grabbing his keys.

"It works for me. See you then…" we kissed goodbye and then he was gone. I fell back on my bed and closed my eyes. Life was good, but too good to be true. Things like this just don't happen for me. I pushed that thought from my mind and got up reluctantly and opened the window. I needed fresh air. The air outside was warm, a slight breeze ruffled through my hair and I sighed. I could smell the rain in the air, it was only a matter of time. I pulled away from the window and closed it again. I snatched my cell and bag up off my bed and headed out the door. I ran into a girl, knocking her books all over the floor. "Oh… oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm always so clumsy-" the girl went on and on. I smiled up at her, "No. No, I'm sorry. It was totally my fault, don't worry about it." I bent down and helped her pick her books up. "Thanks. Hi, I'm Jessica. You are…?" she held her hand out, "I'm Bella, nice to meet you." I took her hand, she seemed nice enough. "Well, I'll see you around. Bye." I waved to her and began down the hallway. "Hey, wait. Do you want to like get some coffee or something?" she said, smiling. "I wish I could, but I'm headed to breakfast with my boyfriend -fiancé; I corrected myself- this morning, and I have to practice after that. But well this is my room, stop by and we can hang sometime after dinner." she nodded and turned the other way. Edward stood smiling up against the elevator door. "Hello Beautiful." he bent down and kissed my forehead, I snatched his hand and held it tight. I twined our fingers together and pushed the button for the elevator.

I sighed when it stopped on the second floor. Rosalie and Emmet got on. "Hey.. Ha.. Hey Bella, how are you this morning? Ready for breakfast?" he asked, the sarcasm so deep that I needed a knife to cut it. His face went smug when I didn't answer. The elevator stopped on the main floor and I attempted to dart out of the elevator, but to no avail, I tripped on the grip where the doors were. I fell, half expecting to break my face on the tiled floor and half waiting for the laughter Emmet was sure to give me. Instead, Edward grabbed my arm -tighter than he should have- and held me, keeping me from hitting the floor. "You should look where you're going first… and you -he turned to Emmet- should leave her alone." he said, his voice was dark. Emmet just laughed and then Rosalie stepped in and glowered at Edward, squaring up to her. I hadn't realized how tall she was until she stood face to face with Edward. Although she wore prissy heals and was always worried about her clothes, the look on her face would make even the most bad-assed girls run with fear.

I pulled at his arm and he broke the stare. Then Rosalie and him both broke out in a round of laughter. Emmet and I just stared at each other. "What are you eating to day, Bella?" Edward asked, grabbing a tray and two plates. I shrugged, "A bagel? Mmmm and some yogurt…" I said, helping him put it on the plate. I grabbed some orange juice and tried to pay, but he pushed me away playfully and swiped his credit card. "Err.. Thanks…" he just smiled and escorted me to the table. I sat next to Alice, who was curled up, resting in Jasper's arms. "Hey, Alice." I said with a warm smile as I sat down, "Jasper…" I nodded his way. Edward sat next to me, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Eat up." he said, stirring around his eggs and ripping apart his bacon. I smiled to myself and slowly age my yogurt. It wasn't what I thought it would be, so I moved onto my bagel. It was alright, so I ate it faster and then chugged down my O.J.

I sat back, pulling my legs up into the chair with me. Rosalie and Emmet had left halfway through, claiming they had to study for an English test. Alice and Jasper were in their own little world. I smiled over at Edward, "I'm going to go and warm up for my first hour class…" I stood up reluctantly and stretched, reaching over to grab my plate and his tray. He brushed his fingers across my left hand, "I'll catch up to you later…" he said, smiling a crooked smile at me. "Okay…" I said in a whisper and walked off.

I went back up to my room and grabbed my dance bag and headed out for the studio. Dark storm clouds rolled over the sky making it look like dusk. I opened the door to the studio, it was cooler in there than outside and I turned on the lights. I started to set up and I forgot that I left my CD's up in my room. Oh well, I turned on the radio and some fast tempo pop music began to play. I stepped to the bar and began to stretch, taking my time. I hadn't realized how much my body missed this. I stretched a little while longer and then moved over to the middle of the floor and stretched my back muscles. I got up and began with a basic routine. Taking my time, I sped up and began more complicated moves, I twirled and dipped and glided around the room. Then, exhausted all too soon, I fell to the floor, my breathing heavy. I sat back on the floor, waiting for my breathing to even out. Eventually it did and I got up and started again. I heard the bell ring.

Kids began filing in one after another, some in groups, others just by themselves. I sat back down on the floor and turned the radio off. "Ah, Miss Swan, how are you this morning?" a smiling Mr. Herzberg asked. I smiled back, "Fine. And yourself?" he just smiled and continued onto the front of the class. A girl sat down next to me and tossed her bag to the side. I curled my legs up to my chest and turned to greet her. "Hi, Bella. I'm Jessica.. We met this morning?" I beamed, "Oh my gosh, this is so.. Cool." I said, and she smiled back at me. "Wow, it's cool to know someone in this class for once. Most of the preps take this class and they are too stuck up to notice anyone out of the cliques." she said with a grimace. "Well, we're here. Partners for the class? And yeah, I know what you mean. I was actually bracing myself for the misery of the atmosphere, but I'm glad to have to dance." I finished. We let conversation drop and watched carefully as our teacher went through the moves we were to practice for the hour. It would be easy because I had already mastered these, so now I could just practice some more. Jessica stood and stretched out. I joined her, although not pushing myself to the extremes. She had obviously mastered the move as well so we kind of blew it off and just chatted. She was easy going and supplied most of the conversation, but it was still all the same. It was nice to know someone, she was kind of easy to get along with, but she had a way about her that made people not want to be around her. She was snooty to others who were different than her and very envious. "Hey, what's your next class?" I asked after a while. She smiled up at me, "Umm… Creative Writing with … Miss Stewart?" she finished, putting her schedule on the floor next to her. I smiled, "Wow, well I guess I will see you next block." We laughed and then were released to change. I changed and waited for Jessica to finish. The bell rang moments later and we walked out together, chatting cheerily, even though the weather was depressing.

Edward stood outside the building underneath a tree. I didn't notice him until he came up and grabbed my hand. I smiled up at him as he kissed me gently on the lips. "Hello beautiful." he said, his voice soft like velvet. "Hey. Edward, this is Jessica…and Jessica, this is Edward." I moved my hand between them. Edward stopped, "Hello, it's nice to meet one of Bella's friends." he said, his voice very polite. Jessica just stood there, her mouth gaping open. I couldn't help but laugh at her, "Jess, what lunch do you have?" I asked, breaking her from her moment of awe. "Umm… well.. Second lunch. Sorry, what lunch do you have?" I smiled, "Same. Maybe I'll see you there…" I let conversation drop as I glared up at Edward. He was smiling from ear to ear. I nudged him in the side, knowing it would only help me but he laughed and I stumbled over my own foot. "Be careful, I'll see you next class Bella. I have to get to my art class." he kissed my for a short moment, but it was enough to get my blood pulsing through my veins. I blushed and nodded. "Goodbye Jessica, nice to meet you again." he smiled at her and walked off.

"Wow!" Jessica said as we sat down at a desk. "That's… well that's your _boyfriend?_" she asked, her voice raising in the process. I motioned for her to bring it down some, then replied, "Yeah, well.. He's sort of more than just my boyfriend, but yes. Edward is my boyfriend." Her eyes bulged out of her head and then she grabbed my hand, dazzled by the small oval shaped diamond ring that held its place on my ring finger. "Wow, you are like _the_ luckiest person in this school. Edward Cullen _never_ dated anyone here before. Not since like ever, and then here you come and your rocking this." she said laughing and shaking her head. "Congratulations" she finally finished. "Thanks, although we aren't really what you're thinking. I mean yeah, I'm wearing this, but we are just boyfriend and girlfriend. It's a complicated story, but yeah. Hey -I was grasping for a subject change- what about you? Do you have a lucky guy??" I asked, reaching in my bag for a pen and notebook to copy the notes off the board.

I saw her frown in my peripheral vision, and I frowned to myself. She was a nice girl, who knows. The bell for class rang all too soon. I jumped in my seat when I heard it. We gathered our stuff in silence and walked out. "What's wrong?" I asked her, I felt bad because I had brought this mood upon her. She shook her head, "Nothing. I just wish I had an amazing guy like you do. Wow, I mean _Edward Cullen_. Who would have known." I laughed at her statement and she joined in with me. Edward was waiting outside of the building. I smiled up at him, and he twined his fingers with mine. "Jess, are you going to join us for lunch?" she stared out onto campus, thinking I assumed. "Why don't we join her for lunch, Bella?" Edward cut in after a moment. I shrugged, "Would you like that better?" she smiled at me. "Well, I've got some work to catch up on, another day. See you around, Bella. Edward…" and she turned and walked away.

I sulked where I stood and Edward laughed, pulling me toward a tree and then pulling me down to the ground. I cuddled up under his arm and closed my eyes. "I wonder what was wrong with her?" I asked out loud, more to myself than anyone else. I felt him shrug, "She was just nervous and she did have work to finish. Her mind has been on it all day." he said with a smug tone. I nudged him, "Spying, are we? That's not right…" he shrugged, "I was worried about you… and… well I missed you, a little bit that is." I laughed and fell back so that I was laying on the ground. "Edward Cullen, most certainly did _not_ miss me." I said, stretching my arms above my head. He grimaced and got up, walking away, faster than usual. I sat up, flabbergasted. I felt guilty for what I said, although I was just kidding. I would have to talk to him later. I got up and ran toward my next class. I was one of the first people to file into the room. I moved toward the back of the class at an empty table. I sat down and rummaged through my bag. I saw Edward walk into my class, I thought he would sit next to me, but instead… he sat next to some random girl. She was at least a year younger than me, with curly hair and thick glasses. I frowned and turned to face the front of the room, staring down at my desk. He didn't seem to notice me at all, but I was super aware of him. We ended up watching a movie for the first half of the class. I felt myself dozing off until the bright, fluorescent lights came on. I sat up in my chair. The teacher, Mrs. Mead was explaining a group assignment we were doing. I groaned inwardly.

I didn't know what to do, so the safest thing was to just sit there. I pretended to be looking for something in my bag when the guy in front of my turned around. "Hey. How's it going?" he asked, his voice too deep for his childish features. I smiled, "Hi. I'm doing.. Alright, yourself?" He had a beautiful smile, one that would make any girl's heart stop. "Better now that I'm talking to you. Hey, I was wondering, do you want to work in my group?" I thought this over quickly, "Sure. Why not." I said, smiling. Edward was staring at me from across the room and I tried to act like I was oblivious to the fact. The bell ran shortly after that. "So what do you want to do our project on?" I asked. For the American History class, we were supposed to study a time period or series of events that happened in history. Research and write a paper, as well as find a creative way to present it to the class. Not that difficult, but just time consuming. "I don't know. The rest of them are not sure either. We figured we would start on it this weekend, I mean two weeks is a lot of time to work. Besides, no need to jump right into it…" I smiled

"Yeah, sure. I understand, works for me." I finished, walking out into the cool afternoon air. He was a good with conversations and he had to the funniest person ever. We walked into the lobby of the building and I was clutching my stomach. Edward was there, sulking against the wall near the elevator. He stared at me, his eyes seeming to bore right through me. My skin burned where his eyes roamed over me. I pulled my eyes from his face to the floor. "Hey, sorry.. I almost forgot to give you my number…" he said as we stood there. I smiled up at him, he was really cute. I took his number and gave him mine. "Oh, and…what's your name?"

Edward pushed himself away from the wall and stalked over to us. "Her name is Bella, and I'm afraid she has to go now. Goodbye." he grabbed my hand, twining his fingers with mine and pulled me away. I followed, to shocked to do anything else. "Edward, let me go. Edward!" I tried to yank my hand free. He stopped and turned away from me, "Bella, what was that back there?" he asked in a whisper once we were in the elevator. "What are you talking about?" I asked, my voice rising in agitation. He turned and glared at me, "That.. _conversation_ you were having with _Michael Rady_. What was that?" he finished, reaching for my hand again. I yanked my hand away, "Edward, what's wrong with you? _**You**_ were the one who totally blew me off at lunch and.. Well and then you totally blew me off in our last class. And then I talk to this guy…" I was so frustrated, I walked out of the elevator and stalked off to my room.

He followed behind me and stopped outside my door. "Bella, I'm.. sorry. I really am. Please, don't be mad at me…" I looked at him and immediately regretted it. His eyes were somber and that made me feel even worse for what I was about to do. I opened the door and walked in, stopping and standing in front of the door. "Goodbye, Edward. I will… see you later." and I shut the door behind me. I walked over to my bed and dropped down on it. Tears sprang in my eyes. Why did we have to fight today?

I finished my homework a couple hours later and I sat back, pushing my books and bag off my bed. I stretched out and sighed. Alice looked over at me, "Bella, you know he means the best. He just worries… too much sometimes, but don't worry, this will pass." she crossed the room and laid next to me. I scooted over and gave her more room. "I don't know Alice, what if this doesn't pass over as easy as you think?" I asked, looking at her; she glared at me. "Seriously, Bella? I mean I've seen your future and you guys are still together and happy. Don't worry about this.. It's just a minor set back -she grabbed my hand- he'll get off his high horse." I laughed, "I suppose you are right, but I don't know. I just .. Well I miss him. It's weird not having him here tonight." I sighed and sat up. "Should we head down to dinner?" I asked, walking into the closet. I brushed my hair out and put a headband on and grabbed my purse again. Alice was waiting for me by the door. "I think I might sit with Jessica tonight, you want to join me?" I asked, sounding overly hopeful.

She shrugged, "Sure, Bella. If you want me to, I have no problem." she said indifferently. I smiled and grabbed her arm. We walked down the hall toward the elevator. I took out my phone and started to call Jessica. I hung up as she ran down the hall to catch the elevator with me. "Hey, Jess. How are you?" I asked. She smiled at me, "I'm doing alright…" she answered, eyeing Alice with a curious look. "Oh, Alice.. This is Jessica. Jessica.. This is Alice, and well.. I was wondering if we could eat with you tonight?" I asked. She shrugged, "I don't mind, it's up to you guys, really…" she let her statement trail off as Edward and Emmet walked onto the elevator as well. I rolled my eyes toward the ceiling as Edward walked back to stand next to me. I felt his arm brush mine and my heart began to beat overtime. I glanced up at him and his face looked hurt.

We reached the cafeteria finally and I walked with Jessica, Alice, Emmet, and Edward to the Cullen's table. Alice was talking to Jasper briefly and he seemed indifferent about it. I started up a conversation with Jessica again so that I could avoid Edward. He looked hurt still and his eyes were so depressing. Rosalie threw me a dirty look as Emmet sat down next to her. I glowered at her and turned my back. She was such a bitch, and I don't even know what I did wrong to deserve this from her. Edward sat down and put his feet up in the chair, crossing his arms as I walked away with Jess and Alice.

I got a Greek salad and some fruit with a water and then followed them back to Jessica's normal table. I curled up in the chair and picked at my food. Jessica sat with a table full of kids. There was Angela, Taylor, Tyler, Cody, and then the final face I realized was Michael from my American History class. We all chatted happily, all laughing while Michael made fun of some teacher that taught his whole class with spinach in his teeth. Although I was having a good time, I couldn't help not paying attention to Edward. He sat in the chair, in the same position as earlier; only this time his eyes were closed, but I suppose he felt my eyes on him because they shot open and moved toward me. I quickly looked away, eating some more and joining in with the story telling. I grew tired, but Alice looked like she could go all night. "Hey guys, I'm going to head out. I'm bushed and I've got some homework to finish up." I finished, picking my trash up and walking away, I heard them calling goodnights and goodbyes behind me.

I walked past Edward and then out the door. I was pushing the button for the elevator. I turned around and Edward was right there. "What are you doing here?" I asked, glowering at him. He didn't answer, he just took my hand and when I tried to pull away, he just squeezed tighter. I got on the elevator, pulling him with me. It was quiet up and I was very aware of my hand in his. We got off on my floor and I walked to my room. He didn't say anything to me until we were safely in my room, the door closed tightly behind us. "You've got to give me some answers.." I said finally. He was sitting on the chair at our small table, across from me. "I am sorry, Bella. I know that doesn't make what I did right, but it's got to count as something. Bella, I didn't mean to overreact, I just feel very protective over you…" he let it trail off. I looked down at my hands and pulled my legs up, wrapping my arms around them and resting my chin there. "I don't know what to tell you, Edward. I mean.. you overreacted today. I mean, I have to do the project and you were being unreasonable. By the way -I looked up at him- Why were you mad this afternoon? What did I do wrong?" I finished, putting my head back down. He sighed, "It wasn't you, I just had something on my mind. There is some stuff going on at home, but I don't think we need to worry about it anymore. But I really am sorry. Please, Bella, love… forgive me?" he finished, taking my hand in his. I blushed and he moved out of his chair, kneeling next to me.

I smiled down at him. "I'm sorry to, for slamming the door and-" he stopped my sentence, pressing his lips to mine gently. I sighed and ran my hand through his hair. "I love you, let's not let other stuff like this.. And earlier, get in our way again…" I said, still running my fingers through his naturally messy hair. He smiled my crooked smile and stood up. He lifted me up off the chair and into his arms. I laughed loudly and kissed him slowly. "What are you doing?" I asked, holding my side as he moved to my bed. "What I've wanted to do again since spring break…" he said, kissing me again as he laid down next to me. I blushed as he kissed my jaw and then ran his lips down my neck. "Are you -I gasped for air as he undid my pants- Are you sure about this? What if Alice-" he made speaking impossible as he began to kiss me again. This time slower, he pulled my shirt over my head and then I started to undo his shirt. I sat back pulling him overtop of me, kissing him deeper as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Then the knob on the door jiggled. I stopped moving and so did Edward. I laughed silently and Edward kissed me again. It was dark in the room as Alice walked in, she hit the switch and froze. I grabbed Edward's button down shirt and wrapped it around myself, smiling at Alice. She smiled back with wide eyes. Edward sat up and pulled me with it. He looked so damn sexy in his white tank shirt and black dress pants. He pulled me up into a standing stance and then I grabbed his hand, our fingers twining automatically. "Alice.. I owe you one." I said, winking at her as Edward pulled me out of the room. She turned around and closed the door behind us.

Edward pulled me faster down the hallway, heading toward the elevator. Jessica and Michael were there. Jessica stared wide eyed at me, I smiled back at her. Shit. They were waiting for the elevator as well. I looked up at Edward, excitement in his eyes, and he was watching me. He leaned down and kissed me again and I blushed deep scarlet. Jessica laughed and I blushed even deeper as we all got on the elevator. I pulled Edward's shirt tighter around myself as we waited for the doors to close. "Hey, Bella." Michael said, waving at me. I began to wave back at him, but the shirt gaped open and I just nodded in his direction. Edward ran his hand up my back and my knees felt weak. I grabbed his hand and held it firmly, a smile threatening to break through on his lips. "So I take it you wont be at your room tonight, Bella?" Jessica asked me. I shook my head, "Sorry, why?" I asked, fixing my tank shirt, so, that Edward's shirt could hang open. "Well Alice and I were going to hang out for a while is all. But I see… you and Edward made up.. Or are in the process of making up?" she said, laughing. I laughed with her, "Well, we could always hang out um.. Well Thursday seems to be a good day, how's that for you?" I asked, completely ignoring Michael. She laughed, "Of course, sounds great. I'll see you then.." she said. The elevator stopped on Edward's floor. I walked off, waving at them and Edward followed behind, putting his hands in both of mine and leaning around the side of my face to kiss me.

When we were a good ways away from view in the elevator, Edward scooped me up in his arms and jogged to his room. He opened the door and slid in, gently closing the door behind himself. "Hi Emmet" I said in a whisper as Edward turned around. "Hey, Bella…" he replied, with a laugh following shortly after. I blushed and Edward set me down on his bed.

I laughed a shaky laugh, feeling embarrassed. Emmet sat on the couch watching television, when Edward walked over and sat next to him. He leaned over and began to whisper something to Emmet. It was way too fast and quiet for me to even try to make out, so I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. I curled up into a ball, and then I felt Edward slide onto the bed with me. I sighed and turned to face him. "What happened to Emmet?" I asked, quietly. "Uh he went to stay with Rosalie, don't worry though, we have this room all to ourselves." he said, winking at me.

I stretched myself out, bumping into Edward. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his chest. He was ice cold, but it was a comfort for me. "I love you" I whispered to him. He didn't answer me, so I sat up to see what was wrong. I looked at his face and it was distorted. There was blood all over it and scratches everywhere. I reached out to touch him and he jumped at me, I screamed out in horror. I nearly fell on the floor, I jostled myself awake. _It was just a dream_, I said to myself over and over again. Edward shot up and grabbed me in his arms. He skin was ice cold against my bare skin. I shivered and hugged myself closer to him. I reached up to touch his face, it was all just like I remembered it. Perfect nose, beautiful cheekbones, perfect eyes… I sighed to myself and laid back on the bed, pulling the covers overtop of me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice straining to stay calm. I shook my head, "Nothing, absolutely nothing. I just had a startling dream." I smiled over at him, it was a genuine smile. He smiled back, his eyes still uncertain. I rolled over to face him, "I'm serious. I'm alright, okay? If anything is wrong I promise to tell you…" I let it trail as I ran my hands down his chest, and touching my lips to his. He sighed against them and I felt his lip tremble. I laughed out loud and grabbed the sheet, wrapping it around myself as I stood up. "Ah Bella, what are you doing?" he asked, rolling onto his back. I smiled and walked into the bathroom, laughing to myself. I came out, dressed in his shirt and my pants. The shirt hand open revealing my tank that showed a little cleavage. I felt too exposed so I kept pulling it closed. "I've got to go get dressed and ready for school, I'll meet you at breakfast…" I walked over and kissed him goodbye. "I'll be at your room in 10 minutes.." he said as I closed the door and left.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11: it cant be. . ._

_**I walked into my room, it was cooler than normal. The window was open. I walked over and closed it, glancing around the room looked like it hadn't been lived in for a while. I shrugged and went to get dressed. I was fixing the belt on my jeans when I heard the door swing open. I yelped and walked out to see who it was. "Sorry…" Edward said, walking towards me. I smiled and walked back into the closet. "You're early. Just give me a second." I said, bending over to grab my purse and cell phone. I walked back out messing with my hair. I tossed on a headband and walked over to Edward. He stood up from the table and hugged me. **_

_**I laughed and kissed him, walking out the door. Jessica was waiting in the hallway. "Hey Jess, How are you this morning?" I said with a cheery smile. She smiled back at me, "I'm alright, hi Edward. Oh Bella, do you mind if I eat with you this morning?" she asked. I felt my face drop. "Oh, well I was planning on sitting with you again at.. Your table.. But um…" she held a hand up. "We could sit at my table, I don't mind. Edward, you can join us if you want…" she said, smiling too friendly at him. I scowled up at him and he smiled. "Well, we better get a move on it…" I said, twining my fingers with Edwards and walking with Jess to the elevator.**_

_**It was a quiet event in the elevator and then Michael Rady got on and conversation struck up fast. "Bella! Hey how are you this morning?" he asked, I laughed. "I'm doing fine. How are you?" he lifted one shoulder and then let it fall. I nodded, Jess looked from me to Michael and then to Edward. I just shook my head and walked off the elevator. "Are you sitting with us this morning, Edward?" I asked. He didn't answer so I kept calling his name, then shook his arm. I saw his lip pull back over his teeth and pulled his face to mine, "What's wrong?" I asked, worried. He grabbed my hands and removed them from his face, I felt my heart racing. He stared at me for a minute and then forced a smile, all emotion gone from his face. "Nothing. I'll see you later." he said. Then with a long, passionate kiss he squeezed my hands and let me go. Watching him walk away I felt myself blush and I looked down at the floor. "So, lets get breakfast…" I said and walked toward the line.**_

"_**So what's with Edward?" Jessica asked as we made our way back to the table. I shrugged, "I have no freaking clue. He was fine and then Michael got on the elevator and he flipped when we walked in here…" I sat down next to a girl named Angela. She was nice, she smiled up at me, "Hi." she said, I laughed and greeted her back. I picked around at my food, I was starving this morning. I ate and laughed with my new friends. Michael started talking to me again about some new music band he had heard of. He spoke animatedly about it and even tried to play out some of the cords. I laughed silently to myself and turned to Angela, "Does he usually try to act everything out just for entertainment purposes?" I asked, stifling a laugh. She laughed with me, "Um for the most part… sadly, yes. Yes, he does." I mouthed the word wow**_** and turned back to my fruit salad and granola. It was pretty good. I finished it up and gulped down my orange juice.**

**The bell for our first block began, Jessica and I sat at the table for a few minutes as our table cleared. "I'm going to go catch up with Edward, meet you in class?" I said, standing and stretching. She nodded and headed out the door. I turned to walk to Edwards table, ditching my plate on my way. I sat down next to him and ran my hand across his cheek. "What's wrong?" I reached for his hand and he turned his head away from me. I sighed, "Edward, talk to me. What did I do wrong?" I saw him smile, and he stared at me through his peripheral vision. "Bella, love, you didn't do anything wrong. It was him. You… well you didn't hear the vile and disgusting things he was thinking…" he let his comment trail off. His eyes tightening and darkening. I rested my head against his shoulder. "Don't worry, my heart belongs to you…" I brought his face to mine and kissed him. He sighed against my lips and I pulled away. "I'll see you later. Cheer up." I stood up, resting my hand on his shoulder. He smiled his crooked smile at me and I walked away.**

**I was ten minutes late for class, my penalty, I had to sit out the class. It sucked, but I had had worse before. I sat and watched Jessica practice, and then I saw Michael. Had he been in this class the whole time? If not… when did he transfer in? I sat back against the wall and whipped out a book from another class. I heard the music stop and the room filled with mindless chatter. "Hey, Bella. How's it going?" I glared up at him, but he was smiling. "Fine." I answered curtly and turned away.**

"**Oh, I see. Well hey I'm sorry you were late. Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time with Cullen." he said, chuckling a little. I gaped at him, my mouth hanging wide open. "You can be so… heartless." I said, standing up and grabbing my bags. "Oh come on, you know I was just messing around." he said, reaching for my arm. I pulled it away. "Oh really? Funny how I didn't realize you were joking until you told me. That was very.." I was cut off. "Insensitive of you.. Jerk." Jessica finished, walking up behind me grabbing her bags. I smiled at her, "I can handle my own weight." I said laughing. She laughed with me and we walked away. "Yeesh, I'm sorry you guys. Forgive me?" We both turned to glare at him, but his childish features couldn't let you stay mad at him.**

**I walked out of the dance studio and into the cool spring weather. I was going to wait around for Edward, so I walked over to stand under a tree that was beginning to blossom. I sat on the ground, but before I could really sit down, Edward was wrapping his arms around me. "Bella…" he whispered and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Hey, are you feeling better?" I asked, trying to force a cheery tone. He smiled at my attempt and kissed my forehead. "Better, now that you're here." I smiled and hit his leg gently, although even that small gesture hurt my hand. My phone rang, I searched my bag for it and it was Mimi…**

**Bella: "Hey Mimi, how are you?"**

**Mimi: "Bella? I'm fine, how are you?"**

**Bella: "I'm alright, what's up?"**

**Mimi: "Well.. Are you busy right now? I have some.. I have something I need to tell you, but I want to be sure that you will be okay…" she let her statement trailed off. She sounded sad.**

**Bella: "Yeah, I'm alright. So what's up?"**

**Mimi: "Bella, Renee and Phil were in a car accident. We don't really know anything, but they are in the hospital. But please, don't freak, Bella…"**

I let the phone slide out of my hand and drop onto the ground. I could hear Mimi still calling my name but I couldn't register anything. All I knew was that Renee and Phil were hurt and I wasn't there to help or anything. I pushed the horrific thoughts out of my head and put my head in my hands. "Edward, I… I need to go. I have to go…" I said, grabbing my phone, I told Mimi that I would be there soon and I hung up. I started to stand. "Bella, what are you talking about?" he grabbed my arm. I snatched it away from him.

"You don't understand I said -my voice caught, trying to fight back tears- My mom and her husband were in a car accident…" I couldn't finish, the tears came freely and unwelcome. They burned my cheeks and I tried to wipe them away, but they wouldn't stop. He took me in his arms. "Everything will be okay, I promise. Are you going to go back to New York?" he asked, pulling me back to look at my face. I nodded and buried my face in his shirt. "I have to, I can't… I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I wasn't there…" my sob broke off my sentence. I felt Edward tense and I looked up to see Jessica and Michael walking towards us. "Bella…-I felt Jessica's hand on my shoulder- are you okay?" I pulled away from Edward, wiping my eyes, "I will be, but I have to go back to New York for a while." I forced a smile for her. Michael stared confused and Edward pulled him away, talking to him. I sat down and explained it all to Jessica, "Tell Angela I said I'll miss her and I'll be back soon." I said as I stood up, and she hugged me. I walked over toward Edward and Michael, "I'm so sorry, Bella, are you going to be okay?" Michael asked, he looked so sincere it made my heart ache. I nodded, "Thanks. I'll be okay." I said as he reached out and hugged me as well. I smiled and pulled back. "I'll talk to you soon.." I said, as I grabbed Edward's hand and walked away.

"Bella, are you leaving right away?" he asked, looking down at me. I lifted one shoulder and let it fall. "I have no clue as to how I am going to get there or anything…" I said, feeling another sob coming on. He squeezed my hand gently while he toyed with my ring. I had forgotten that I still wore his engagement ring. "I could.. Well you know I could always come with you, and if you don't want me to… I can pay for everything you will need." he offered. I stopped in my tracks on the way to the counseling office. "Edward.. -I stared up at his face and then looked away- I don't know if I can let you do that. You'd miss school and I feel bad about taking your money-" he brushed his lips across mine. "Bella, if you were my wife, it would be your money as well. Please, let me help and as for school.. I've been to school so many times it wouldn't matter.. But I understand if you don't want me to go with you, I can always stay behind." he said, and I could see how much it hurt him to even think about letting me go to New York by myself. He was already worried about not being around me. I smiled and stretched up on my tippy toes to kiss him. "You have to be the sweetest guy -vampire- ever" I whispered, "And I'd love for you to go to New York with me. To meet Renee and everyone else, if you are sure you don't mind, I'd love for you to accompany me." I said, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

We walked off toward the office again, but I still felt twisting in my stomach about what I was about to do. Edward was rubbing soothing circles in the back of my hand when I stopped and faced him. "Are you sure? Because I don't want to push you into anything that you don't want to do…" I said, looking up into his eyes. He shrugged, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure I want to do this with you, as long as you are sure you want me to go." he said with in a strong, gentle voice. I smiled and continued walking. He held the door open for me and we walked in, still holding hands all the while. "Okay, here we go…" I said, walking to the counselors desk.

It was a long flight because we couldn't get a flight that went straight through, so we ended up making 3 stops. Edward was a great flying buddy because he was just calm and relaxing. Me on the other hand, I was a nervous wreck and I was constantly worrying. He held my hand and calmed me when I began to worry too much into Renee and Phil's situation. I fell asleep after a while and soon grew restless with the time passing so slowly. I jolted awake when I heard Edward whispering to me. "Mmmm?" I said, trying to open my eyes. He was looking me dead in my eyes. "What's wrong Edward?" I asked in an almost too loud whisper. He shook his head and put his finger to his lips. I nodded, "What's wrong?" I asked again, growing aggravated. But then I noticed his eyes were darker than normal. _When was the last time he had went on a feeding trip? _I thought to myself. "Oh, Edward. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I mean.. you have needs too…" I dropped my voice and put my hand to his cheek. Gently stroking the dark purple bruises underneath his eyes, I felt tears spring to my eyes. "We'll stop at the next city and cancel our flight for the next plane and just stay the night. You can feed and get better… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so care-" he kissed me, cutting off all communication. "Don't worry, I knew this would happen. I can take care of myself. You just worry about yourself and about Phil and Renee.." he kissed me again and I shook my head. "My plan is final. We stay at the next stop and you can do that and I'll rest." I put my head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand. 

I don't remember falling asleep, but a while later Edward was brushing my hair back from my face, "Wake up, beautiful. It's time to get off.. Come on." he shook me gently. I awoke and stared around disoriented for a minute and then got up and followed the others off of the plane. We asked the receptionist where a good hotel was, but she was too busy gawking at Edward and it was pissing me off. Short tempered as I am, I just glared at her and made a point of showing off my ring discretely. She finally backed off and helped us find a place to stay and then we went out to catch a cab.

The concierge at the hotel was very friendly, _thank goodness it was a male_. He helped us up to our room and carried our bags of luggage. I saw Edward hand him a big wad of money and then close the door, thanking him for his help. I shook my head and walked over to the bed. The room was huge and looked fit for celebrities. "When I said hotel, I didn't mean something that would cost you a crap load of money a night." I said, beginning to carry our bags further into the room. "Bella, money is _not_ an issue with me, and besides, you deserve the best." he said with a big grin on his face. I couldn't help but smile back at him and I turned to look out the window. The view was amazing. Kansas had amazing views, and where we were, there was more farmland which made it look very relaxing. I sat down on the window seat and rested my head against the window. "Beautiful, isn't? I'd die to have scenery like this all the time…" Edward said absently, almost as if he were in another place right now. "I know, it's so relaxing and it just makes you want more out of life than just the busyness of the cities and living life in the fast lane." I added after a while. He smiled down at me and kissed me gently, nudging my chin up with his index finger.

I sighed against his chest, "You should go, I cant even begin to understand how hard this is for you.." I motioned to my neck. He stared down at me and his eyes darkened and I grasped at my throat playfully. He frowned, "Very funny, Bella.." his face darkened with anger and he stalked away. I called out after him but he didn't answer me. "Edward I was kidding.." I shouted, but he didn't notice me and he just kept walking, slamming the door behind him. I slumped down the wall onto the floor. "Great." I said aloud to myself. 

I got up and thumbed through the phone book and found a pizza place that came highly recommended by the hotel staff and other people staying in the hotel themselves. I picked up the receiver and called them to place an order for a large pizza, pepperoni and extra cheese. I hung up and fell back on the bed, exhausted and aggravated that, on our first day so far, we had already had a little tiff with each other. I sat up, running my hands through my hair and walked into the bathroom, stripping my clothes off and shedding them out in the main room. I stepped in the bathroom and grabbed a robe. I walked back into the room letting the tub fill up with water. I heard a knock at the door and went to answer it -pizza guy of course- I paid him and closed the door behind me and walked back into the main room setting the box down and taking a slice. _WOW!_ The pizza was to-die-for delicious. I finished off my second piece just as the tub was full to my likings. I walked in and shed the towel, stepping into the scorching water, my muscles cramped and then relaxed. I rested my head on the back of the tub and closed my eyes.

"Ah, this is nice…" I mumbled to myself and then I heard the door close to the hotel room. I jolted up and looked around and saw Edward standing in the doorway. I sank in the water, pulling a towel in with me and felt myself blush. "Do you mind closing the door?" I asked, not entirely wanting my voice to sound aggravated. He flinched back at my words and closed the door with a little more force than I think he meant. Tears sprang to my eyes as I got out the tub -the water swirling down the drain- and dressed quickly into a long t-shirt and walked out into the bedroom. 

Edward lay on the bed, his hands resting behind his head. He looked at ease, but I felt like a total bitch for earlier. "Hey…" I said, sitting down next to him. He didn't seem to realize I was there so I shifted my weight and stared at him. "Edward… what's wrong with you? I mean I guess I deserve the silent treatment.. But why exactly are you giving it to me?" I asked, growing frustrated with the silence. He didn't answer me right away, he simply shifted a little on the bed. Throwing my hands up in exasperation, I got up and stalked over to my bags. I grabbed some clothes and changed, "Well if you're not going to talk to me, then I'm not going to sit around here -I grabbed my purse- I'll be back later." I said, walking towards the door. He got up and beat me there, "Where exactly are you going?" he asked, his voice straining to stay calm. "None-of-your-business." I said, mouthing each word precisely. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. Please, don't go.. It's dangerous out there and this city is too big.. And if you were to get into trouble I wouldn't know where to look and how." he said, looking intensely into my eyes. I shook my head, "Make up your mind, Edward. You've been doing this since we got here… and then I tried to apologize and you ignored me. I'm trying to give you your space and you don't want me to leave." I walked away from the door, shedding my jacket and then the rest of my clothes. I put my t-shirt back on and sat on the bed. Watching him with confusion in my eyes.

Edward paced the room for a few minutes and then stripped down to his boxers and climbed in the bed with me. I pulled him close to me and ran my fingers through his hair. "What's going on with you lately?" I asked, concern placating my voice. He shook his head and hugged himself closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him and just listened to his even breathing. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was asleep. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, Edward was still in my arms and the sun was barely beginning to light the sky. I cracked my eyes some more and glanced toward the clock, _6:30 a.m_. Ugh. I sighed and sat up, but Edward didn't budge. I looked at him and he was still breathing, slow and deep. He looked so peaceful, but I'd never seen him like this. I got up slowly and went to the makeshift kitchenette area and started a pot of coffee. I then went into the bathroom and relieved myself and washed my face. I walked back out and Edward had rolled over but he was snoring lightly. I laughed to myself and poured a cup of coffee. I curled up next to him on the bed and flipped on the news, cutting the sound down. 

I drank my coffee in silence for a while and then I heard Edward sigh. "Mmmm, Bella?" his voice was raspy, but still velvety soft. I touched his arm, "I'm here, how are you?" I asked, setting my cup down and resting my head on his shoulder. I kissed him lightly and he rolled onto his back and wrapped his arm around me. "What.. What happened?" he asked, sounding confused. I smiled to myself and then it faded, "You fell asleep last night, Edward. Don't you remember?" I asked, looking up into his face. "Sleep? Me? Wow, I don't remember, but it was so peaceful." he said smiling down at me. I leaned up to press a kiss to his cold lips. He hugged me tighter. I smiled and pulled away and grabbed my cup again. "Can I order some breakfast from room service?" I asked as I sat up and pulled the covers over my legs. He sat up as well and reached for the remote. "Sure, have whatever you like, love." he said flipping through the channels, yawning. I picked up the phone and dialed for the front desk to bring up a sunny-side up egg, bacon, and bagel breakfast with a small fruit salad. I hung up and laid back onto the bed.. Sighing and folding my arms across my chest. 

"So, what was wrong last night?" I asked after a long moment. He sighed, "I don't really know. I was mad at you for having an attitude when I was coming to apologize and then when you tried to leave me… I just had to leave. I had to let my mind wander, so I thought that ignoring you for a little while would be best. And then you tried to comfort me, you took my role and.. Well it made my heart beat irregularly. I got a glimpse of how you must feel when I do that…" he finished, staring out the window. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and then I reached over and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and then there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." he whispered into my ear, his cool breath flowing through my hair, tingling my neck. He got up and grabbed a t-shirt. He walked to the door and let room service in. 

I came up behind Edward and tipped the guy. Edward took my money out of his hand and switched it with hundred when he thought I wasn't looking. It pissed me off, but then it warmed my heart that he was willing to just give his money to those who needed it more. "Well, since my money is no good, I'll just be taking it back. . ." I said, as I snatched the money from his hand and ran from the doorway.

The food was amazing, worth five stars. I didn't finish it all, so I left it on the cart and stared out the window.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked me after a long silence. I shrugged and looked at him. He was sprawled across the bed, his hands behind his head. "Nothing really. I'm just enjoying the view here.. And the peace and quiet as well. Most of all -I got up and walked toward him- I'm enjoying this time with you. It's like spring break all over again and I love it. I love you. . ." I said as I crawled onto the bed with him. I curled up into his side, he wrapped an arm around my waist and we laid like that for a long time. Soon it was time to get ready, we didn't want to miss our flight.

"Do we have everything?" I asked as we made our way to the door of our hotel room. He nodded and grabbed the room key, holding the door open for me. I smiled up at him, "Alright, well I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm nervous. . ." I said, walking ahead of him. He grabbed my hand, "Don't be, everything will be alright. It will, you're probably just making it more complicated than it is." he finished, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb, into the back of my hand. I smiled up at him and boarded the elevator.

We made our flight, with seconds to spare. I leaned back, sighing, and looked over at Edward, he was closing the shade to block the sunlight out. Today, he was dressed in dark colors, including gloves on his hands. He even went the full way to wear a hat that shaded his face and neck. I smiled and shook my head, "I don't understand why you came. It will be sunny in New York the whole time most likely and I don't want you to have to be cooped up inside all the time.." I said in a whisper. He shook his head and leaned closer, "Because I wanted to be with you. I want to be there for you, I want to help.." he said, pulling away and leaning his head back against the seat. I leaned my head against his shoulder and waited as the plane took off. "What if everything isn't okay? What if something has happened?" paranoid, I took my phone out to check for any messages. A white hand appeared and took it from me, placing it in a jacket pocket. "Edward.. Give me my phone." I said laughing. He shook his head and flashed me a crooked smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: New York City. . .**

The flight didn't take as long as I was expecting. We got off the plane and went to find our bags. I saw Angel and Collins standing near a pillar in the huge airport of New York City. I smiled, waving to them, then I looked up to Edward, "There's Angel and Collins. Ready?" he smiled down at me and squeezed my hand. Angel spotted us and waved her hands above her head and I smiled even wider. "ANGEL!" I squealed as we embraced. She hugged me tighter and I felt tears spring to my eyes as I felt the shoulder of my shirt grow moist. "Wow, you look great, Bella." she said, through a rough sob. I nodded and smiled, "So do you. So do you." I choked out and we hugged again. I heard Collins laughing behind me, followed by Edward's musical laughter.

"Hey, Collins. How are you?" I asked him as I reached for a hug. He smiled and kissed my forehead. "I'm doing fine, Bella. Just living life." he finished and I hugged him tight and backed away. "Collins, this is Edward. Edward, this is Collins. And Angel you must remember him from the last time you were here." she nodded and gave him a hug as well. "Well, Bella, I suppose you have something to show me?" Angel asked in the most innocent voice. I felt confusion sweep over my mind, covering my face. I looked up to Edward for help and he squeezed my hand. My left hand. Realization hit me, _Oh_. "Of course -I lifted my left hand- Here, isn't it gorgeous? It was Edward's mother's ring." I shifted it in the light to fancy her likings. She gawked at the ring and I shrugged her questions off. Collins saved us when he said that we should get going or we'd be late for the dinner reservations they made for us.

Edward and I sat in the backseat of their newest Escalade. It was nice and spacious. I held Edward's hand the whole way to their apartment. It was nicer than I had remembered. Angel was an amazing designer. Her sense of fashion and design were beyond belief. She had a true knack for creating and blending to make a masterpiece out of about anything. "Wow, Angel, this place looks better and better every time I come here." I said, in awe. I walked around the living area, admiring the colors and the portraits that lined the walls. "Amazing, isn't it?" Collins asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded, open mouthed. "I hate to intrude on you guys. . ." I said, fidgeting with the zipper on my bag. He shook his head once, "Always so modest, Bella, but you aren't intruding. We would be honored to have you and your fiancé stay with us while you're here." I smiled at him, "Okay."

Edward appeared at my side. "I was just telling Angel what a beautiful home you guys have. I was surprised at how wonderful everything looks together." Edward said; his voice both polite and appreciative. I smiled up at him. "Should we unpack? I'd love to take a shower and try and get in touch with Mimi…" I was cut off. "Don't you worry about Mimi; she will be at dinner tonight." Angel called from the kitchen. I laughed, "Okay…" I grabbed my bags up and followed Collins to a bedroom near the back of the loft apartment. "Wow, this is so… Beautiful." I said, laughing and setting my bags down on the floor at the foot of the bed. Edward set his on the floor at the side of the bed. "I agree…" Collins nodded and began to walk away. "You two get settled in, we'll be out here if you two need anything…" he said and disappeared into the darkness of the hallway.

"Well, they sure are nice enough. And this house… It's to die for." Edward said, sitting on the bed. "How are you feeling, love?" he asked after I long moment. I shrugged, "Alright I guess. I'm just a little nervous. I haven't seen my mother in almost seven months and let alone everyone else it's been a good three months…" I said, turning to face him. I walked to the bed and lifted one of my bags onto the bed next to him. He pulled me by my waist and I stood between his legs. "Everything will be alright, just fine. Don't worry about anything. And your friends, they will still love you even if you haven't seen them in years." he finished, standing up and tilting my head so that he could kiss me. I grew lightheaded and wrapped my arms around his neck. He ran his hands up the small of my back, to my shoulders and back down. I kissed him deeper, nibbling on his bottom lip, when we heard someone clear their throat. "Sorry to interrupt this cute… Romantic scene, but you have a phone call." Angel said; who was standing in the hallway in front of the door. I nodded and walked over to the side table and picked up the phone, Angel yelled behind her for Collins to hang up the phone.

I sighed to myself when I found out that it was just Charlie. I assured him that I had arrived safely and that Edward was with me and we promised to be safe. We talked for a little while longer and then I hung up, claiming to be jet lagged and having dinner reservations -which was true to some extent- with Angel and the gang.

Exhausted from the conversation, I plopped down on the bed next to Edward and closed my eyes. He pokes me in my side, "You should probably take a shower, Bella. It's been a long day and it will help you relax…" he said, wrapping his arms around me. I sighed, "Yeah, you're right. A hot shower would be nice…" I said rising from the bed and moving toward my bags on the floor. I felt Edward's eyes boring into me as I moved, "What's wrong?" I asked him after a few moments of shuffling through my bag. I found my toiletries.

I looked up in time to see him shrug, "Nothing, really. I'm just worried about you… This is a lot, and I don't want you to like have a mental melt down or something…" he finished, smiling. I shook my head, "To be honest, I'm alright. I mean I'm still kind of nervous about what I might have to face at the hospital, but I do have you… And I have the rest of my friends here. But most of all, I have you and I know you will be there for me." I got up and sat next to him, running my fingers down the side of his face; I bent in and kissed his lips. A feather light touch was all it was and then I walked out of the room.

Their bathroom was extravagant. The walls were pale sea foam green with a mahogany wood paneling. A luxurious bathtub was set up just beside a window with blinds that opened from the top rather than the bottom. Next to that was a walk in shower, it was nice and had expensive shower heads in the walls of the shower. I walked in with my mouth dropping. I set my clothes on the counter and turned toward the toilet to relieve myself. I walked to the shower and started it. All the shower heads turned on and I closed the door and went to undressing and gathering my soaps. I stepped into the shower and it was heavenly. The tension in my shoulders and back seemed to just melt away. Then there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I asked, louder than usual. But I heard the door open but couldn't see who it was and I never heard the door shut. Then before I could say anything, Edward was sliding in next to me. I inhaled sharply and backed away until I bumped into the wall. "What. . ." I was at a loss for words. He put his lips to mine and stopped the sentence that was making its way to my lips. I lost all my train of thoughts and concentration became impossible. "Have I ever told you how much you mean to me?" he asked, nuzzling my neck with his nose. He kissed along my jaw line all the way to my hairline. I shivered and pulled him closer to me. "What's this all about? We can't… you can't…" I tried to get my thought out but I lost the thought as soon as it was formed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to kiss him more passionately. He ran his hands down my sides, hitching my leg up around his hip. I moaned against his mouth and kissed him deeper. I ran my along the outline of his lips, kissing his neck and then his shoulders. He made an animal like sound and placed himself inside me. I moaned softly and held onto his neck for support. He smiled his crooked smile, and thrust himself inside of me.

I was overcome with pleasure and soon forgot where I was. Edward kept his lips to mine, roaming and exploring my mouth. Keeping me from becoming too loud, he took his time and I felt as though I couldn't hold on for much longer. I climaxed against him, clutching his shoulders. I felt my could feel myself gasping for air, but Edward claimed my mouth again with his, while he climaxed. He fell slowly to the floor of the shower and took me with him. I sat on his lap, my head limp on his chest. He ran his fingers up my back and I sighed. "Wow… I can't believe we just did that." I said laughing. He chuckled with me and helped me to my feet. "Can you hand me the soap from behind you?" I asked as I stepped into the water again. I lathered my body quickly and got out, leaving him to wash.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face, applying a smidge of make up to enhance, but not completely overdo my features. Edward sat on the toilet watching me. I smiled in the mirror at him and he smiled back, getting up and walking towards me. "I love you, Isabella…" he whispered with my favorite smile playing across his lips. I blushed and looked down at the sink as I finished packing up my stuff. Edward took it in his arm and waited for me to walk out into the hall. "Oh…" Collins said as he walked past the bathroom, on the phone it seemed. I blushed again and walked as fast as I could without actually running, to the bedroom. Edward shut the door silently as I walked over to my bag. He set my toiletries on the dresser and sat on the bed, rifling through one of his bags. I dressed quickly in a deep blue dress that was tight in the bodice area and then flowed gently down to my mid thigh. It was a gorgeous dress and it was perfect for this evening. I pulled my hair up in a loose bun and sprayed a small mist of some expensive brand of perfume that Alice had given me a few months ago. "How do I look? And be honest…" I asked Edward as I turned around from the mirror in the closet. He shook his head, "You look beautiful, like always Bella. Why must you torture me with these silly questions when you know I will say the same thing every time..?" he finished, waving his hand in front of him in a sign of dismissal of the conversation.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I want to look devastatingly beautiful like you for once." I said, filling my purse with my lip gloss and basic essentials. I heard him chuckle darkly and I turned to face him, leaning against the wall. "What?" I asked, watching him shake his head. "Bella, you are absurd. You are beautiful, so beautiful that it drives me crazy sometimes to just be around you. And don't envy me, I'm a monster, this is the look of a killer…" he said, his face going glum. I walked over to him and sat in his lap as he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry; it's just that I feel so plain… So ordinary compared to you. And Edward -I grabbed his jaw between my hands- you are not a killer, you know this. You can't help what you are… Either way, I love you and your killer skin…" I said laughing. His eyes were sad, but he still laughed. "Alright… We should get going, I have a surprise for you tonight…" he said, helping me to my feet. I smiled and grabbed my purse, heading out into the living area to join Angel and Collins.

"Wow, Bella… You look amazing!" Angel exclaimed when Edward and I emerged from the hallway. I blushed, "Thanks, you look good yourself." Collins stood up and walked into the kitchen, "You guys want something to drink?" he asked, grabbing himself a beer out of the refrigerator. I shook my head and Edward declined politely and took a seat on the love seat by the window. I went over toward Angel and began to admire her jewelry she had made. "These are… Beautiful." I said, speechless. She laughed and brushed the comment off, "They aren't anything special… Just something I made on a rainy day…" she said, sighing. I laughed and walked over to where Edward sat and stared out the window. He smiled up at me and I smiled, walking back across the room. "So when is this dinner party supposed to begin?" I asked after a moment. Collins walked back into the room with a beer laughing, "Whenever Roger and Mimi decide to come here… They are carpooling with us to the restaurant." he said, laughing and sitting down next to Angel. I went and sat on the sofa across from them and scooted over so Edward could sit next to me. "Edward, have you ever been to New York before?" Angel asked after moment. "Actually, my father is a doctor so we've traveled a lot. I stayed here in New York two years prior to meeting Bella.." Edward said politely. "Oh, really? Well then you're like a native aren't you?" Collins said, a mocking smile playing across his lips.

I never really noticed how old Collins and Angel were getting. I guess it's because they never really acted old therefore I always saw them as really young. "Bella, do you miss being in the big city? Or do you like living up there with Charlie?" Collins asked. I glanced up at Edward and then back to him, "I miss being around you guys, but I love living in Seattle.. And near Charlie for that fact." I answered, in a matter-of-fact tone. We chatted in a comfortable zone for a while, the skyline outside was beginning to light up and then there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it.." I volunteered as I rose from the sofa. My legs were stiff and in dire need to be stretched and used for a while. I opened the door and smiled. "Bella? Is it really you?!" Mimi exclaimed as she scooped me up in a bear hug. I laughed and hugged her back. "Yep, it's me. In the flesh, oh gosh I missed you so much.." I pulled away and gave Roger a big hug as well. "We've missed you too!" she squealed and walked past me. Angel and Collins had walked up behind me and were giving them hugs now. I walked back to Edward and took his hand. "Hello." he said as Roger walked toward him, his hand extended. Mimi threw me a devious look and then licked her lips, winking at me. I stifled a laugh and shook my head. "Well let's get going, I'll call the others and let them know we're on our way." Collins said and started out the door. I smiled up at Edward and squeezed his hand. He leaned down and kissed me once softly and then a second time with more passion. I blushed and walked forward.

It had cooled off considerably since we had arrived earlier this afternoon and I shivered in the night air. "Bella.. -his voice disapproving- .. Take my jacket, love. I don't want you to catch a cold." Edward said as we began walking further outside. I was about to object, but he was already taking his jacket off and putting it around my shoulders. "Thanks.." I said, scowling at him. Angel turned around, "Do you kids mind if we walk? The restaurant isn't very far. It would take longer to start the car and get out onto the road.." I shook my head, "I don't mind.." I looked up at Edward to see him agree. Off we went, down the cool, crowded streets of New York City.

I forgot how beautiful and romantic the city was at night. The buildings seemed to come to life even though they were fast asleep until the early waking hours of the next day. I forgot that Edward was walking next to me until I saw a group of girls ahead ogling over him. It made me furious and I looked up at him, stopping in front of them. I stretched up on my toes and kissed him, slowly. Then I pulled away, smiling internally as I flashed my engagement ring to them, before trying to catch up with the group Edward shook his head in disappointment, all the while an amused smile played beautifully on his lips.

The restaurant was beautiful. Full of life but not too crowded, not typical for your usual night out in New York. It was set up like a night club, but had an elegant touch to it. The tables were spaced apart and set up in various ways. It was more from the future yet kept its place in time. "Fancy place.. I love the way its set up.." I whispered to Edward as we walked in behind Mimi and the others. I spotted Maureen and Joanne sitting at a huge table with Mark. I waved and smiled and the exuberant Mark who was now standing trying to get my attention. I smiled to myself and headed over to the table, Edward trailing behind with Roger and Collins.

"Hey, Oh my gosh, how are you guys?" I asked as I gave them hugs and waited for the others to get to the table. Edward reached it before the rest, his Adonis figure standing out from everyone else. I smiled and he took my hand gently. "Hello. I'm Edward Cullen. I'm with Bella.." he said, shaking hands. I watched as Maureen drooled over him, and jokingly said, "He's mine." and touched her arm lightly. She laughed and Joanne rolled her eyes. I laughed and the rest of the gang made their way over to the table. We greeted each other and took our seats. I had forgotten how much fun they were when we were all together, not that when we weren't together we didn't have much fun.

"So, Bella, if you weren't under the circumstances, would you be excited to be back in New York?" Joanne asked me as we placed our drink orders; I was surprised that Edward ordered anything. "Even though I'm here because mom and Phil are in the hospital, I still love being back. You guys are like my best friends and I miss being with you.. Although I love being in Seattle as well. I have new friends there, they are amazing. And I have Edward.." I flashed him a smile before I looked at everyone else. Maureen laughed and I blushed, Edward just smiled, lifting up one half of his mouth. The waitress brought our drinks back and smiled too friendly at Edward. I turned away and started to listen to what Mimi was talking about. Her and Roger were thinking of adopting a little girl; they passed pictures around and she was adorable.

"Edward, so what's your family like?" Maureen asked after sipping on her drink. I was still talking with Mimi about her adoption ideas. "My father, Carlisle, is a doctor in Forks. My mother, Esme, well she's an interior designer. She likes to restore old houses from the 18th-20th centuries. But they aren't my biological parents, I was adopted. My parents died a long time ago.." he said after a while. I smiled and turned to listen in as Mimi had done. "Oh I'm so sorry to hear, that must have been terrible. They seem like nice people. Do you have any siblings?" Mimi asked. He nodded, "I have 2 biological siblings and 2 other adopted siblings. We all live together. Alice and Emmett are my blood relatives and Rosalie and Jasper aren't, but I still think of them like that because we have been through so much together." he finished, smiling at her. She smiled back. "Wow, I hope to be like them -she winked at Roger- I think they are wonderful people." she nodded and sat back in her chair. "Edward, um could I speak with you for a moment?" Collins asked, getting up from the table. Edward nodded and smiled my way, "I'll be back.." he kissed my hand and walked away with Collins. Everyone _awed_ at me for the gesture.

I blushed a deep scarlet and went back to the conversations at the table. A few moments later, Edward and Collins came back, laughing. I looked at Collins suspiciously and he just winked at me. Confused, I turned back to the Angel and gave praise to the pictures they had taken when they went to Egypt for their anniversary. I laughed at how silly some of the pictures were and I was awed by the beautiful architecture they saw. Edward sat on the other side of me and swapped our drinks. I smiled over my shoulder at him. Everyone had pretty much gone into their own directions with conversation, but they didn't seem to be having a bad time.

The waitress came and took our orders and promised it would be no longer than thirty minutes. While we waited we talked about how school was going with us and then how my mom was doing as of lately and what the doctors had said. We were moving on to the good old times we all used to have and it kept us all in laughing fits. I couldn't really concentrate because I was super aware of Edward sitting next to me. It was like there was an electric current flowing between us again and it was hard to keep my mind straight, let alone whenever he laughed. His laugh was whimsical and just.. Beautiful. The waitress came back with a cart and passed our food around. I saw Edward slip her a piece of paper that was folded up. I frowned to myself and turned away. Making a point not to notice him, even though I was pretty sure I was failing miserably.

Dinner passed smoothly, laughing in bits and reminiscing about when I was younger, so much embarrassment involved on my part. Edward would nudge me ever so often and just smile at me, his eyes alight with happiness and full of gentler emotions. I couldn't help but smile back. I guess they had already ordered deserts. But I wasn't in the mood for tiramisu, but I tried it anyways. We talked for a while and then everyone got quiet and began to stare at me, feeling self conscious I looked around. Edward had stood up and was turning to face me; I stared at him.. My eyes studying his every move, suspicious of what was going on. He got down on one knee…

"Isabella Marie Swan. From the moment I saw you I knew I couldn't stay away from you. I tried to push you away, by being a jerk and ignoring you while you hung out with my sister -he laughed darkly- but when the end of the day came rolling around, it was you who was on my mind when I rested at night and it still is. You're the first thing to come to my mind when I wake up in the morning, and I go crazy when you're not around me. I love you, Bella. And I always will. Forever, and on this night, here with your friends.. The ones who mean the most to you.. I want to ask you.. Will you marry me?" he finished, staring up at me. His eyes were a warm, honey brown color. Adoration covered his face, and I was pretty sure if he could cry, he would have became emotional. I blushed and felt tears spring my eyes, "Oh Edward, yes. Yes, I will." I said, tears rolling down my face, I stood up and hugged him. He lifted my feet off of the floor and pressed his cool, hard lips to mine. Once. Twice. A third time, more passionately before placing me down again and he took my hand in his and rubbed my ring on my left hand. I smiled up at him and he wiped away my tears. "Bella, you're being utterly absurd. Don't cry, mon cherie." he said in a whisper and sat down, pulling me down into the chair next to him. I dabbed at my eyes and smiled to everyone. They were smiling and laughing at my reaction, "You bums knew about this, didn't you?" I asked, laughing and still dabbing at my eyes. "Oh hon., we had to keep it a secret. Edward here, he wanted it to be really special, and we're sorry Renee and Phil couldn't be here, but I'm sure they will be extremely happy with your choice. Take care of her.." Angel finished, tearing up a little. I laughed and reached over to give her a hug. "Awe, you guys are amazing.. Thanks." I said, making a note of smiling at each person around the table.

Shortly after the proposal, we all decided it was time to head out. Edward offered to pay the bill, but Angel and Collins tried to refuse, but he used the power of his dazzling gaze on them, and they gave in sooner than later.

I walked close by Edward in the chill of the early New York morning. Angel leaned into Collins, half asleep. I laughed and Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders, blocking me from the cold. I sighed, "I love you.." I said, he leaned down and pressed his lips against my forehead, "I love you, more.." We walked past the same group of people that we had passed on the way to the restaurant. "Hey, bitch, you got something to say?" a dirty woman said. She was dressed in a mini-mini skirt with stilettos on an a shirt so low cut it barely covered her breasts. I saw Angel turn to say something, but Collins stopped her and we continued to walk. We fell behind in step from Angel and Collins. Edward turned and glared instinctively at them, I could have sworn I heard him growl under his breath. The group scattered, fear apparent on their dirty faces.

"Edward…" I whispered, "Come on, lets go.. Please?" I asked, my voice was full of urgency. "I'm sorry, Bella. Let's catch up and get you home. You're freezing." and with that said, we walked faster to get out the cold. The walk seemed longer on the way back, maybe it was because I was cold and scared and exhausted from all of the excitement of the evenings events.

The apartment was warmer than it was outside, and for that, I was thankful. "Wow, tonight was.. Interesting. I enjoyed being around everyone again. It was just like the old days." I said, slipping my heels off as I walked deeper into the living room. "I second that, it's been so long since we've all been together. Almost a year…" Collins said. Angel barely made it in the door before she collapsed into sleep mode. I laughed and kissed her goodnight on her forehead. "Goodnight Collins, I'll see you in the morning." I said around a yawn and headed toward the hallway. "Thank you for having me, I enjoyed having dinner with you all. Goodnight." Edward said and followed behind me.

I changed into a t-shirt and laid my dress across a chair near the closet. I watched as Edward undressed and laid his clothes next to mine. He climbed into bed with me. I tried to cuddle closer to him before he pulled a blanket between me and his skin. "Edward, last night… what do you think allowed you to fall asleep?" I asked after a hesitated moment. He shrugged, "I'm not really sure, I heard about it being possible if we try hard enough, but I wasn't trying anything, I was just.. Tired." he said after a little while. I nodded, "I see. I like it when you sleep, we seem more alike that way." I said, smiling up at him. He looked down and kissed me. I reached up and put my hand to the side of his face and then ran it down his neck to his chest. "Sleep with me…" I said, snuggling up to him. He chuckled and pulled me closer.

It was bright when I opened my eyes. I looked out the window and saw clouds, I smiled to myself. I looked over my shoulder and Edward was laying on his side, breathing deeply. I smiled to myself and slid out of bed gently. I stepped over to my bag and pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a form fitting t-shirt. I pulled socks on, grabbed my purse and then walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind me. No one was up yet so I decided I would make some coffee and then sit in the window. Today I decided I would go see my mom, I needed to see her and Phil.

I walked out into the kitchen and searched the cupboards for some coffee and found instant. That would work, I made a cup and went and sat at the window with my cell phone. I decided I would text Jessica…

_**Hey Jess, what's up? How's Seattle? New York is amazing, **_

_**And I'm having loads of fun. I hope to talk to you soon, I'll bring**_

_**You a souvenir or something, talk to you later. Love B.**_

I sent the text hoping she didn't have her phone on in class or anything like that, maybe she wasn't even in class because of the time difference, maybe she was still asleep since it was only about 7 a.m. here and everything. I shook my head and laughed at myself. The coffee was good, I finished the cup. Then I heard someone moving around, Angel came out from the hallway, shocked to see me up so early. "Well, good morning." she said, walking into the kitchen. I got up and followed after her, "Good morning. I hope you don't mind, but I used some of the instant coffee." I smiled, sheepishly. Angel stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face me, about to burst into a laughing fit, "Whatever you find in here, you are more than welcome to. The same goes for Edward." she said, turning to the teapot and setting it on the stove. I smiled, washed my cup and then put it away.

I sat and talked to Angel for a while before heading back to the room with Edward. It was silent, but that didn't mean anything. "Edward?" I whispered, as I pushed the door open and closed it behind me. He was laying on his back, his arm thrown over his eyes. His chest heaved in slow, even rhythms with his breathing. I tip toed over to the bed and sat next to him. I touched his shoulder and his arm fell off his face. His face was twisted, as if he were in pain.. Or scared. More frantically I shook him, calling his name. he shot up and knocked me off the bed. I grabbed at the back of my head and sat up slowly. "Oh god, Bella. Bella? Bella are you okay?" Edward came around the bed and reached for me. "I'm fine, don't worry about it." I pulled myself up to my feet. "I'm so, so sorry, Bella." Edward said, enveloping me in a vice grip hug. I hugged him back, laughing. "Don't stress it, I'll be alright." and I walked over to the bedside table and picked up the items that were knocked over.

I went over and picked up my dress and placed it back in my bag. I pulled out fresh clothes, grabbed my bathroom bag and headed down the hall. I showered and began to blow dry my hair. Angel knocked on the door as I was putting on some make up. "Come in…" I said, putting my stuff away back into my bag. "Hey hon. How are you?" she asked, walking in and sitting on the toilet. I shrugged, "Alright I guess. Kind of tired is all, how are you?" I asked, eyeing her suspiciously. "I guess.. I'm okay. I've been feeling kind of different lately, but I'm alright. Collins went out with some friends this morning, so I was going to clean up around the house." she said after a while. "Oh, I see.. I could stay and help you if you would like…" I offered, turning and sitting on the counter. She shook her head, "Oh god no, honey. You and Edward -a huge grin forming on her lips- are going to go visit Renee and Phil at the hospital. I can handle all of this by myself, its what I do." she patted my hand and I reached around to hug her. "Thanks for having us here, and thanks… for always being there for me when I needed it the most." I said, smiling. She returned my smile and walked out. I sighed and made my way back to the room. "Edward, I was wondering if after we visited a while with my mom you…" I saw he was on the phone. "…Yes, I know how dangerous it is. I will see what I can do, Alice, there's nothing I can really do but…" he cut his sentence off and stared up at me, then he looked down -placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose- "Alice, I'm going to have to call you back." and with that he hung up the phone. "Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in…" I muttered and walked over to grab my bag. "Bella, we need to talk." he said, his voice weary. "What about?" I asked, attempting to be nonchalant. "There is some trouble here, I think we might have to go back.. But I don't want to ruin your chance to be with your mom." he said, sighing and staring at the floor.

"What do you mean?" I asked, growing confused and frustrated. "I mean that I'm probably going to be really protective of you, I want to be with you at all times.. Please?" he asked, his voice pleading. I shook my head as I sat down next to him, "I don't understand. Just because there is trouble here, why do you have to…" I paused and realization struck, "Oh! There are other _vampires_ here?" I asked, my eyes wide from fear. He nodded and stared out the window. "I just want to be sure you're safe.." he said, his voice strained. I shook my head, "No. No, I don't understand why you have to be with me. There's no reason, if they are just here.. Then there's nothing to worry about. I bet there's plenty of vampires everywhere." I said, standing up and grabbing my purse. "I'm going to visit my mom, today. Do you want to come?" I asked, walking towards the door. "Bella.. don't be absurd, of course I want to.. And I'm sorry." he followed me out into the living area. "Well, we're off to the hospital. Is there anything you want me to get..?" I asked as I walked to the counter and leaned up against it. Edward walked up behind me, rubbing soothing circles into my back. "Um, no not really. I have everything I need for now.." Angel said, filling the sink with water. "Okay, well.. Call me if you need anything, alright?" I said, touching her arm and heading to the door. "We'll see you later." Edward said, opening the door for me.

It was cool outside, cool for it to almost be summer. "So, why do you think the vampires are here in New York City?" I asked after a few moments. He shrugged, "I-well We cant be sure. Alice thinks that they are just passing through, but it doesn't make sense, because, well its usually sunny in New York.." I felt him shrug again as he put his arm around my shoulder. I leaned in to him and focused on keeping up with him. "I see…" I said, biting my lip. "Here, we can take the subway straight to the hospital she's at. It will be faster than catching a cab." I finished, steering us toward a stairwell underground. He laughed softly as he paid for our tokens. "Thanks, but I could have paid for my own." I said, smiling up at him. He shook his head, "Silly, Bella. Look, here it comes." he grabbed my hand and towed me toward the doors of the subway car.

The ride there didn't take as long as I thought-rather remembered- it would. A lot of people stared at us as we were lost in our own conversation. He made me laugh a lot and despite me being mad at him earlier, the anger soon disintegrated. We walked off the subway car, hand in hand, headed for the exit. As I remembered, the hospital was right above the station.

It didn't take long for us to find my mom's room. When I peeked in through the window on her door, she was sitting up with her arms around her knees. "Hey, Mom…" I said, walking in slowly, leaving Edward outside. We figured it would be better to introduce him after we had some alone time. I couldn't argue with him, I would never win. "Bella?!" she asked turning in her bed to face me. I nodded, "It's me mom. Gosh, how are you?" I asked, sitting down on her bed. I reached around to hug her, she squeezed back. Desperately kissing my cheek, I felt tears rolling down my face and sinking into my shirt. I was pretty sure they weren't just mine. "Oh god, mom.. I'm so sorry.." I said, gasping for air. "Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so glad that you are here. I was so scared I was going to .." I put my finger up to her lip, "Don't mom, its alright now -I smoothed the hair away from her face- you're alright now. That's all that matters. How's Phil…?" I asked after she calmed down some. "He's alright, they are joining our rooms soon. He was hurt.. He was hurt .. More than I was." she finally got out after a while. I hugged her tighter and let her cry on my shoulder. We sat there for the longest, twined within each other. I sat crossed legged on her bed and listened to her stories. After a while she asked about school, and my life in Seattle, and Charlie. I told her about everything, hesitating to tell her about Edward. I was afraid of what she would think. "Well, mom, there's this guy. Edward. He's amazing, and smart, and funny, nice, caring.." she beamed from ear to ear, listening to me talk about him. "Well, are you guys like.. Together-together?" she asked after a while. I hesitantly held up my left hand to her. "I'm engaged to him, mom." I said after a long moment. She grabbed my hand and twisted it in the light and pulled it close to her face. Her mouth hung open and I laughed, shakily. "Say something.. Anything, mom." I said, smiling at her reaction. She looked up to me, a wide mouthed smile on her face. "Bella, honey, wow! So you're really sure about this guy?" she asked. I nodded, "Oh, I'm in love with him, mom. He is truly my other half. I cant imagine my life without him.." I said finally. She smiled and pulled me into a hug again. "Oh, Bella. My baby, you're growing up so much." she wiped at her eyes, "So when do I get to meet this Edward?" she asked. I smiled shyly, "Well, he's here with me today. He came to New York City with me.." I said, rising from the bed and walking to the door. I opened it and walked out to get Edward. I held his hand and we walked in together.

"Mom, this is Edward-Edward, this is my mom, Renee." I said, moving it between the two of them. "Hello. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Bella has told me so much about you." he said, politely shaking her hand. She smiled at him and turned to me, winking when she thought he wasn't looking. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Edward." she said after a minute. I blushed and looked away. "So, I think I'll let you two talk a little while, and I'll go see Phil really quick.." I said, listening to my mother as she told me how to get to his room. "Why don't we go visit him together?" Edward suggested as I headed for the door. I turned and saw my mother's eyes light up. "Oh really? I haven't been able to see him lately. Bella?" she asked, her childlike face pleading with me. I smiled and nodded, heading over to get the wheel chair in the corner of her room. "I don't see how it could hurt anyone." I helped her into the chair, I hadn't realized how bad of shape she was in.

Phil was laying down in his bed, his breathing was labored. I felt tears spring to my eyes when I saw him lying there. My mom wheeled herself over to his side and took his hand, crying silently. "Phil, honey, guess who's here?" she said, softly. I saw his eyes flutter and they fell onto her face, he smiled weakly and squeezed her hand, "Who?" he asked in a raspy voice. She turned and motioned for me to come over. I squeezed Edward's hand and let go, joining her by Phil's side. "Hey, Phil.. How are you doing?" I asked, holding my mom's hand and touching his arm. He tried to laugh, but I could tell his throat was dry. I walked around and got him some water, and helped him to drink it. "Thanks…" he said, leaning back again, breathing heavier than before. "Honey, you'll never guess what news Bella has… you see, she's fallen in love. Yes, that's right, she's engaged.. To a wonderful young man named Edward." she said, holding back tears. "Isn't that exciting? Our little girl is growing up, so fast.." she kissed his hand. I leant down and kissed his forehead, he smiled, and I saw how much effort it took for the small action.

I squeezed his hand one last time, "I'll see you soon, Phil. Take care.." I turned to my mom, "We should get you back to your room, mom, we don't want them to think we kidnapped you." I said, forcing a shaky laugh. She nodded and I helped her away from the bed. "Can I speak to Edward?" he asked in a soft, raspy voice. We all turned, and Edward looked to me and my mom. She nodded, and he walked to the bed. "You guys go ahead." Phil said, raising his hand and waving.

I left with my mom and walked back down to her room. "He looks good, I mean.. well you know what I mean." I saw her nod at my comment. "Mom, are you okay?" I asked, concerned. She nodded, "I'm just a little tired, is all. Don't worry hon." she said as I helped her into her bed. "Okay, well you can call me if you need anything. I have to fly back to Seattle tomorrow, I cant afford to miss too much school. But I will stay if you need me to…" I offered, sitting back onto her bed. "I will stay for you, if you need me, mom, you know this. I'll send Edward back to Seattle.." she shook her head, "No, don't be stupid, Bella." she laughed " You are going to go back to Seattle, and I will call you and tell you about everything. You will get your education.." she finally finished and hugged me. Edward walked in, his face soft, but I could see how hard he tried to hold himself together.

"Bella, love, I think we should let your mother rest now. Besides, we have to get back to get packed and everything.." he said, with a frown in his voice. I nodded, tears in my eyes, "Goodbye, Mom. I'll see you soon." I kissed her forehead and walked out.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as soon as we were clear of the hospital. He looked down at me and studied my face for a long moment. "He's not going to make it, Bella. He told me so himself. He just doesn't want to hurt her with the news, so he has the doctors lie to her, to keep her from suffering even more than she is .. Now." he finished. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me. I clung to him with every ounce of my being. I hadn't realized I was crying until he leaned away to wipe my tears with his fingertips. "Bella, don't cry. It will be alright, you're mother is strong. She will make it through. When we get back to the house, I'm going to call the school and arrange for you to be able to complete some of your work online while you're here. I'll explain the situation…" he said after a while. We caught a taxi and I rested my head on his shoulder, while he cradled me in his arms. "I cant .. I just cant believe he's.." I felt new tears fall down my cheeks. And I buried my face into his chest. The cab driver asked if I was okay, although I was barely aware of anything else. Edward assured him that I would be and to just keep driving.

I was like a zombie when we reached Angel's house. I walked up the stairs ahead of Edward and walked into the house. Angel was there, cooking supper. It smelled amazing, but I couldn't appreciate it. I walked straight into my room and laid down on the bed. "Bella, do you want anything?" I heard Edward ask, his voice barely a whisper. I shook my head and rolled onto my side. "Can I just lay with you for a little while?" I asked after a moment. I felt his cold, hard arms wrap around me and pull me into his side. "Shhh now, everything will be alright." he said, stroking my hair.. My face.. My back.

I assume I fell asleep because when I awoke Edward was sound asleep and I could see the late afternoon sun shining in through the window. "Edward?" I shook his shoulder, he startled awake. "Hmm?" he asked, sitting up. "Could you get me a glass of water?" I asked, feeling stupid, but I couldn't face Angel and Collins just yet. He nodded and rolled himself out of bed. I pulled my jeans off as soon as he disappeared through the doorway, laying back down and pulling the covers up over myself. "Here." he said, closing the door tightly behind him. "Water, and two Tylenol. Take them, and please.. Eat this banana." he asked, sitting down on the bed again. He took his shoes off and laid under the covers with me. "I'm sorry.. I should be better at dealing with this. I need to be strong for my mom." I said, sighing and biting into the banana. I was hungrier than I thought, and I blushed, feeling embarrassed at how fast I had eaten the banana. I felt Edward laugh, it shook the whole bed. He wrapped his arms around me again. "You're aloud to grieve as well, Bella. Grieving is part of life.. And in order to take care of her, you have to take care of yourself first. By the way, they said not to worry about making the work up, it's considered an excused absence and they wont hold you accountable." he said, half his mouth raising into a smile. It didn't touch his eyes though. I nodded.

"So, where do we go from here?" I thought out loud. Edward dozed back off, and I decided that I would call Charlie…

**Bella: **_**"Hey dad, how are you?" my voice sounding tired.**_

**Charlie: **_**"Hey Bells, I'm good. You sound tired, how's everything?"**_

**Bella: **_**"Well dad, not so good. I'm in New York right now. Mom and Phil got into a bad car accident and I'm here visiting. I already worked it out with school.. Well Edward helped. But she's doing fine.. It's Phil who isn't doing well…" I let the statement hang in the air.**_

**Charlie: **_**"Phew.. That's a lot to deal with Bells. I'm sorry to hear, please, give Renee my best wishes."**_

**Bella: **_**"I will, but the thing is, Phil had the doctors lie to her. He doesn't want her to suffer more than she has to already. But I'm struggling to decide if I should tell her or not.."**_

**Charlie: **_**"Let it play out Bella, I know you want to help. But think about it, would you be hurting her more if you told her now? Or if she just found out? Maybe he will tell her?" he mused over the idea.**_

**Bella: **_**" You're right dad, thanks. Hey I will call you later when I know more. I love you, dad.." I said, my voice breaking.**_

**Charlie: **_**"I love you too, Bells. But don't cry over spilled milk. Good things come from things that are tragic. And tell Edward I said hello. I miss you and I'll see you soon. Bye."**_

Charlie hung up and I slumped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I decided I had to face Angel. It was now or never…

I walked out of the room, tiptoeing softly down the hall. Angel sat at the counter working on some sketches. She had a glass of wine sitting next to her and she looked up when she heard my approach. "Hey." I said, meekly. She pushed her books aside and motioned for me to come sit next to her. "Hey, what's up? How are you feeling?" she asked, placing her hand to my forehead. "I'm fine, now. I just, well I don't really know how to really deal with any of this. But I guess.. Well I was wondering if we could stay here a little bit longer…" I finally managed to get out. Angel nodded, "I see, well I heard about Phil, poor Renee. But you, you can stay for as long as you may need." she said, patting my arm. I rested my head on her shoulder. "Thanks.." I replied.

She showed me her newest designs she was working on; gorgeous, like always. I gave her suggestions and we laughed and talked. We talked a little about my mom and Phil, but it set such a dark mood that we decided to push it away until absolutely necessary.

Edward walked out from the hallway. His hair disheveled, yet he still looked amazingly beautiful. "Bella.." he said, walking to my side. I turned and smiled at him, "Hi, sleepy." I replied, but his eyes held no humor. "What's wrong?" I asked, feeling my face drop. I stood up, shaking my head. "No.. God, please tell me.. NO!" I said, dropping to my knees and shaking my head. "This cant be.. What about my mom.. Oh dear.." I kept saying through sobs. "Bella.." I felt his cold, stone arms wrap around me. "It will be okay.. She was there when he passed.." he said, smoothing my hair and pulling me tighter to his body. I heard Angel get up and then I heard Collins' voice. "He's gone.." I heard her say. I got up and got my purse and walked out the door.

The night air was crisp, yet still warm. I walked faster, wrapping my arms around my body, tighter. I felt tears rolling down my face and then someone pulled me off the sidewalk. I screamed, but cool-stone lips pressed gently to mine. "Don't run away Bella, I know it must hurt.. So much. You loved Phil and he loved you.." Edward said, his voice gentle and as smooth as velvet. I pushed away from him, "You can act like you know how it feels, but you don't know.." I growled at him. I saw his face drop and a deep, ancient sadness came into his eyes. "I do know, I do know what it's like to lose someone.." he took my hand and walked to the edge of the sidewalk by the street. He whistled and waved down a cab. He ushered me in and followed behind me. He informed the cab, and we left.

I stared out the window. Why couldn't I catch a break in life? every time I picked myself up, and things were going good-something else happens and pushes me right back down. "I'm sorry about what I said, you know more about loss than I would.." I said, taking his hand in mine. "I was being a total bitch, you didn't -nor do you still- deserve it." I squeezed his hand and he raised our hands to stroke my cheek. I leaned into him, bringing his arm around me. I paid the cab driver, against Edward's protests. Then we walked up to my mother's room. She sat at the window, staring out at the busy city night. "Mom.." I said, walking up behind her. "I knew I should have never listened to them.. They didn't know.. He was so young.. A good person.." her sentence broke off with a sob. "Mom, it's going to be alright, I promise. Lets get you back into bed.." I pulled her arm, moving her to the bed. She slumped down and laid under the blankets.


End file.
